La entrenadora de citas revela cómo evitar sentir algo demasiado pronto

Getting caught up in feelings early during the dating stage can be a real roller coaster, and I’ve experienced that crazy ride more times than I’d like to admit. 

I used to be the person who would one day casually go out with a guy, and the next thing you know, I’m daydreaming like crazy. We didn’t even set up a second date and I’m already planning our future together!

Estaba tan desesperada por amor que Pensaba que todos los hombres con los que salía eran elsin darme cuenta de que me costaría muchos desengaños. Entonces me topé con Shahrzad Parandeh, una coach de citas en TikTok que cambió mi vida.

Enumeró todo lo que había hecho mal, pero por suerte también aportó soluciones. Comenzó su vídeo diciendo:

“If you’re a woman who gets attached early on during the dating phase, I’ve got you, girl! I want you to listen to this, I want you to save this and come back to it because it’s going to change your dating game and it’s going to really help you approach dating in a much healthier way.”

Shahrzad explica cómo cometió los mismos errores antes y siempre le salió el tiro por la culata but now everything’s different. She shared the things that helped her and that every woman can apply to her life. So try this out next time!

Realize you don’t even know this guy

Aunque pueda sonar raro al principio, ¡tiene sentido! A menudo fantaseamos con una persona inventada en nuestra mente while not knowing anything about them. Who knows if he’s even half of those things you want him to be?

En lugar de pasar el tiempo convenciéndote de que es la persona adecuada para ti, intenta conocerle mejor antes de hacer planes sobre tu futuro. This man might be a convicted criminal while you’re here thinking he’s your perfect match.

Shahrzad explains you’re focusing on the wrong things:

“You wanna know whether or not he has what it takes to be with you. Is he gonna be a person that’s reliable, is he trustworthy, is he consistent, is he gonna treat you right?… And if right off the bat, he’s not showing you the qualities that you want, instead of focusing on what do I do to make him come to me, take a step back and say I don’t even know who he is. Let me see if he has the qualities, the real qualities that I want.”

You gotta admit she’s right. How can you think you’re in love when you haven’t even found out much about him? Don’t think you know him fully just from one date and late-night texting. Tómate tu tiempo para conocerle de verdad y luego decide si te gusta, no la versión imaginaria que tienes en la cabeza. 

No le envíes tantos mensajes

Todos sabemos que esto puede ser difícil, sobre todo cuando te gustan de verdad. Sin embargo, you can’t find out everything about someone immediately. También sería aburrido repasar toda nuestra vida rápidamente por mensajes y no dejar nada para más tarde.

Mencionó la importancia de ser realista con uno mismo:

“When you’re texting all day and all night, you start to get this false sense of intimacy. You start to have real feelings for someone that’s just texting you. They’re not really dating you when they’re just texting you!”

Sé que te sientes muy bien cuando congenias con alguien y tienes muchos temas de los que hablar, pero ella tiene razón. It’s just a nice conversation, nothing more! So why would you invest your feelings as if you’re in a committed relationship when you’re far away from that?

El entrenador de citas también explicó it causes unnecessary drama and anxious feelings the moment they’re busy and can’t text you. If you get nervous while waiting for his response and then drop everything the second he answers, that’s the biggest sign you need to step back!

Centra tu energía en ti mismo

Shahrzad terminó su vídeo mencionando el consejo que da a todos sus clientes. Hay que think about all the energy you’re wasting on him and redirect it towards yourself. Como ella dijo:

“All that attention, all of that beautiful love that you’re freely giving away to someone that you hardly know, you deserve it, so call it back to you. Bring all of that attention back to you. You deserve all of that energy!”

Imagine you’re spending all this time and energy on someone who’s not even worth it and you’ll forget he existed one month from now. It’s much better to focus on yourself and relax. Don’t fantasize about him, let him show you if he’s what you want.

Sus consejos sobre citas ayudaron a muchos.

A lot of women in her comments said she read them like an open book and they found this video very helpful. Some even admitted it wasn’t easy to come clean about this problem:

“This was hard for me to hear… it’s was only 3 wks and he already ghosted me. It’s been really really draining.”

Otra chica lamenta no haber escuchado este consejo a tiempo:

“I wish I would have seen this before he friend-zoned me then ghosted me after 5 weeks. He was a gentleman but now I wonder if he was talking to someone else.

They’re not the only ones who have been enlightened. I have to admit este entrenador de citas también me ayudó. After implementing everything she talked about, I’ve experienced a huge change!

Ya no tengo ansiedad y me siento más relajado y confiado. I try to be open to everything and don’t make any conclusions ahead of time. So definitely try it out and you’ll be thankful to Shahrzad for sharing her wisdom!