Cómo superar tu primer amor: 13 pasos para el éxito

¿Cómo se supera la primer amor? Esta es la pregunta a la que todos hemos querido responder al menos una vez en la vida. 

Podría ser el primera persona salimos en instituto como 16 añosalguien con quien compartimos primer beso con, el primera persona we said “Te quiero” to, or that special someone we thought was our alma gemela. Sea quien sea, perder su primer novio o novia nunca es fácil. 

If this is something you’re dealing with right now, we have a solution to your problem. Here are 13 steps to follow if you’re trying to figure out how to get over your primer amor de la forma más sana posible. 

1. Accept that it’s the end

El paso inicial para superar su primer desengaño amoroso es convéncete a ti mismo it’s really over. You can’t expect to olvidarlos and to kick them out of your heart if you keep hoping that they’ll come back to you and that things will be the way they used to be. 

That is exactly what many people do when they first break up: they’re in denial and refuse to face the harsh reality. 

I know it’s easier to keep on pretending that nothing has changed than look at the truth and the pain in your eyes, but you simply have to do it sooner or later, if you want any progress, and it’s definitely better to do it right away than to give yourself more false hope. 

Destiny won’t magically bring you and your ex together (and even if it does, it would never be the same), this is not a phase or a test every relationship goes through. This is it-this is the end and the final goodbye. 

Así, en lugar de poner su toda la vida en espera mientras espera pacientemente a que este una persona volver, invierte toda tu energía en superarlos. 

2. Deja de ver tu ruptura como el fin del mundo

Esto es otra cosa que le ocurre a la mayoría de la gente después de su primer desengaño amoroso: they think it’s the end of the world and that they won’t recover in un millón años. Esta es su primera experiencia when it comes to this type of emotional pain, it hits you right in the guts and it is perfectly natural that you don’t know how to handle it. 

At first, you think you’ll die. Your life is over and everything besides this person is pointless. 

However, this is far from the truth. The Earth will keep on spinning even though you’ve lost someone you love and you will continue living, even though it doesn’t seem that way now. 

Por favor, deja de ser tan pesimista. Las primeras relaciones terminan, people grow apart and it’s up to you to accept this as a part of life-nothing more and nothing less.

Besides, I won’t lie to you-these things will continue happening. You’ll make mistakes in love and you will be heartbroken again but the difference is, the next time it happens, you’ll know you’ll sobrevivir. 

3. Deja de idealizar tu primer amor

If you want the answer to the question: “Cómo superar mi primer amor?” it is actually pretty simple: you just have to stop romanticizing it. 

¿Qué hace que primeros amores tan difícil de superar es el hecho de que la gente tiende a idealizarlo, ya que es su primera experiencia cuando se trata de romance. 

¿Cuántas veces has oído decir a alguien que en realidad nunca se olvida la primera persona you ever loved? That you’ll forever remember your primer beso y primera experiencia con el sexo opuesto?

¿Cuántas películas has visto sobre gente que reaviva su instituto romances cuando envejezcan?

You might not be aware of this but we’re surrounded by the cult of primer amor. Todo el mundo la considera la forma más pura, limpia e intensa de conexión romántica. 

However, it’s about time for you to break that myth. 

Déjame decirte algo: los sentimientos que tienes por tu primer amor only seem to be the strongest simply because you’ve never experienced anything similar. You give yourself entirely to the other person just because you still haven’t learned to be careful about the way you open your heart to others. 

En primera vez you break up with someone seems to be the most painful because you still haven’t had the chance to learn how to process it. 

Therefore, there is nothing special about first romance. It’s actually just like any other relationship you’ll have during your lifetime. 

De hecho, el último es el ¡eso cuenta!

4. No tener contacto

After you’ve sorted out the basics in your head, it’s time for some radical moves. The first step towards your complete healing is going completely no contact with your ex.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the no contact rule: you block your ex’s number, unfriend and unfollow them on all redes sociales,  y detener cualquier tipo de comunicación con ellos. La gente suele seguir esta regla para hacer sentir a su ex su ausencia y recuperarlo.

However, even though you’ll stick to the norma de no contacto, you won’t do it for these purposes. Instead, you’ll do it because it’s the only way to kick your ex both out of your life and heart. 

Sí, seguir siendo amigos después de una relación larga y comprometida es algo agradable y civilizado. Sin embargo, solo es posible en los casos en que ambos seáis completamente indiferentes el uno hacia el otro y no os queden sentimientos románticos. 

Por otro lado, en cuanto empieces a intentar averiguar cómo superar tu primer amor, it becomes more than apparent that you haven’t gotten over your ex. Therefore, the last thing you should be doing is tormenting yourself and pretending you can be mejores amigos just to “do the right thing”. 

