Cómo Dejar de Ser Narcisista: Un Proceso De 12 Pasos Para Romper Sus Patrones De Conducta

As long as you’re trying to figure out how to stop being a narcissist, congratulations—you’re one step ahead.

It means you’re at least becoming aware of your problem, which can’t be said for most of your peers who are narcissists.

It doesn’t matter whether you recognized the symptoms of trastorno narcisista de la personalidad por tu cuenta o un profesional de la salud mental te dijo que padeces NPD, leer todas estas cosas sobre ti mismo da miedo.

Así que déjame darte un poco de esperanza: puedes curarte y puedes cambiar, a pesar de lo que te digan los ignorantes.

No, it won’t be easy but it can be done. If you just read on, we’re offering you the answer to the question: ‘How to stop being a narcissist?’

1. Admita que tiene un problema

El problema número uno de la mayoría de las personas con tendencias narcisistas y de las que sufren cualquier afección mental en general es el hecho de que niegan tener un problema.

Everyone around them keeps telling you that you should get some treatment and that it’s about time to make some changes to your character but you simply can’t get it in your head.

En lugar de eso, justificas tu comportamiento tóxico y culpas a todo tu entorno de tus actos.

In fact, even when you notice that something is off, you observe it is as an episode and refuse to face the truth—that you’re suffering from a serious NPD and that something has to be done about it.

Yes, saying: “I’m a narcissist,” for the first time is hard work but you have to do it. However, you can’t ask yourself: “How do I stop being a narcissist?” unless you say, “I’m a narcissist,” first.

Before you make any concrete moves, firstly, you have to accept this reality. Don’t worry—there is no shame in it and you will manage to handle your disorder if you start with healing yourself in the healthiest way possible.

2. Estar dispuesto a aceptar el cambio

They say that people don’t change after a certain age, that we all basically stay who we essentially are, that we have the ability to adapt to a certain situation but that sooner or later, our true colors will swim back to the surface, as much as we try to control them.

Well, there is something missing in this commonly used phrase—people don’t change a menos que quieran hacerlo.

They don’t do it to please someone else or under any kind of pressure—they only do it when they feel it’s the right thing to do.

So, that’s the difference between you and anyone else and that’s why you’ll succeed—you’re the one who really decided to change your ways.

Therefore, you have to be willing to change. You have to be open to this new you who will arise from this process; you’ll have to love and accept yourself like never before.

3. Llega a la raíz de tu narcisismo

Now that you’ve made up your mind and are certain about sticking to your decision, it’s time to start exploring your narcissistic personality disorder a little bit deeper.

I warn you—you’ll have a hard time doing so; after all, nobody likes digging through their old emotional wounds but it has to be done if you expect any kind of progress.

The main question here is: “What made you become a narcissist and have these narcissistic tendencies?” No, you weren’t born with the narcissistic traits you have today; your true self was turned into this toxic person.

First and foremost, let’s go back to your early childhood.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m sure your parents did the best they could do to raise you properly but sometimes, they can be the ones who caused your narcissistic personality disorder.

¿Te sentiste suficientemente querido durante tu educación? ¿O te sentiste demasiado querido?

Sí, una crianza insensible o hipersensible puede ser la causa de que alguien se convierta en narcisista.

Otras causas pueden ser demasiadas expectativas o críticas constantes. Tal vez nunca desarrollaste tu autoestima de la forma adecuada, así que intentaste escapar hacia el narcisismo.

Además, cualquier tipo de abuso, incluido el emocional o verbal, puede ser la raíz de su trastorno narcisista de la personalidad.

Sea lo que sea en cuestión, una vez que llegue al fondo de su traumasEsta vez, deja de huir de ellos. Para variar, haz todo lo posible por procesarlos e intenta dejarlos en el pasado, donde pertenecen.

4. Aprenda qué le desencadena

The next step also includes a lot of introspection, self-help and self-awareness because this is when you’ll learn about your triggers.

