8 señales más comunes de manipulación en una relación

La manipulación en las relaciones es un hecho muy común que la mayoría de los maestros manipuladores gracias a su astucia y su sutil poder de persuasión.

¿Se ha preguntado alguna vez si le ha ocurrido esto sin ser consciente de ello?

It usually starts with little things. One day, you wake up and you realize that you’ve been doing things lately that you normally wouldn’t do but you aren’t too alarmed about it yet so you just brush it off.

You don’t give it too much thought and you just go about your day. Then you start sensing that your partner has been starting to twist and turn your words and use them against you.

You feel violated and completely taken aback because he’s so sneaky when doing it.

Master manipulators have a way of doing things that makes everything seem like it’s totally your fault.

Hacen que empieces a sentirte completamente loco y que cuestiones tu propio juicio.

Sientes que todo lo que haces y dices empieza a morderte en el culo porque siempre hace que parezca que tienes mala intención, cuando en realidad es él quien vuelve todo lo que dices y haces en tu contra.

You start feeling powerless and like you’re no longer in control of what you do or say and it feels like a bottomless hole you can’t get away from.

Manipulation in relationships is usually evident in a partner who seems to be in your head at all times and before you’re even aware, he makes all your decisions for you.

But he is so sly at doing it that you don’t even realize it until it’s too late!

Algunos manipuladores son tan buenos que casi no se les puede pillar in fraganti, pero si crees que esto te puede estar ocurriendo a ti, permanece atento, ya que he recopilado una lista de los signos más comunes de manipulación en las relaciones que te ayudarán a llegar al fondo del asunto.

Si reconoces estas señales y puedes admitir que se están aprovechando de ti mediante la manipulación, puedes entrenarte para luchar ¡y detener esto de una vez por todas!

Acoso escolar

At first, it seems like he’s joking around but when you think about it, he’s not laughing with you, he’s actually laughing at you.

The tone that he speaks with and that look in his eyes tell you that he isn’t joking. By bullying, he wants to make sure that you are ‘obedient’ and that he has the upper hand.

You don’t even realize it but his jokes are a huge bandera roja because he’s actually manipulating you into thinking that you are less worthy or that you suck at something.

Why? Well, when the person you love repeats these things every day, it simply starts to become natural, like it’s always been this way.

You can’t say no

You simply aren’t able to say no. It doesn’t matter how many times you try to, just the thought of turning down a request from your partner scares you.

Saying ‘no’ just feels like a crazy idea.

You feel weak and helpless every time you try to disobey him, even though you aren’t really sure why it is like that.

Sometimes, the things he asks of you are impossible for you to do and you know that the right thing would be to say ‘no’ but at the same time, you just can’t seem to get yourself to say it.

The sneakiest thing about this is that he makes you feel like you’re a bad person if you say no!

He appears to have good intentions (which is never true) and if you refuse, you’re the one with a problem.

Así que siempre acabas diciendo que sí porque sabe cómo manipularte para que hagas lo que él quiera sin parecer manipulador ni mandón.

Justificas tus actos

Not just your own but his too. You try to find a reason for the way you’re both behaving.

It’s like you’re always trying to find an excuse for doing everything he asks of you.

You also want to justify his behavior, like he needs something from you and you’re the only one who can give him that.

Incluso a ti, las explicaciones te parecen horribles pero sigues encontrándolas y justificando tu comportamiento y el suyo.

Esta es su manera de hacer las cosas. ¡Te hace poner excusas por él!

You know it’s not right but it feels easier if you try to believe yourself that there might be a good explanation for his behavior, even though there never is.

If you really loved me…

This one shows how bad your partner really is. If he makes you do things by saying, “If you loved me, you would do this for me,” then I don’t know why you’re still with him.

Esta frase significa que equipara tu amor con lo que haces por él.

Lo más habitual es que los hombres utilicen esta frase para el sexo, haciéndote creer que el sexo es la única y verdadera muestra de amor que existe.

“If you really loved me…” is kind of obvious but he can also put the same request into different words that have the same meaning.

Este es uno de los más comunes y peligrosos. Utiliza tus emociones y te hace sentir culpable para que hagas cosas por él porque sabe dónde golpear donde más duele.

Una persona que te quiere nunca utilizaría tu amor como excusa para chantajearte y obligarte a hacer algo.

Always remember that! This man doesn’t love you, he is only using you for his own satisfaction.

Te culpas a ti mismo

It doesn’t matter how many times someone told you that it wasn’t your fault, you can’t stop blaming yourself because in your own mind, you are a bad partner.

Te sientes mal por tomarte un tiempo para relajarte porque en tu cabeza deberías estar con tu pareja, haciéndole feliz.

And this is how he gets you. He weasels his way into your head and stays there for as long as you’re not obeying his every subtle order.

Cuando empieces a culparte por hacer algo fuera de la relación y tener una vida real fuera de él, reconoce que es su forma de jugar contigo.

You have every right to do whatever you want and hang out with whomever you like and when you feel like a bad person for that, know that’s it’s time to admit to yourself what is happening and confront it head-on.

Chantaje emocional

Dear, emotional blackmail is the worse type of manipulation. It’s disguised as care and love but it’s actually awful.

Telling someone, “I would die without you,” is like telling them that if they left, you’d go off and kill yourself.

Por supuesto que te haría sentir mal, como si fueras responsable si se suicidan.

But please realize that no one’s well-being is your sole responsibility. Don’t accept responsibility for another person’s shitty, low-blow actions or threats!

Si quiere hacer algo, lo va a hacer independientemente de ti, así que nunca dejes que te haga sentir responsable de su felicidad. Eso es cosa suya.

Luz de gas

La luz de gas es una forma habitual de manipulación.

Suele ser obvio, si se presta atención y se buscan las señales.

For example, he says you didn’t say something or that he didn’t say something, or he reinvents the past and makes up new scenarios that make you believe that you have completely lost your mind.

If he’s been doing it for quite some time now, you’ll feel like you can’t even trust your own mind, so you start trusting him completely.

Sientes que necesitas a tu pareja a tu lado to feel sane, as you’re seemingly losing it when he’s not there.

Él es quien te mantiene a raya y sólo a su lado te sientes cuerda y normal.

Necesidad conveniente

Let’s say you and your partner need to go somewhere but you know he really doesn’t want to come along, so he suddenly starts feeling under the weather and cannot seem to go.

Or you need him to clean up after himself, as he’s made a complete mess of the house but he suddenly has a throbbing headache and he can’t move from the couch or listen to you yell.

This is why it’s called convenient neediness. It only happens when the manipulator needs it as his way out of something!

Este es fácil de detectar, así que si esto ocurre en tu relación, reconócelo y ponle fin.