Cuarta cita: los 10 mejores consejos y trucos para planificarla con éxito

4ª Fecha Significado

Para mucha gente, el tercera cita is the charm, right? It is the date on which the “something more” usually happens – the date everyone thinks they should pay attention to.

However, according to some of the best dating experts, date number four is actually the crucial one, even though it’s seriously underrated.

En la primera, segunda y tercera cita, usted y su posible pareja ya han alcanzado cierto nivel, por lo que ahora se sienten lo suficientemente cómodos para abordar temas más serios y pueden determinar el futuro de su relación.

Basically, the 4th date can impact the rest of your relationship and whether things between you and this other person will even keep on going or not. Well, that’s why we’re here – to assist you by giving you the most useful pieces of advice for this crucial date, which will help you do everything right.

10 consejos y trucos para una cuarta cita

There are some tips and tricks that’ll help you prepare yourself for this significant evening, if you just follow them carefully. Here are 10 of them:

Stop jugando duro

Let’s face it, a lot of people have a habit of playing some mind games in the beginning of a new relationship with someone.

And that’s not something you should be ashamed of – as long as you don’t exaggerate and have good intentions.

When you go out on a first date with a new person, it’s natural for you to examine the field before letting yourself go all the way in.

Lo último que quieres es parecer demasiado desesperado y disponible, así que finge tener más de una opción abierta.

De este modo, pretende hacerse más interesante para su pareja potencial; quiere que luche más por usted.

Sin embargo, según la mayoría de los consejos para citas, la 4ª cita es el momento en el que deberías poner fin a esto y dejar de hacerte el duro.

It’s more than obvious that the other person is interested in you, so there’s no point in pretending not to give a damn about them.

In fact, this kind of behavior might just chase your potential partner away. They’ll think of you as an immature brat who doesn’t know what they want and probably run for the hills.

En cambio, la cuarta cita es la fecha en la que debes ser más directo sobre tus sentimientos y emociones.

It doesn’t matter whether you’re male or female – this is the time for you to show initiative.

But don’t be too pushy either

Sin embargo, ser demasiado exigente o demasiado insistente también puede ser contraproducente.

I know that you’re probably head over heels for this obviously special person and that you want them to know this badly, but you don’t want to scare them away with your behavior either.

Always keep in mind that there’s a possibility of them not feeling the same way or not being attracted to you with the same intensity, so make sure to hold back a notch.

It’s crucial to find some balance: Be open about your desires but don’t act too desperate.

Use your body language to show the other person you like them, or simply tell them you’re into them and would like for this situaciones para convertirse en una relación en el futuro.

That said, avoid big love declarations and grand romantic gestures because you’ll just look like an inexperienced creep who falls desperately in love after only three dates.

Sigue el consejo para citas que te aconseja ser franco sobre tus emociones pero no tan abierto sobre su intensidad.

Be clear about your intentions and wishes, but don’t make the other person feel like you’re forcing them to accept whatever arrangement you had planned.

What’s important is to pay close attention to everything the other person is telling and not telling you.

Observe the signals they’re sending you and try to figure out whether they like you back enough to try something more.

Respect their personal boundaries and don’t invade their space unless you see they’re comfortable with it. Don’t be too shy yet don’t push them beyond their limits either.

Etiquetar cosas

Hasta ahora, la mayor parte de la conversación entre usted y esta persona ha sido una charla trivial. Probablemente hayáis hablado del tiempo o compartido información básica sobre el otro.

Sin embargo, ahora es el momento de pasar al siguiente nivel. Esta es la fecha en la que debes decidir sobre la dirección que va a tomar tu relación, si quieres saber a qué atenerte en el futuro.

¿Sois exclusivos y ambos queréis una relación seria? ¿O estáis viendo a otras personas y esto es sólo un rollo?

If you’re someone who isn’t into casual hookups and meaningless affairs, and are looking for something serious, this is the time to come clean about it.

Don’t worry, you won’t appear as demasiado necesitado o patético por hablar de sus actitudes y principios sin rodeos.

Instead, the other person will see that you’re not someone they can play with as they please.

They’ll see that you know what you want from life and aren’t afraid to get it. And that is something everyone appreciates and respects.

Of course, you shouldn’t give an ultimatum directly or threaten to break up with them before actually starting anything, but you’ll make things pretty clear and see whether they want the same by the direction of the conversation.

Si ambos estáis interesados en oficializarlo y convertirlo en una relación etiquetada, ahora es el momento de establecer algunas reglas básicas.

Don’t make this entire conversation feel like a business arrangement. Simply talk about both of your preferences: what type of relationships you enjoy, what things you tolerate in a relationship, your most important dealbreakers…

Of course, nobody can predict the future and guarantee that you two will succeed, but having this kind of conversation can give you a bigger picture and help you realize whether or not you’re compatible.

It’s possible that you both, for example, want a relationship but define a serious relationship differently.

