Estoy cansado de ser siempre tu última opción

Estoy cansada de ser fuerte todo el tiempo y pretender que lo tengo todo. Nunca quise ser una mujer así.

Nunca planeé ser someone’s maybe, someone’s last option. But in the blink of an eye, I found myself here, crawling in front of you and begging for some love. I was wondering why you couldn’t love me the way I loved you.

I was so easy to love but you refused to see that. You always treated me like someone who will be there for you no matter what you do. You liked the feeling that there is someone who loves you even if you don’t love them.

Your ego was boosted every time I would call you late at night in my moments of insanity, asking you why you don’t want to love me back and why you are pushing me away.

Luego, cuando sonreías y me decías que debía irme a la cama, me daba cuenta de lo poco que yo significaba para ti. Y tú significabas el mundo entero para mí.

Cada vez que me descuidabas, me moría por dentro. Cada vez que mirabas a otra chica, todo mi mundo se derrumbaba.

Cada vez que decías que eras feliz con alguien nuevo en tu vida, yo perdía toda esperanza de estar contigo.

I desperately wanted to hear that you love me just like I loved you. But I never heard those words coming out of your mouth. And when I asked you if we can be more than friends, you just said ‘maybe’.

For you, once more I was the last option—your last choice who would be there when all of your so-called friends left you.

Se suponía que yo era quien te consolaría en tus momentos de tristeza, pero quien nunca sería capaz de secar las lágrimas de tus mejillas. Se suponía que yo era quien te diría que todo iría bien, pero nunca podría abrazarte.

Yo sólo era una mujer a la que acudías cada vez que te convenía. Y cada vez que me llamabas, acudía sin pensar en mi orgullo.

Por tu culpa, me olvidé de valorarme. Siempre te puse primero, pero eso fue mi mayor error.

I don’t know why I settled for someone who never knew my true value. I don’t understand why I accepted to be your last choice in the first place.

Maybe I was so much in love that I didn’t pay attention to that. And no matter how much I think about that, I can’t find reasons good enough to explain why it took me so much to get rid of putting you first.

But I somehow managed to do that, even if that meant letting you go out of my life. I knew that I had been holding onto something that didn’t exist anymore. And it was enough!

Así que me rendí.
And I didn’t do that because I failed but because I learned.

Aprendí que era hora de dejar de poner a los demás primero porque Yo soy la única prioridad en mi vida. I learned that others will never respect me if I don’t respect myself enough.

Me di cuenta de que, dijeras lo que dijeras, yo era más que suficiente. Era digna de tu amor, pero nunca quisiste admitirlo.

From now on, I have a totally different outlook on life. I don’t look at myself in the mirror and think that I am the unlovable one.

Now, I think that I deserve all the love and affection of this world. I am no longer interested in being someone’s ‘maybe’, someone’s last choice like I was to you.

I am not interested in being part of a one-sided love anymore—the love where I was the one who was always giving and never receiving.

I am done being in love with the man who couldn’t even give me a chance to show him my love.

I don’t want to waste my time on someone who will never accept me the way I am.

If I already was your second choice, then you definitely don’t deserve to be my first. Never again!