8 segni più comuni di manipolazione in una relazione

La manipolazione nelle relazioni di coppia è un evento molto comune che la maggior parte dei maestri manipolatori riescono a farla franca, grazie ai loro modi scaltri e al loro potere di sottile persuasione.

Vi siete mai chiesti se vi è successo senza che ne foste consapevoli?

It usually starts with little things. One day, you wake up and you realize that you’ve been doing things lately that you normally wouldn’t do but you aren’t too alarmed about it yet so you just brush it off.

You don’t give it too much thought and you just go about your day. Then you start sensing that your partner has been starting to twist and turn your words and use them against you.

You feel violated and completely taken aback because he’s so sneaky when doing it.

Master manipulators have a way of doing things that makes everything seem like it’s totally your fault.

Vi fanno sentire completamente pazzi e mettete in dubbio il vostro giudizio.

Vi sentite come se tutto ciò che fate e dite cominciasse a ritorcersi contro di voi, perché lui fa sempre sembrare che abbiate intenzioni malevole, mentre in realtà è lui a rivolgere contro di voi tutto ciò che dite e fate.

You start feeling powerless and like you’re no longer in control of what you do or say and it feels like a bottomless hole you can’t get away from.

Manipulation in relationships is usually evident in a partner who seems to be in your head at all times and before you’re even aware, he makes all your decisions for you.

But he is so sly at doing it that you don’t even realize it until it’s too late!

Alcuni manipolatori sono così bravi che quasi non si riesce a coglierli sul fatto, ma se avete la sensazione che questo possa accadere anche a voi, restate sintonizzati, perché ho stilato un elenco dei segni più comuni di manipolazione nelle relazioni che vi aiuterà a venirne a capo!

Se riconoscete questi segnali e riuscite ad ammettere a voi stessi che vi state approfittando della manipolazione, potete addestrarvi a combatterlo e fermare tutto questo una volta per tutte!

Bullismo

At first, it seems like he’s joking around but when you think about it, he’s not laughing with you, he’s actually laughing at you.

The tone that he speaks with and that look in his eyes tell you that he isn’t joking. By bullying, he wants to make sure that you are ‘obedient’ and that he has the upper hand.

You don’t even realize it but his jokes are a huge bandiera rossa because he’s actually manipulating you into thinking that you are less worthy or that you suck at something.

Why? Well, when the person you love repeats these things every day, it simply starts to become natural, like it’s always been this way.

You can’t say no

You simply aren’t able to say no. It doesn’t matter how many times you try to, just the thought of turning down a request from your partner scares you.

Saying ‘no’ just feels like a crazy idea.

You feel weak and helpless every time you try to disobey him, even though you aren’t really sure why it is like that.

Sometimes, the things he asks of you are impossible for you to do and you know that the right thing would be to say ‘no’ but at the same time, you just can’t seem to get yourself to say it.

The sneakiest thing about this is that he makes you feel like you’re a bad person if you say no!

He appears to have good intentions (which is never true) and if you refuse, you’re the one with a problem.

Così si finisce sempre per dire di sì, perché lui sa come manipolarvi per farvi fare tutto quello che vuole senza sembrare manipolatore o prepotente.

Giustificate le vostre azioni

Not just your own but his too. You try to find a reason for the way you’re both behaving.

It’s like you’re always trying to find an excuse for doing everything he asks of you.

You also want to justify his behavior, like he needs something from you and you’re the only one who can give him that.

Anche a te le spiegazioni sembrano orribili, ma continui a trovarle e a giustificare il tuo e il suo comportamento.

Questo è il suo modo di fare. Ti costringe a trovare scuse per lui!

You know it’s not right but it feels easier if you try to believe yourself that there might be a good explanation for his behavior, even though there never is.

If you really loved me…

This one shows how bad your partner really is. If he makes you do things by saying, “If you loved me, you would do this for me,” then I don’t know why you’re still with him.

Questa frase significa che egli equipara il tuo amore con quello che fate per lui.

La cosa più comune per cui gli uomini usano questa frase è il sesso, facendovi credere che il sesso sia l'unico vero segno d'amore.

“If you really loved me…” is kind of obvious but he can also put the same request into different words that have the same meaning.

Questo è uno dei più comuni e pericolosi. Sfrutta le vostre emozioni e vi costringe a fare cose per lui, perché sa dove colpire dove fa più male.

Una persona che vi ama non userebbe mai il vostro amore come scusa per ricattarvi e farvi fare qualcosa.

Always remember that! This man doesn’t love you, he is only using you for his own satisfaction.

Si dà la colpa a se stessi

It doesn’t matter how many times someone told you that it wasn’t your fault, you can’t stop blaming yourself because in your own mind, you are a bad partner.

Vi sentite in colpa per esservi presi un po' di tempo per rilassarvi, perché nella vostra testa dovreste essere con il vostro partner e renderlo felice.

And this is how he gets you. He weasels his way into your head and stays there for as long as you’re not obeying his every subtle order.

Quando iniziate a rimproverarvi di fare qualcosa al di fuori della relazione e di avere una vita vera e propria al di fuori di lui, riconoscete che questo è il suo modo di giocare con voi.

You have every right to do whatever you want and hang out with whomever you like and when you feel like a bad person for that, know that’s it’s time to admit to yourself what is happening and confront it head-on.

Ricatto emotivo

Dear, emotional blackmail is the worse type of manipulation. It’s disguised as care and love but it’s actually awful.

Telling someone, “I would die without you,” is like telling them that if they left, you’d go off and kill yourself.

Naturalmente vi farebbe sentire in colpa, come se foste responsabili se si uccidono.

But please realize that no one’s well-being is your sole responsibility. Don’t accept responsibility for another person’s shitty, low-blow actions or threats!

Se vuole fare qualcosa, la farà a prescindere da voi, quindi non permettetegli mai di farvi sentire responsabili della sua felicità. Questo dipende solo da lui!

Illuminazione a gas

Il gaslighting è un modo comune di manipolazione.

Di solito è ovvio, se si presta attenzione e si cercano i segni.

For example, he says you didn’t say something or that he didn’t say something, or he reinvents the past and makes up new scenarios that make you believe that you have completely lost your mind.

If he’s been doing it for quite some time now, you’ll feel like you can’t even trust your own mind, so you start trusting him completely.

Sentite di aver bisogno del vostro partner al tuo fianco to feel sane, as you’re seemingly losing it when he’s not there.

È lui che vi tiene sotto controllo e solo al suo fianco vi sentite sani e normali.

Bisogno conveniente

Let’s say you and your partner need to go somewhere but you know he really doesn’t want to come along, so he suddenly starts feeling under the weather and cannot seem to go.

Or you need him to clean up after himself, as he’s made a complete mess of the house but he suddenly has a throbbing headache and he can’t move from the couch or listen to you yell.

This is why it’s called convenient neediness. It only happens when the manipulator needs it as his way out of something!

Questo è facile da individuare, quindi se questo accade nella vostra relazione, riconoscetelo e metteteci fine.