Or maybe you just have completely opposite views when it comes to romance in general and conclude that you’re not cut for each other, despite the strong vibe and chemistry that clearly exists.

Hacerlo menos formal

When you meet someone new, you want to leave the best possible impression – there’s nothing unusual about that.

It’s not that you’re pretending to be someone you’re actually not, you’re just wrapping your imperfections in a shiny paper and showing them the best version of your personality.

Sin embargo, al llegar a la 4ª cita, es hora de empezar a quitarse las máscaras y mostrar la versión más real de uno mismo.

Be more relaxed and show this person you’re comfortable around them.

Actually, the entire fourth date doesn’t have to be as formal as the first date, segunda cita o una tercera cita.

You don’t have to necessarily end things with a fancy dinner; you two can take a walk in the park in your sweatpants or even hit the pool.

Al fin y al cabo, si es la persona con la que planeas iniciar una relación, también tiene que conocer tus defectos.

On the other hand, if you still don’t feel comfortable enough around them, it may be a bandera roja and bad sign that something isn’t working.

You see, we all feel nervous when we’re meeting someone new.

Prestamos especial atención a cada pequeño detalle de nuestro comportamiento y a veces incluso ocultamos inconscientemente algunos de nuestros rasgos.

No obstante, esta incomodidad debería desaparecer en la fecha número cuatro.

By now, you guys should be more relaxed in front of each other because you’ve already been hanging out for some time and the tense atmosphere should be a thing of the past.

But don’t relax too much

However, what a lot of people don’t know is that this doesn’t mean that now you’re allowed to let yourself loose completely.

Yes, they should see that you’re only human, but let them discover your personality layer by layer; don’t reveal your dirtiest secrets right away.

Naturally, this doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable to, for example, fart or be rude in any other way on the fourth date.

Despite everything, it’s still your job to put an effort into at least being decent-looking and showing some basic manners.

Don’t spend the entire evening texting someone else, don’t be late, and don’t do anything else which might be seen as a sign of disrespect towards your date.

Don’t talk about sex too much and don’t make dirty jokes or inappropriate comments.

La 4ª cita no es una oportunidad para comportarse a su antojo o empezar a decir tonterías y lo primero que se le ocurra en voz alta.

Recuerda: aún tienes mucho trabajo por delante para ganarte a esta persona.

Así que si consideras que tu trabajo está hecho sólo porque habéis llegado a la cuarta cita, ¡piénsatelo otra vez y ponte las pilas!

Lo último que quieres es que piensen que les has estado engañando todo el tiempo y que has esperado hasta la cuarta cita para mostrar tu verdadera cara.

What could be even worse is your date thinking that you’ve started dándolas por sentadas en esta primera fase de la relación, lo que sin duda desanimaría a cualquiera.

Pregunte a algunos preguntas profundas

Según la mayoría de las reglas de las citas, la cita número cuatro es en la que tus conversaciones deben volverse más serias.

It’s not enough to spend the entire time casually hanging out, talking about your hobbies, everyday activities, and preferences anymore.

Now’s the time to take things to the next level – to dig a little deeper and start asking more personal questions, which will help you get to the bottom of this person sitting next to you.

¿Quiénes son en realidad, debajo de toda esa ropa y educación?

¿Cómo fue su infancia? ¿Cómo les formó?

What’s their family like? Are they close or just on decent terms?

What’s their dream job? Are they content with the current state of their career or do they hope to make some crucial difference?

¿Quiénes son sus mejores amigos? ¿Qué significa para ellos la amistad y cuánto están dispuestos a sacrificar por ella?

What are your date’s life goals and plans for the future? What are their biggest aspirations, desires and ambitions?

¿Cuáles son sus sueños más salvajes y sus miedos más profundos?

What’s the one thing they like about themselves the most and the thing they’d change about their appearance or personality, if they had the chance to?

¿A quién admiran y por qué? ¿Qué cualidades humanas aprecian más?

You don’t have to bomb them with each one of these fourth date questions right away.

After all, you don’t want this date to turn into a business interview or a police interrogation.

Sin embargo, debe ser lo suficientemente hábil como para incorporar al menos algunas de estas preguntas en sus conversaciones, si quiere conocer mejor a su posible pareja.

Cada respuesta puede darte una idea más clara de su personalidad y ayudarte a crear un vínculo más profundo entre vosotros.

Además, puedes saber mucho de esa persona por la forma en que reacciona a tus preguntas.

¿Están completamente abiertos y deseosos de darte las respuestas, o cambian de tema en cuanto las cosas se vuelven demasiado personales?

Are they the type who doesn’t mind sharing details of their life with you? Do they trust you enough to let you all the way in?

Or does it appear as if they’re hiding something? Does it seem that they’ve built thick walls around them and don’t plan on allowing anyone to tear them down?

When it comes to this meaningful conversation, it’s up to you not to be too nosy.

Show interest in their personality, but if you see that they’d rather avoid some topics, respect their privacy and don’t push them into talking about something they wish to keep for themselves.