5. Cut all ties with “their people”

Many people don’t know this but there is a difference between going fully no contact and cutting all ties with your relación anterior. However, let’s be real here: is there any point in you finishing all communication with your ex if you’ll continue doing some other things to be around them?

Sí, esto puede ser efectivo si tu objetivo es hacer que miedo de perderte and if you just want for them to think that you’ve moved on. 

However, if you really want to get over this person, you won’t care what they think-what will be important is how you feel and if you’re making any actual progress. 

That’s why your life has to stop revolving around this person. First of all, cut ties with their friends and family. I know that this is quite difficult, especially if we’re talking about some mutual friends you also love and who are important to you. 

On the other hand, when it comes to your ex’s family, you are probably too shy to start avoiding them or to block them everywhere because you don’t want to appear rude. After all, none of these people has ever done you any harm and it’s not fair for them to pay the consequences for your ex’s action. 

However, this is not about them-it’s about you. You have to find a way to make yourself feel better and this an amazing starting point.

Besides, this doesn’t mean that you have to erase these people from your life permanently. You can just explain the situation, ask them to understand and to give you some time, and I’m sure most of them will. 

6. Limita el tiempo que pasas pensando en ellos

So, you’ve physically removed your ex and everyone who reminded you of them. You’ve narrowed down the people you can talk to about them, but despite that, this person is still constantly present in the back of your mind. 

The worst part is that you’ve started thinking that there is nothing more you can do about it. 

You’ve stopped going to places where you know you could meet them, you’ve cut ties with everyone they know, you’re not reaching out to them, you’re not stalking their profiles, you’re not asking around about them…

But despite all of this, it looks like you’re not going anywhere. This person is still el piensas de sol a sol y, naturalmente, te sientes impotente al respecto. 

Well, the trick is in limiting the time you’re allowed to think about your ex. Of course, it would be ideal if you could just snap your fingers and deja de pensar en ellos. 

However, since that is impossible, it would be great if you could begin with some baby steps. For starters, give yourself let’s say half an hour a day when this person is allowed to exist in your brain.

Cada vez que pienses en ellos fuera de este plazo, recuérdate tu decisión y deja tus pensamientos para más tarde. Por supuesto, deberías ir reduciendo este tiempo con cada día o semana que pase. 

7. Tener esperanza 

Whenever you’re going through a tough time in your life, including the breakup of your primera relación, the crucial thing is to not lose hope. Instead, try to be optimistic and to have faith in a better tomorrow, no matter the problems you’re facing. 

Esto es muy importante cuando se trata de superar su primer amor verdadero también. No importa cómo te sientas ahora, tienes que ser consciente de que volverás a amar y de que la persona adecuada vendrá.

Whether you believe it or not, someone will come along who you’ll love more than you loved your ex. 

Alguien que curará tu corazón roto and help you raise you from the ashes; someone who will make you forget all of this pain you’re facing now and who will help you leave all of it in the past, where it belongs. 

I know that hearing this now makes you think that I’m just trying to comfort you and make you feel better but it really is the truth and you have to put all of your strength into believing it. 

Su nueva vida awaits you and sooner or later, this will be nothing but a distant memory. In fact, you’ll remember your first amor verdadero con una sonrisa en la cara y nada más. 

8. Centrarse en el autocuidado

Este es el momento en el que tienes que centrarte en autocuidado primero. Para un un par de años...amaste a esta persona con todo tu corazón y le diste... primer puesto en tu vida y ahora tienes que aprender a romper ese ciclo. 

Quizá cambiaste para adaptarte mejor a ellos. Tal vez perdiste la persona que solías ser pero ahora es el momento de recuperar tu autoestima y encontrarte a ti mismo de nuevo.

Instead of wasting entire days on thinking about your ex, focus on self-improvement. Work on your appearance, intellect, emotions, career…whatever helps.

The bottom line is that you should invest your energy into becoming the person you’re destined to be. Work on personal progress, do all the things you’ve always wanted to do and please all of your heart’s deepest desires. 

Date un capricho, mejora tu autoestimaPráctica autocuidado, y haz todo lo que puedas para ser feliz porque nadie lo hará por ti. 

9. Pedir ayuda

Listen carefully: there is no shame in admitting that you can’t handle some life situations on your own and that you could use a hand while going through them. 

No, this doesn’t apply just to things like the death of a amado, a divorce, or job loss-you’re allowed to grieve someone who is still alive and over the desamor su primera relación izquierda.

You have the right to feel the way you do and nobody can tell you that your suffering makes you weak, immature, or that it’s irrelevant. 

En primer lugar, intente pedir ayuda a su mejores amigos y familiares. Es probable que la mayoría de las personas de tu entorno ya hayan pasado por la misma situación en el pasado, por lo que su valiosa experiencia puede servirte sin duda de consejo. 

