8 maneras de dar espacio a alguien y mantenerlo a tu lado

¿Se pregunta cómo dar espacio a alguien sin perderlo?

Don’t worry because here’s everything you need to know about the benefits of giving someone space in a relationship, along with the best ways to do it!

Todas las relaciones llegan a un punto en el que uno o ambos miembros de la pareja empiezan a necesitar espacio.

If it’s not you but your partner who needs space in your relationship, I understand the feeling of confusion and the fear of losing them as a consequence of giving them the needed space.

I used to think the same but over time, I realized that giving space to each other in a relationship is the best thing I’ve ever done.

So, I can tell you for sure that there’s nothing you should worry about because needing space is a natural occurrence in every relationship and it’s not something you should fear.

Instead, you should embrace it! Now you’re probably wondering why so here’s why!

Muchas personas piensan que el concepto de dar espacio en una relación es lo peor que les podría pasar u otra palabra para referirse a una ruptura.

Pero la verdad es lo contrario.

Giving each other space is a remedy that will change your perspective, wipe everything that’s (potentially) toxic in your relationship and give you an opportunity for a fresh start.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that your relationship is broken.

If you notice that your partner is pulling away and if they tell you, “I need space,” it just means that.

It doesn’t mean that they are initiating a ruptura o ganar tiempo mientras se está al acecho de otra persona.

Significa que necesitan un descanso. Necesitan tiempo a solas y un poco de espacio para recargarse, centrarse en sus propias vidas y pensar hacia dónde se dirige tu relación.

And that’s exactly what you need, too!

By giving your partner space, you will also have your own space and the right amount of time to think about your significant other, future decision-making and, most importantly, you’ll have time to do your own things that will cleanse your body and soul, which is a prerequisite of every healthy relationship.

Giving each other space doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll become strangers when you make decisions to stop texting or calling each other or seeing each other for some time.

Al contrario, esta práctica puede fortalecer aún más vuestra relación, porque os dará la oportunidad de despejaros, echaros de menos y pensar en lo que realmente queréis.

So, there’s no need to torture yourself with thinking: ¿Volverá si le doy espacio? o ¿Volverá si le doy espacio?

Of course, there’s always a chance that they won’t come back but this greatly depends on how you’re giving them space and their intentions as well.

However, you shouldn’t be worried about this one as well because you know what they say: ‘If you love something, let it go’.

If it was meant to be, it will come back to you’.

Summarized, if it’s meant to be, they will surely come back and you will reunite again and be stronger than ever!

So, there’s no need to worry about the outcome and the only thing you should focus on is learning how to give someone space and keep them by your side.

And here’s how you’ll do it!

CÓMO DAR ESPACIO A ALGUIEN

Dar espacio a tu pareja es mucho más que dejar de verse.

It’s also about focusing on yourself and your free time, thinking about how to improve your love life, spending quality time with your friends and family, re-evaluating why you’re in a relationship with your partner in the first place and similar.

1. Deja de enviarles mensajes de texto y de llamarles

The biggest mistake that many partners make in relationships is thinking that the more they text or call their partner, the more they’ll think of them and miss them.

But it’s actually the opposite. The more you’re doing all that, the more they’ll feel trapped in a cage just like a bird that is thirsty for freedom.

Podrías seguir enviando mensajes de texto a tu pareja durante toda tu vida sin tomarte ni un respiro y esto no te aportará nada bueno.

At the end of the day, the only thing they’ll think of is the need for space and not you.

Así que, cuando se trata de dar espacio a tu pareja, lo primero que tienes que hacer es dejar de mandarle mensajes de texto y de llamarle.

Trust me, the no contact rule is your best friend in this situation and it’s also some of the best relationship advice you’ll ever get!

Cuando dejes de enviarles mensajes y de llamarles, volverán a sentirse libres y, con toda seguridad, ¡empezarán a echarte de menos! ¿Por qué?

Porque echas de menos a alguien por su ausencia y no por su presencia.

When you’re no longer in touch with each other, you basically have no idea what is going on in each other’s lives.

You can only assume. And that’s when you start thinking about how they’re spending their day, what they’re doing in their free time and similar.