No es obligatorio dormir juntos

Casi todos los mejores expertos en citas te dirán que la 4ª cita es importante.

And I’m not talking about defining things here only, but about the fact that this is the date on which most couples have sex together for the first time.

However, please don’t forget that you’re never mandated to do anything you’re not 100% comfortable doing and sure about.

Besides, just because most people tend to do something in a certain period of time, it doesn’t make it a fourth date norma de fechas you’re obligated to blindly obey.

Don’t feel as if you’re leading the other person on, even if you two made out the on the third date or have been texting about it but now you still don’t want to get laid.

All of us have a different pace when it comes to these things and nobody is allowed to tell for how long it’s okay to wait.

Olvídate de tener relaciones sexuales just to please the other person and sleeping with them because you’re afraid of appearing old-fashioned.

If you see that they’re insisting (which can be considered a red flag) or if they just ask you to their place, be honest and ask them to wait.

Respect your boundaries and demand your partner to do the same. And if they refuse, it only means they’re not the one for you.

Pero si quieres tener sexo, hazlo.

However, if you both feel like having sex, go for it. Don’t be scared of being too easy.

Don’t think about who will make the first move. Just follow your gut.

Nevertheless, don’t allow the physical attraction and the chemistry to be the only criteria, especially if you plan to keep on seeing this person.

Is this someone you’d also enjoy cuddling and waking up next to the morning after?

¿Se aprovechan de ti sólo para métete en tus pantalones? ¿Lo haces porque lo ves como una forma de mantenerlos a tu lado?

Una vez que hayas reflexionado sobre todos estos aspectos y decidido que practicar sexo es la opción correcta, intenta percibir su vibración y estate atento a su lenguaje corporal. ¿Parece tener el mismo deseo que tú?

When you two hook up, make sure you’re not selfish in bed and pay attention to their needs as well.

However, don’t be scared to point out the things you’d enjoy being done differently – don’t forget about your pleasure either.

Also, remember that this is your first time together, so don’t expect perfection. It’s possible that you two may be clumsy or too nervous, and if that happens, don’t see it as a bad sign. Don’t write them off immediately; keep on trying until you make things better.

Cuando se trata de su lado pervertido, don’t reveal your deepest fantasies right away.

En lugar de eso, comprueba vuestra compatibilidad sexual e intenta averiguar poco a poco si os gustan cosas parecidas en el dormitorio.

Lo más importante es seguir tus instintos e intentar no pensar demasiado cuando tomes esta decisión.

Esfuérzate al máximo para que esta experiencia sea lo más agradable posible para ambos.

Hablen de sus historias románticas

Entre otras cosas, la 4ª cita es también el momento en que una pareja suele iniciar la conversación sobre su pasado amoroso.

If you two talk about entering a new relationship, it’s natural to also speak about your romantic histories because they can reveal a lot about the way someone is as a partner.

This doesn’t mean that you have to go into the deepest details of your past relationships. This date shouldn’t be about your exes.

However, it’s good to know how long their most important relationships lasted, the most common reasons for their breakups and the type of people they dated in the past.

Cuándo fue la última vez que ambos mantuvieron una relación real y cómo terminó.

¿Tienen la costumbre de seguir siendo amigos de sus ex o suelen cortar todos los lazos? ¿Son celosos?

¿Suelen ser ellos los que dan el primer paso o esperan que la otra persona haga la mayor parte del trabajo?

Besides helping you find out more about your date, these questions can also be a way for you to see whether you’re dealing with someone who has carga emocional que podría arruinar vuestra potencial relación.

¿Realmente han roto todos los lazos con su pasado o en realidad no eres más que un rebote?

Is there a special ex you should feel intimidated by? Do they have some regrets regarding their past and how did it shape them into becoming the people they’re today?

Cuando tengas que hablar de tus relaciones anteriores, asegúrate de dar sólo la información necesaria.

You don’t want your date to assume you miss your ex and can’t help but go on and on about them.

Also, don’t talk trash about your past partners and don’t mention any personal details about their lives.

Remember that these were your choices and therefore, if you spit on them, you’d be spitting on yourself too.

Que sea una cita divertida

Y lo que es más importante, asegúrate de que ésta y cualquier otra velada sea una cita divertida.

Yes, consider it important, as it really is, but don’t spend the entire evening analyzing your partner’s every word and move.

Si necesitas algunos consejos e ideas para la cuarta cita, piensa en todo lo que has averiguado hasta ahora sobre tu pareja.

If you can’t think of anything and you’ve met through Tinder, Bumble or some other online dating app, go back to their dating profile to remind yourself of their preferences and interests, and that’ll definitely help you plan a good date.

Sea cual sea la idea que elijas para la cuarta cita, asegúrate de que sea una actividad más larga y, si es posible, organiza que tu pareja y tú paséis todo el día juntos.

Por ejemplo, hacer un viaje por carretera o idear una serie de citas que duren todo el día.