Carta al hombre que me dio por sentado

Nunca te pedí que entraras en mi vida. Querías formar parte de ella.

Te apuntaste a todo por tu cuenta. Querías compartir tu vida conmigo y querías que yo te dejara entrar en la mía.

You were so convincing because in some moments I saw you looking at me like I was everything you’d been looking for.

You used all your ‘resources’ to make me fall for you.

Eras simpático y atento y, además de todo, encantador. Eras divertido y te esforzabas tanto por que me fijara en ti que pensé que sería buena idea darte una oportunidad aunque parecieras demasiado bueno para ser verdad.

Aunque había dejado atrás unas cuantas relaciones fallidas, me convencí de que al menos merecía una oportunidad por sus esfuerzos.

You deserved my time and you deserved my attention. You worked so hard for it. Something wasn’t right from the start, I could sense it from the very beginning, but I told myself it was just mi miedo a que el pasado se repita.

…and …I decided to give us a shot. I decided to believe your words and give my trust to you.

Little by little I noticed I was falling for you. Actually, it wasn’t just little by little, it was falling all at once.

Por desgracia, caí de bruces.

Mientras mis mariposas se despertaban, tú envenenabas las tuyas y las hacías desaparecer.

I guess I wasn’t what you expected me to be; you thought I’d be a sucker for your manipulative games or be like all the others naive girls you dated. But I wasn’t. Because I despise games.

I despise playing with other people’s feelings because I was played with, too.

And it destroyed me. It hurt me to the point when I couldn’t take any more of it. With you, I played all my cards out in the open. I played fair.

I showed you everything I had so you’d know what you were getting yourself into.

Ojalá hubieras hecho lo mismo por mí. Ojalá hubieras sido sincera. Te amé como esperaba ser amada algún día.

I wanted to believe you were the one and that if I was honest, you’d be honest too. So I held nothing back.

Nunca te hice daño, estuve ahí para ti cuando nadie más lo estaba, estuve ahí cuando me necesitaste e incluso cuando no tenías ni idea de que tú también me necesitabas.

I valued you and appreciated you for who you were. I didn’t want to change you, I just wanted you to do the same for me as I was doing for you.

I always listened to you. I tried to tend to your needs and I tried to make you happy, you know. I wanted us to work out and that’s the main reason why I fought so hard for your love.

Qué idiota fui, qué tonta, luchando por el amor de un hombre que nunca planeó amarme, ni siquiera para empezar.

All those things I did, I didn’t do them so you’d thank me, I didn’t do those things so you’d feel like you owed me, I did them because I felt like it. I did them because I thought you deserved them.

Los hice porque era lo correcto y quería quererte bien.

But you didn’t bother trying half as much as I did. It looked like you needed me just to fall for you and then your job was done.

Then you’d have someone to love you, to take care of you and your needs, someone to be there for you without feeling like you had to reciprocate their efforts at all.

Al cabo de un rato, después de ser tocada por tus manos y luego ser negada, después de entregarme toda a ti y no recibir nada a cambio, después de correr hacia ti sólo para ver que no tenías ganas de tenerme en tus brazos, noté que un extraño me miraba en el espejo.

Me sentía como si fuera una víctima y ya no una guerrera, como si me hubieran chupado toda la vida.

Out all the relationships I’ve been through, the one with you was the most heartbreaking, you know?

Me hiciste sentir como si fuera una pérdida de tu tiempo, como si todos mis esfuerzos no valieran nada y aún así esperabas que hiciera todo lo que hacía por ti, como si te debiera todas esas cosas.

The truth is, I owed you nothing. I should’ve stopped trying the same time you did. You didn’t deserve even an ounce of what I gave you. 

Tratarte como lo hice fue un error. Ponerte en un pedestal fue un error.

Te equivocaste de mujer.

If you thought I’d still be there for you even after the way you made me feel, even after you showed me you couldn’t care less about me, you’ve got me all wrong.

Sigo teniendo una lista de prioridades y he colocado mi nombre en lo más alto de ella.

At the end of the day, I know I did my best. I know I’ve tried and you didn’t.

There is nothing else to do than to show you how it feels to be without all those things I did for you. Perhaps you will learn to appreciate me once you don’t have me in your life anymore. Perhaps you will be missing all those things I did for you that you barely noticed when I was next to you.

It doesn’t really matter, it is already too late.

I’ll learn from my mistakes and I’ll do my best to not repeat the same mistakes I made with you. The minute I see someone is taking me for granted, I’m walking away.