Así que, darle espacio a tu novia/novio dejando de mandarle mensajes y de llamarle le dará suficiente hora de reiniciar (si tu chica/chico está un poco inseguro sobre sus sentimientos) ¡y que empiece a echarte de menos!

Véase también: 7 Signs He Misses You During The “No Contact” Period

2. Deja de acosarles en las redes sociales

Speaking from personal experience, I understand how hard it is to stop stalking your partner on social media during no contact because it’s the only way to stay in touch with them.

You literally wait for their next post, you’re the first one to press ‘Like’ or comment and then you wait for the next post, story or any type of activity that will give you the feeling that you’re an active part of their life.

Now, I’m not saying that you’re not an active part of their life but in this case, where you want to give them some space, you should become a little bit passive and stop stalking them on redes sociales.

Because the more you’re giving them likes, commenting and waiting for their activities on social media and trying to reach them virtually, the more you’re making them feel trapped.

Además, seguir todos sus movimientos en las redes sociales también es malo para tu salud mental.

Y por no hablar de posibles ataques de celos debidos a algún malentendido o similar.

So, instead of doing that, you should focus on the things happening in your life because that’s the only way to create balance in your relationship and life in general.

3. Haz lo tuyo

Instead of texting, calling them or stalking them on social media, focus on doing your own thing! I bet it’s been a while since you did something solely for yourself.

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you tend to lose a sense of your true self because you only focus on the activities that will benefit both of you.

And now is the time to change that. You need to reach your inner self again by asking yourself what are the things you used to enjoy but haven’t done in a while.

You need to focus on reconnecting with your friends and family, watching your favorite TV shows (I’m pretty sure there are some that you couldn’t watch with your partner), you need to find your passions again and do things that motivate you and inspire you.

Al hacer tus cosas, es menos probable que pienses en lo que está haciendo tu pareja.

It’s the best distraction method that simply works every time!

En lugar de esperar junto al teléfono y pensar si debes enviarles un mensaje de texto o no, aprovecha este tiempo para centrarte en mejorar tú mismo.

Hit the gym, explore the benefits of a holistic lifestyle, read about your favorite topics, start guitar lessons or some online lessons that you’re interested in.

There are so many things you can do and I’m sure you’ll succeed in finding what works best for you!

4. Permítete sentir todos esos sentimientos de pánico

Uno de los mayores errores que puedes cometer al dar espacio a alguien es intentar reprimir todos esos sentimientos de pánico e incomodidad que llevas dentro.

Si lo haces, puedes perjudicarte seriamente hasta el punto de volverte excesivamente agresivo o desarrollar trastornos obsesivo-compulsivos.

Así que, en lugar de reprimir tus sentimientos e ignorarlos, permítete sentirlos todos.

Be them negative or positive, you need to accept those feelings because they are a part of your being and they are a part of the situation you’re in.

And it’s totally okay to feel this way!

It’s totally okay to be annoyed as fuck and wanting to destroy everything around you because you have no idea what is going on in your partner’s life but trust me, everything is in your head!

If you’re convinced that you’re headed for a breakup and you constantly think of the worst so try to reach them and tell them that they shouldn’t do it, then the chances are bigger that it will happen.

And not because it should’ve happened but because you did it to yourself by not giving them enough space.

So, let yourself feel all of those panicky feelings, accept them and understand that it’s normal to feel that way and that you shouldn’t react upon them.

Y te aseguro que pasará antes de lo que crees.

Véase también: Si reprimes tus emociones, deberías leer esto

5. Understand that you can’t control their decisions

The urge to be in control of your relationship’s destiny forces you to constantly have the uncontrollable desire to reach your partner, to tell them how you see things from your perspective and to convince them that what you’re thinking is right.

Out of fear that you’ll lose them, you become desperate and try to do things you normally wouldn’t.

And that’s why it’s important to understand that you can’t control your partner’s decisions and vice versa.

Sus pensamientos, perspectivas y acciones les pertenecen igual que los tuyos y, por tanto, no puedes controlarlos.

Lo único que puedes controlar son tus propios pensamientos, perspectivas y acciones.

Una vez que aceptes el hecho de que no tienes ninguna influencia sobre sus decisiones, te será más fácil lidiar con toda la situación de ceder espacio.