I’m not saying that you should blindly follow their patterns of behavior, since we all heal in a different manner and at a different pace, but what you can do is look up to them. Besides, other people’s stories will make you see that everyone gets over every possible pain, sooner or later. 

If this doesn’t help, don’t be embarrassed to look for professional help. Go talk to an expert who will give you the push you need to start rationalizing things and to begin your healing process in a healthy way. 

10. Aprende de tu relación

En lugar de ver esta ruptura como lo peor que te podía haber pasado, intenta observar todo lo ocurrido desde una perspectiva diferente. 

En primer lugar, su relación amorosa wasn’t all cosas malas-it had its beautiful moments. Please don’t allow those moments to be wiped from your memory and for all the cosas malas que ha pasado últimamente para borrarlos. 

No importa cómo terminara, seguía teniendo su valor y eso una persona con la que saliste durante tanto tiempo merece permanecer en tu memoria. Sí, se acabó, pero fue bonito mientras duró. 

Secondly, if you’re wise, you’ll use your failed romance as a tough but valuable lesson. It will help you learn about love, about the opposite sex, about life and relationships, and most importantly-about yourself. 

Considérelo una oportunidad para observar su patrones de citas tóxicas. ¿Cuáles fueron tus errores durante esta relación? 

What are the things you’re looking for and los you won’t tolerate again? What is your preferable type of partner and what are your deal breakers? 

¿Cómo puede esto ayudarle a encontrar el persona adecuada? 

Out of all the lessons your break up can teach you, this one is crucial: you don’t need anyone to survive-you just have to convéncete a ti mismo of that. After all, for all this time, you were convinced that you couldn’t make it without your partner and that you would die if they left your side. 

However, there you are, safe and sound. Yes, you’re going through your primer desengaño amoroso but what matters is that you’re still whole and complete. 

So, I guess you’re way stronger than you assumed. 

11. Don’t rush yourself into a new relationship

Asking for advice from your loved ones doesn’t mean that you should go against your heart’s desires. This especially applies to the situation when everyone tells you to fight fire with fire and that the best way to forget your ex is to get yourself involved into a new, relación amorosa ASAP – like that’s a piece of cake. 

Even though there is nothing wrong with falling in love again, please don’t force yourself into doing anything you’re not ready for. Don’t rush yourself into a nueva relación porque eso sólo hará que te sientas peor que antes. 

Además de dar su carga emocional de su relación anterior la oportunidad de arruinar tu nuevo comienzoNo hay forma de que tenga éxito si lo empiezas por las razones equivocadas. Al fin y al cabo, nadie merece ser tu punto de sutura: sería injusto que arrastraras a una tercera persona a tu montaña rusa emocional. 

It doesn’t matter that you have broken off for good with your ex-you still have some unresolved issues with yourself and that is not fruitful soil for a new healthy romance. 

12. Pero ábrete a nuevos amores

Sin embargo, hay una diferencia entre ponerse en guardia y condenarse a una vida sin amor y no saltar de una relación a otra. No tiene ningún sentido huir de un amor potencial y este tipo de enfoque puede causarte mucho más daño del que crees.

Therefore, if love knocks on your door, don’t push it away. Be careful but embrace it openly. 

Don’t get me wrong-I’m not here to promise you that you’ll never get your heart broken again. The truth is that there is no way to protect yourself from that possibility. 

Sí, el amor siempre es un riesgo. Sin embargo, es un riesgo que merece la pena correr. 

Otra cosa a la que debes prestar atención es a no comparar a otras personas de tu vida con tu ex. 

To be honest: I don’t know which is worse: thinking that they were the best and rejecting potential partners because they’re not your primer novio o novia, o estar convencido de que todo el mundo te hará daño como lo hizo tu ex. 

Either way, by doing any of these things, you’re only giving them power over you. You’ll sabotage your nueva vida and future relationships right from the start if you’re looking for your ex’s replacement. 

13. Date tiempo para curarte

Sí, todo esto se trata de superar tu relación anterior and moving on. However, in order to know the answer to the question: “Cómo superar mi primer amor?”, you have to fix your corazón roto. 

Healing is a process which takes time, devotion, and energy. So, please don’t expect it to be done overnight. 

No, I’m not saying that you should dedicate your toda la vida to this person and that you should allow yourself to grieve over them for the rest of eternity. However, you can’t repress your emotions and pretend that everything is in perfect order either. 

A good idea would be to set yourself a deadline. Mark a certain date on your calendar and allow yourself to suffer up to then. Then, when that date comes, you’re no longer allowed to think or talk about that person. No, you won’t be completely healed then either, but you will have made significant progress and you’ll have the answer to the question: “How do you get over your primer amor“?