6 duros recordatorios para que entres en razón cuando él se niega a ser exclusivo

¿Alguna vez te has liado con un tío que no tiene la decencia de elegirte de verdad, a pesar de todo lo que habéis pasado juntos, todo el tiempo que habéis pasado juntos y todo lo que le has dado?

¿Alguna vez te has enganchado a un hombre que can’t make up his mind about you y sigue poniendo excusas para evitar poner una etiqueta oficial a su relación?

If you have, this one’s for you. It is for all the girls who need their eyes opened and to be faced with the harsh reality of their almost relationships. 

1. You shouldn’t be anyone’s option

First and foremost, what you need to know is that you should either be with a man who treats you like his first and only choice or you shouldn’t have a boyfriend at all.

El peor escenario posible es ser uno de estos man’s options. 

You shouldn’t compete with anyone. To be in a situation where he likes you more than other girls he’s seeing is not something you should be content with, because these girls shouldn’t even exist.

You shouldn’t compete to win the first place in his life because there shouldn’t be any other places to begin with. 

Even though you fail to see it now, you’re worth so much more than being merely one of the women this guy is involved with. He is not some kind of a trophy you should run for.

Instead, what you need is a man who has his eyes for you only. A man who wouldn’t be with anyone else even if he loses you and doesn’t even notice other women, let alone have anything to do with them.

Everything else is bullshit and settling for less. I know that looking at things from your point of view, all of this seems unrealistic, but trust me, you shouldn’t accept anything other than this kind of treatment. 

2. He’s not the only man in the world

When you’ve been in love with one guy for a long period of time, he becomes the centre of your world.

For you, no other man exists and you couldn’t picture yourself next to anyone else. 

Well, this is where you’re wrong. Even though you don’t see it now, there are many other better men in the world who are luckily nowhere near this douchebag. 

Hay un hombre ahí fuera que te tratará como a una princesa, que es la única forma en que mereces ser tratada.

Un hombre que no tenga dudas sobre ti, que nunca te haga cuestionar tu valía y que te entregue todo su corazón, sin guardarse ninguna parte. 

However, you can’t meet this man as long as you’re fully focused on this asshole, can you?

You can’t give a nice guy like this a chance to approach you while you keep on giving all of your energy away to someone who doesn’t give a damn about you.

The worst part is that this guy we’re talking about knows all of this.

He knows that you’re completely faithful to him, even though he hasn’t given you the title of his girlfriend, and he is very well aware that you’re not going anywhere, despite his awful behavior.

Well, let me open your eyes and tell you that nothing will change as long as he is certain that you’ll be there patiently waiting for him to make up his mind about you.

And while I’m not saying that you should drag someone third in your rollercoaster just to dale celos y para probar un punto, por favor, al menos trata de ponerte en la piscina de citas.

No, don’t go looking for a rebound; don’t force yourself for something you’re not ready for.

Simplemente amplía tus horizontes y al menos dale a otros hombres la oportunidad de conocerte y mostrarte lo que tienen que ofrecerte, en lugar de perder más tiempo esperando algo que nunca llegará.  

3. You’re allowing him to treat you this way

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not claiming that you’re to blame for everything that is going on in your almost relationship.

In fact, you’re the victim here and your casi novio es un gilipollas que te está engañando conscientemente y jugando contigo. 

However, you have to admit that you’re the one who is letting him get away with everything he’s doing.

You’re the one who is allowing him to treat you this way and the one who never made him suffer the consequences of his actions.

You see, every time you take this guy back, fall for his lies and empty promises, and give him a little more time, you’re actually telling him that you’re perfectly fine with being in this position.

Every time you decide to wait for him to make up his mind and hand him another chance, you’re giving him a green light to keep up with the good work and to continue with his toxic behavior patterns. 

Because if you were so hurt by his actions, you would have walked away on him ages ago, wouldn’t you?

