8 etapas de la curación después de escapar del abuso narcisista

Tenía una amiga. Era una chica preciosa. Sonreía todo el tiempo, incluso cuando no tenía motivos para hacerlo.

Veía el mundo desde una perspectiva positiva. Siempre quería ver sólo las cosas bellas y buscar lo mejor en todo el mundo. Era una felicidad andante.

Créeme, el mundo era un lugar mejor gracias a ella.

Sadly, good people don’t always have a happy fate, nor did she and she didn’t deserve it either. She deserved none of what she got.

She didn’t deserve him spitting in her face, the horrific screams every night. She didn’t deserve her heart being ripped open and torn apart into thousands of pieces.

She didn’t deserve her self-confidence being taken away from her. She didn’t deserve falling flat on her face at the lowest point in her life and for what?

All because of the piece of narcissistic shit that walked into her life with one purpose only—to suck her dry and feast himself on her.

He manipulated her into oblivion. He isolated her from the world so she couldn’t get any help and he made her incompetent to seek it herself.

Le hizo creer que no era nadie, que nadie se preocupaba por ella y que debía alegrarse de que alguien la quisiera.

Le hizo creer que tenía que estar agradecida por tenerle a él, su maltratador.

Su camino estaba cubierto de espinas que la hacían sangrar más, a cada paso que daba hacia su felicidad, hacia su huida.

Pero esas heridas se curaron y dejaron de sangrar. Después, le quedaron cicatrices que permanecieron grabadas profundamente en su piel como recordatorio de lo que había sufrido.

Se curó y he aquí cómo.

Decidió curar

Ocurrió de repente. Su mecanismo de protección saltó y se activó, gritando que era ahora o nunca.

Sabía que tenía que hacer algo. Estaba harta de manipulaciones y de sentirse una mierda, indigna de la vida.

She knew that wasn’t her and finally, she decided she would do something about it. She decided she would bring back her old self because no one had that kind of consuming power over her to make her stay in the condition she was in. She learned how to deal with narcissistic behavior. 

Se deshizo de la toxicidad

She is an empath and she has always walked in other people’s shoes, trying to understand how they felt, so she walked in the shoes of her narcissist and that la destruyó. Vertió toxicidad en su cuerpo y en su mente, pero ella lo sabía y sabía que tenía que deshacerse de él.

Habló con las personas que la apoyaron en todo momento, se unió a grupos de apoyo y se desintoxicó.

It didn’t happen overnight and it was painful but she was brave enough to take this step. This way, she was one step closer to healing completely.

Tuvo que hacer frente a la crisis

She was feeling anxious because now all of a sudden there was no more fighting and screaming in her life. There was no one there to tell her what to do or manipulate and guilt-trip her into doing something she didn’t want to do.

She wasn’t observed and judged, she was finally free and she didn’t know how to deal with it. It was all too much, too soon. Imagine that you’ve been in bed for months and now that you are getting better, you feel you can walk and you want to walk, but you can’t. Your body doesn’t let you.

Her body didn’t let her relax. It was still hurt and didn’t know how to function again. So she gave it some time.

Se enfrentó a su ansiedad and her fears because she knew it wouldn’t last forever. It was only a phase which would pass and she would come out of it as a winner.

Se dejó enfadar

She didn’t hold her feelings inside her because she knew that would only destroy her more. She knew she wouldn’t be able to continue pretending nothing had happened because she felt everything.

She couldn’t turn off her feelings, she needed to accept them and be angry—be angry at him for taking advantage of her and be angry at herself for letting him.

Sentía dolor por todo el cuerpo, dolor psicológico que se convertía en dolor físico, y estaba enfadada por ello. Estaba enfadada consigo misma porque había dejado que su cuerpo sufriera, junto con su corazón y su alma.

Pero eso también pasó, así que pasó al siguiente reto.

Se perdonó a sí misma aceptando la verdad

She forgave herself because she knew it wasn’t her fault. She knew he was sick and his manipulations were strictly designed to stray her from her path and bring her to him so he could perform his magic, and suck the blood out of her like the vampiro emocional lo era.

She accepted he was toxic and his only goal was to hurt her; it’s the way he functioned. She realized she had been used and she had fallen into a narcissistic trap, from which she barely escaped. She forgave herself because she didn’t know any better.

Era una empática que sólo quería ayudar y hacer sonreír a la gente. Al final, lo hizo, pero eso la consumió y no le dejó más interior que dolor y sufrimiento.

Confesó que había sabido todo el tiempo

Finalmente asumió la responsabilidad y admitió que una parte de ella sabía lo que estaba pasando todo el tiempo, pero era mucho más fácil creer que él cambiaría y haría que todo fuera mejor de nuevo.

She fooled herself because it meant she didn’t have to go through everything she did, she didn’t have to be heartbroken, and she didn’t have to take the path to recovering from a narcissist, which is extremely painful and long.

Respetó la regla de no contacto

Los narcisistas vuelven. Harán lo que sea necesario para que vuelvas. Mentirán y tratarán de manipularte para que vuelvas a confiar en ellos, para que vuelvas con ellos y puedan abusar de ti de nuevo.

Ella lo sabía y respetaba la norma de no contacto. She didn’t want to have anything to do with him. She ignored his texts, his calls, and his failed attempt to trash-talk her to her friends. She cut him off completely and that is what saved her from ever going back.

Abrazó su vida y finalmente se dejó ir

La última etapa fue la de la liberación. La etapa final fue aquella en la que se sintió libre, en la que recuperó la sonrisa.

She forgave herself and peeked deep into her soul and she found all the love that was missing—the love for herself, respect for herself and a belief in a better world and long-term happiness.

Hoy, vuelve a ser aquella niña preciosa que conocí hace mucho tiempo, arrancando sonrisas a todo el mundo, incluida la suya.