Debes tener en cuenta que su percepción de vuestra relación difiere de la tuya.

Perhaps they’re not satisfied with the amount of affection, effort or respect in the relationship and they would want to change that, while in your eyes, everything’s just fine.

And perhaps there’s nothing wrong with your relationship but they just want some time and space for themselves and no matter what they decide after a timeout, you shouldn’t worry about it at all! Why?

Because everything happens for a reason and there’s no point in forcing things to go in your direction.

Puedes controlarte a ti mismo y a tu mentalidad, así que céntrate en ellos.

Focus on becoming the best version of yourself and whatever happens, you’ll know that you did your best.

6. Evalúe su relación

Aprender a dar espacio a alguien significa también evaluar tu relación.

En periodo de no contacto is a perfect time to learn about what’s lacking in your relationship (if anything) and if there’s something that needs to be improved!

Para saber más sobre tu relación, plantéate las siguientes preguntas:

– What do I want from my partner?

– Will I be able to reciprocate?

– Am I happy in the relationship?

– What are some things that need to be changed in the relationship?

– Is it possible to change them?

– Would I be happier if I was single?

By asking yourself these questions, you will define what’s really going on in your relationship and it will be easier for you to understand what to do next.

Also, you will not judge your partner’s opinions and decisions because you’ll have better insight into the situation.

Véase también: Por qué los hombres necesitan espacio en una relación y cómo afrontarlo

7. Toma decisiones por ti mismo

After you’ve evaluated the situation, it’s time to make decisions for yourself!

Instead of constantly thinking and overthinking about your partner’s decisions, you should focus on making your own! Why?

Because it’s the only way to know what you really want and need. Constantly relying on what your partner wants puts you in a passive position in the whole story.

Tienes que ser parte activa de tu propia vida. Debes saber lo que realmente quieres y lo que realmente mereces.

Por eso, esperar a que tu pareja decida por los dos le da el control de la situación.

Los hace superiores a ti y a tu estado de hacerte dependiente de su voluntad.

Nunca deberías dejar que eso ocurriera.

Debes centrarte en tomar tus propias decisiones que te beneficien.

Debes hacer lo que creas que es mejor para ti (aunque eso signifique tomar caminos separados).

I understand that such decisions are easier said than done but it’s always better to be single than to be afraid of making your own choices for the sake of not disappointing your partner or similar.

Sé honesto contigo mismo. Mira las cosas con cierta racionalidad y decide hacer lo que creas que es mejor para ti, para tu pareja y para tu relación.

And while you’re thinking about all that, don’t forget to enjoy things and spoil yourself with a long bubble bath, your favorite alcoholic beverage and other little joys of life.

Decide ser parte activa de tu amar la vida and life in general instead of only relying on your partner’s will.

Decide convertirte en el creador de tu propia felicidad y verás cómo las cosas cambian poco a poco.

8. Aceptar el resultado

Cuando das espacio a alguien, pueden ocurrir dos cosas: O se reencuentran o, por alguna razón, toman caminos separados.

Si haces todo lo anterior, casi puedo garantizarte que os reencontraréis antes de lo que piensas como si nada hubiera pasado y vuestra relación será más fuerte que nunca.

Pero en algunos casos, cuando la raíz de la necesidad de espacio es más grave, la relación se ve abocada al fracaso y uno de los miembros de la pareja inicia la ruptura.

Ahora, quiero que entiendas una cosa:

Pase lo que pase, ¡tú ganas!

If you reunite again after a timeout, congratulations! Your relationship will become stronger, more resilient and you’ll understand why you needed some space in the first place.

But if your partner concludes that your relationship is doomed and that there’s no point in fighting for it, or better said, if they disappear into thin air and you never hear from them again, you also win! Why?

Because it wasn’t meant to be and there’s no point in forcing something that will never work as it should.

Porque su decisión acaba de ahorrarte toneladas de tiempo y energía.

Porque te dieron la oportunidad de encontrar a alguien adecuado para ti y de volver a ser feliz.

You see, whatever happens, you win! So, there’s no need to be afraid of giving them some space!

It’s the only way to find out whether you’re meant to be or if they’re just a chapter in your book called Life.

Véase también: ¿Necesita espacio o se ha acabado? (7 maneras de saberlo)