If you’re so bothered by the things he’s doing and if this relationship has been making you so miserable, you wouldn’t have remained in it for a minute longer, right? 

On the other hand, you and I both know that you’re heartbroken and unhappy.

You’re aware of all the pain that this entire situationship has been causing you and of the hell it turned your life into.

So, why don’t you change something about it, instead of just complaining in vain?

Why don’t you actually do something to make a difference in your life, instead of blabbing empty words? 

Trust me, he won’t take you seriously as long as you threaten to leave him but keep on staying right where you are. 

4. He doesn’t care for you enough

Let’s be straight here: this guy is not emotionally unavailable, this is not the wrong timing, he doesn’t carry past traumas that prevent him from having a healthy relationship.

And this is not his weird and unique way of showing love. In fact, these are all excuses you and women in similar situations to yours use to justify the douchebags they’re involved in.

La única verdad es que this man is an asshole who won’t change ni en un millón de años.

As much as this hurts to admit, the fact is that he doesn’t love you, never did, and never will.

At least, he doesn’t love you enough to make you his girlfriend.

He might like you or care for you to a certain extent, but he doesn’t care about you the way men care about women they want to be in a relationship with. 

You see, when a guy loves you, he never second guesses you. He doesn’t treat you like one of his options, put you on hold, and lead you on for ages. 

Cuando un el hombre te ama de verdad, se asegura de que lo sepas y aprovecha todas las oportunidades posibles para demostrártelo.

He doesn’t need time to make a decision and he labels your relationship right from the start.

Todo lo demás son excusas vacías. 

So please, stop lying to yourself and face the painful reality, as much as it hurts. I know it’s difficult, but trust me, it’s way better to do it now before it becomes too late. 

Después de todo, puede que te resulte más fácil olvidarle cuando empieces a ver las cosas como son realmente.

Esta toma de conciencia puede ayudarle a perder todas sus esperanzas y servirle como punto de partida en su proceso de seguir adelante. 

5. Las otras chicas no tienen la culpa

When the guy they’re in love keeps on texting or seeing other girls, many women have the habit of blaming those girls for their misfortune. This is actually not so surprising.

It is much easier to accuse all those other women for hitting on their man who was innocent enough to fall into their trap than to admit that their partner doesn’t respect them enough to be loyal and faithful.

If this is something you can relate to, it’s about time to stop.

Other women are not guilty for what your boyfriend is doing because they didn’t force him into sleeping with them and he is not a little boy who can be manipulated into doing something he doesn’t want to.

Además, aunque estas chicas supieran que existes, no te deben nada.

However, he does and it is his job to appreciate your emotions and everything you’ve given him – not theirs. 

This is especially the case if you find yourself in a situation where this guy finds an actual girlfriend after dragging you along for months, trying to convince you that he doesn’t want anything serious.

If this happens, don’t call this woman names and don’t seek revenge on her: it is more than obvious that he wasn’t ready para una relación contigo, por no hablar de cualquier relación en absoluto. 

Bummer, I know. However, it is the only truth and you’ll just have to find a way to deal with it the best way you can. 

6. It’s better to be single than in a half-relationship

If you’re one of those girls who is scared of ending up all by herself, let me tell you that it is always better to be single than in a relationship that is everything but that.

Don’t accept crumbs of anyone’s love and attention because you think you wouldn’t make it on your own. 

No, rare moments of this guy’s affection, cuddling, steamy sex, and good morning texts he sends you every now and then, together with the misleading sense of familiarity he gives you, are not worthy of all the problems this man brings along. 

Trust me, you don’t need problemas de pareja with someone you’re not in a relationship with.

You shouldn’t be wasting any more time being all faithful to a dude who is out there living the life of a bachelor. 

You shouldn’t be next to someone who is making you unhappy.

En lugar de eso, toma la vida en tus manos y sácale el máximo partido, porque estar soltero siempre es mejor que estar en una relación de medio pelo.