What has to happen for you to become like this because you certainly don’t display your narcissistic behavior all the time? What makes you react the most and what turns you into a toxic person?

Algunos personas narcisistas are triggered by people telling them, “No,” and some react negatively when they feel threatened or intimidated or when their confidence is shook, while others can’t stand criticism.

Therefore, it’s your job to get to the bottom of your personality and see what concerns you the most. This way, you’ll have a better understanding of your actions and you’ll be able to control them more.

Tenga en cuenta que todas las personas tienen determinados desencadenantes.

However, the difference between you and the rest of the world is that you stop being in charge of yourself the moment you are ‘provoked’, you shut off completely and your narcissistic self appears on the scene.

5. Enumere sus comportamientos narcisistas

Once you’ve finished with the root of your issue and your triggers, go on and list the types of behaviors you connect with narcissism as well.

A veces puede que ni siquiera seas consciente de esos comportamientos, así que quizá tu lista debería incluir las cosas a las que tus más allegados han prestado atención.

¿Cómo reacciona cuando se desencadena?

Do you have an anger outburst the moment someone in your surroundings doesn’t give you the response you expected, do you go all passive-aggressive on them, do you engage in emotional manipulation or do you just emotionally withdraw and ignore them?

If necessary, observe yourself for a certain amount of time to get the real result. Get yourself a diary in which you can write about specific situations—what brings you to your narcissistic behavior and how you react.

6. Elaborar un plan de acción

The next step after writing your diary would be making a plan. You accepted your mistakes, you took full responsibility for them and now it’s time to do something so they don’t happen ever again.

Therefore, it’s your job to imagine your perfect response and reaction to a certain situation.

Repasa los acontecimientos en los que te portaste mal y pregúntate si las cosas podrían mejorarse, si podría haber habido un resultado distinto si hubieras sido diferente y si hay alguna forma de construir relaciones sanas con tus seres queridos.

I won’t lie to you—you won’t start acting all nice and perfect overnight. After all, this doesn’t mean that you’re not allowed to be angry or sad from time to time; these are all basic human reactions.

However, it will be much easier for you to take charge of your narcissistic behavior if you have this plan somewhere in the back of your head. Trust me—before you know it, you’ll catch yourself acting on it.

7. Trabaja tu baja autoestima

What most people don’t know is that one of the symptoms of personalidad narcisista desorden es un ego extremadamente frágil.

Sí, parece que estás tan lleno de ti mismo y finges que tienes una autoestima enorme y la mejor imagen posible de ti mismo, pero en realidad, la verdad es muy diferente.

The problem with NPD is that your confidence depends on other people’s opinions and you take advantage of others to get the praise you desperately need.

Seeking validation is actually your narcissistic supply, something you can’t function without.

Well, if you’re figuring out how to stop being a narcissist, the best way to do so is to start working on your low self-esteem.

However, I’m talking about different kinds of self-esteem here—about ones which are not related to your ego. It means improving your self image and the way you perceive yourself.

Significa sentirse bien con uno mismo, sin depender de lo que digan los demás.

8. Toma conciencia de tus actos

Además de la autoestima, también hay que reforzar la atención y la conciencia de uno mismo. Esto significa ser plenamente consciente de tus actos y del modo en que te afectan a ti y a los demás.

Desde que tienes uso de razón, te has puesto a ti mismo en primer lugar. egocéntrico y te ocupaste sólo de tus propias necesidades.

Debido a tu sentido de la prepotencia y a que eres propenso a la grandiosidad, sólo te preocupaban las cosas que tenían un impacto directo en tus sentimientos o en tu ego y nunca te importaron las consecuencias que tu comportamiento pudiera dejar en los demás.

Well, it’s time to change that.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you should spend the rest of your life overthinking your every move before actually doing something about it but you certainly have to become more thoughtful when it comes to your actions and the way others handle them.

9. Encuentre una manera de retrasar su comportamiento narcisista

I won’t lie to you—as much as you try, you can’t become your true self overnight.

