7 Etapas de curación tras el abuso tóxico verbal

Verbal abuse is the fastest way to diminish and finally destroy someone’s self-esteem. The mind games and the control consumes your life completely, and after some time, your life loses every inch of beauty it had.

Después de haber sido maltratado verbalmente, darkness descends over you. You begin to see abuse even though abuse is not present because it’s the kind of life you’ve gotten used to by now.

El miedo se apodera de ti y te pones en modo protección, levantando muros a tu alrededor muy altos. Todo eso por culpa de una persona pobre e insegura que tenía que hacerte sentir como una mierda, para poder tener un sentimiento de superioridad.

The truth is, in almost all cases of verbal and emotional abuse, the victim is so much better than the abuser in every sense possible. That’s the main reason why the victim is abused in the first place.

A verbal abuser is capable of making you feel like you’re losing your mind, and any sense of stability is gone.

Antes de que entres en modo curativo, you have to admit to yourself that the person you’re living with or dating is an abuser.

Don’t be ashamed of that. Don’t blame yourself because there is nothing you could have done to prevent it, and there is no way you could have known he is that kind of a person.

You have to come to peace with the fact you’ve been abused. I know those issues and the trauma you’ve been through seems unbearable, but believe me, it’s not.

Now, you think you’re never going to recover. You think you’re going to stay damaged for the rest of your life. But, that is not true. That’s just the reflection of the state you’re currently in.

Pero créeme, esto también pasará.

Cómo curarse después de haber sufrido abusos emocionales y verbales:

1. Don’t believe the lie

Whatever a toxic person tells you is a lie. Don’t believe those words because they are only said to hurt you. That is their primary goal – to make te sientes inútil. Porque las personas sin autoestima son personas más fáciles de controlar.

Pero nadie es de piedra e incluso las palabras de un completo desconocido pueden colarse en tu corazón y pretender ser ciertas.

You have to fight against those lies, actively choosing which words you’ll take to your heart and which you’ll turn your back on.

2. Pedir apoyo y amor

After you’ve been emotionally and verbally abused, you need huge amounts of love. You need someone to hold you or listen to you. You need reassurance – someone who will tell you everything will be alright.

If you don’t ask for it, no one will give you what you want. People can’t read minds, and sometimes when you’re hurt, others might not recognize it immediately.

Así que pide ayuda. Pide amor cuando lo necesites, y la persona adecuada reconocerá tu grito de ayuda.

3. Start believing that you’re good enough

Haz lo que sea necesario para olvidar la relación en la que estuviste y trabaja para recuperar tu autoestima. Quédate solo. Llora mil lágrimas. Grita, chilla, o vete entre la gente y pasa el rato. Haz lo que te parezca correcto en ese momento.

We are all different from each other, and we don’t work in the same ways. Some of us need loneliness; some of us need company. Whatever you need, take it, and bring back your self-esteem because you’re good enough.

4. Tómate tiempo para perdonarte a ti mismo

Forgiveness is hard, and when you need to forgive yourself, it’s even harder. You have to come to terms with the fact that the person you trusted betrayed you and led you astray. It’s hard enough to imagine that happening to you, let alone accept it truly did.

The betrayed person becomes guarded and builds walls around, trying to shut down from emotions which make them vulnerable. Closing inside can only bring more damage. It’s much healthier to open up to pain and accept it. You’ll forgive yourself easier and move on.

5. Utilizar la naturaleza como herramienta curativa

Sal a pasear. Respira la fuerza que te ofrece la naturaleza. Relaja la mente y el cuerpo. Vive ese momento y deja ir todo lo demás que te ronda por la cabeza.

Cuando la negatividad te consuma, recurre a los árboles y al aire fresco, porque la naturaleza siempre estará ahí para relajar tu mente y mostrarte lo hermoso que puede ser el mundo.

6. Perdona a tu agresor

I know this is almost impossible for you to read and let alone do. But, abusers are people who need help. At first, you’re furious because of the things your abuser did to you, but what you need to realize is that evil plants its seed in the most suitable ground.

Those abusers are lost people who have gone astray and are unhappy with themselves. They seek approval and power by torturing others. And to them, that is the way to go. They don’t know any different. They need professional help.

Perdónales. Deshazte de la mala semilla que llevas dentro y sigue adelante con tu vida.

7. Céntrate en otra cosa y elige el amor

Concéntrate en mejorar y olvídate del maltrato que sufriste. Siempre que la vida te sacuda y empieces a dudar de ti mismo, recuerda que quieres mejorar; quieres recuperar tu antiguo yo.

And in the end, it’s up to you whether you’re going to heal or not. We are all faced with a choice. We can choose self-love or we can choose self-loathing.

So, what’s it gonna be?