A veces las personas que crees que deberían estar a tu lado no lo están
Sometimes the people who you think should be there for you aren’t. Your mom, your sister, your best friend. The people who ‘should’ take care of your various needs will sometimes fail. They will be busy, or tired, or too consumed with their own lives to entertain yours. Es muy fácil perderse en su tristeza. La soledad de llegar a la gente y que esa gente te rechace. A menudo en momentos en los que ya eres vulnerable, que es lo que te ha llevado a tender la mano en primer lugar. ¿Qué puedes hacer con eso?
Nada. You can’t control other people. You can’t control how they will respond to you or what they would be willing to do for you if asked. What can you do then? Fuck them. Not in a mean way. Just leave them over there to do whatever they are doing. And what are you going to do?
Mira a tu alrededor. Fíjate en la gente que aparece sin preguntar, que ofrece apoyo sin intentarlo, que está dispuesta a hacer estupideces por ti sin ninguna razón—and appreciate them. Don’t get so caught up in what you don’t have that you miss out on what you do. Maybe that girl you work with who shows up to everything you invite her to, and always asks you about your day, would make a really good go-to person if you find your go-to person doesn’t want you to come to them anymore.
Empieza a darte cuenta—who texts you, who calls you, who answers or immediately returns your calls? Who is always saying super-supportive things on your Facebook Wall? It’s okay to have different friends for different things. It’s okay to lean on new people if they offer for you to and for you to see where it goes. Look at who and what are bringing you happiness and satisfaction, then focus on those. Fomentar que. It’s not always whom you think it ‘should’ be who shows up when you need it the most. Don’t close the door because you’re waiting for the person who you think ‘should’.
This was highlighted to me once when an acquaintance canceled her birthday outing because ‘nobody’ was coming. “Bitch… I was coming! That’s not good enough for you?” I would have gone out with her and had a great time, but I wasn’t who she wanted to celebrate her birthday with and the disappointment she felt by that inhibited her ability to enjoy her own day. I will not be that girl. If you’re there? Thank you. I love and I appreciate you. If you’re not? I’ll survive—¡mira toda la gente que hay! They deserve the best from me and I can’t give them that if I’m watching the door waiting for someone who isn’t coming.
It’s not that it doesn’t hurt or that I don’t care about the people who don’t show up. I’m not even bad enough on my worst day to try and pretend that I don’t cry over it. But… No permitiré que mi tristeza interfiera con el sincero agradecimiento que siento cuando me doy cuenta de que he sido bendecido abundantemente con una vida llena de personas que me quieren.
by Tia Grace
Read more of Tia’s work on http://yoursassyblackfriend.com/