You can have an epiphany but you won’t wake up the next morning, after reading this step by step guide, with someone else’s mind and heart in your yesterday body.

Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t make any progress. In fact, just take baby steps, one at a time and before you know it, you’ll reach your goal and see for yourself how to stop being a narcissist.

Por lo tanto, existe esta gran práctica con la que puedes comenzar tu viaje. En lugar de matar o borrar mágicamente todos tus impulsos narcisistas, al menos da lo mejor de ti para retrasar tu comportamiento narcisista.

En lugar de mirar todo el rato el panorama general, concéntrate en una situación cada vez.

Tu objetivo es controlarte en un momento dado, sin pensar en lo que podría ocurrir la próxima vez que te encuentres en una situación similar.

Cada vez que sientas que se avecina un estallido de ira o un episodio de chantaje emocional, prueba a inspirar y espirar lentamente durante un par de segundos e intenta contar hasta diez antes de decir nada o hacer más respiraciones.

This way, you’ll manage to calm your body, mind and heart and you’ll be more in charge of yourself.

10. Practicar la empatía y la amabilidad

All people suffering from this disorder share one narcissistic trait—they suffer from a lack of empathy and they have a hard time sympathizing with others.

They think they’re the only ones who matter in this world and they rarely take other people’s feelings or viewpoints into account and nor do they give a damn about the needs of others.

If this is something you can relate to, you’re probably wondering how to stop being a narcisista encubierto.

Eso tiene que cambiar de un modo u otro. Sin embargo, la buena noticia es que la empatía, como la mayoría de las cosas, puede practicarse.

A partir de ahora, cada vez que antes de actuar una determinada cosa, trata de pensar cómo podría sentirse el destinatario de tus palabras y acciones.

It doesn’t matter whether you are about to display your toxic behavior or you plan on being nice—just put yourself in their place and see whether you’d like someone treating you that way or not.

If you don’t succeed in doing this in the middle of your episode, rethink the entire situation once you get calmer and try walking a mile in the víctima de su abuso narcisista’s shoes. It’s not pleasant, is it now?

Well, you’re the only one who can end it.

An important step toward putting an end to this lack of empathy is kindness. Instead of just perceiving other people’s negative emotions, focus on the good ones as well.

For a change, be kind to someone else, without expecting anything in return and without it being a part of your sneaky plan you’re yet to reveal.

Try figuring out how these people you treated nicely feel and focus on how being the reason for someone’s smile makes you feel.

11. Deja de menospreciar a los demás

Another symptom of narcissism is the grandiosity, sense of superiority and self-importance over everyone around you—your coworkers, best friends and closest family members.

A narcissistic trait is having this sense of entitlement and thinking you’re above everyone else, which often results in narcissistic abuse.

Actually, your sense of self-love comes from taking advantage of others and using your loved ones to give you compliments and make you feel like they’re below you.

Guess what? They’re not!

Even if you disagree with someone, that doesn’t make you smarter or more wise.

Even if you’re better looking or earn more money, you shouldn’t have this sense of entitlement and nor should you feel like you’re the privileged one.

¿Recuerdas que hablamos de empatía?

Well, the next time you try ruining someone’s self-confidence in order to get your narcissistic supply or feel that your sense of superiority is about to take over, wait a second and ask yourself how the victims of your abuso narcisista sentir.

12. Pedir ayuda profesional

While figuring out how to stop being a narcissist, you’re convinced that your loved ones, including your closest friends, coworkers and family members, are all the help you need in this self-healing process.

Even though seeking support from them is a huge step toward your recovery, sometimes you need professional help with this issue—and that is nothing you should be ashamed of.

Hay profesionales de la salud mental con un doctorado en este y otros temas similares, por lo que sin duda sabrán ayudarte con tu problema de la forma adecuada.

Don’t worry—nobody will judge you there but nobody can do the dirty work for you.

Instead, they will just show you the way, take your head through this tunnel all the way toward the light and, most importantly, give you the answer to the question: ‘How to stop being a narcissist?’