¿Enamorada de un hombre casado? 8 duras verdades que debes escuchar
So, you’re in love with a married man.
Por muy convencida que estuvieras de que nunca podrías enamorarte de un hombre casado y a pesar del respeto que sientes por una unión matrimonial, sucedió de todos modos.
I’m sure you’re already aware of how wrong this affair is and in how many ways this new relationship could go south.
Pero esta es una historia tan antigua como el tiempo.
Falling in love comes naturally to all humans, and sometimes you end up developing feelings you shouldn’t for a married person.
There isn’t a part of the world or a culture where it hasn’t happened and, as much as it hurts so many people, it’s all too common in its occurrence.
Especially if this is the first time you’ve engaged in such a complex scenario and you’re scared and disappointed in yourself for not trying harder to find a healthy relationship with a man who’s actually available.
I’m not going to pretend that I understand or am privy to the ins and outs of your relación amorosa con un hombre casado.
I’m not going to sit here and judge you for choosing to ignore your amado‘s estado civil para seguir amándole en secreto.
Pero yo soy va a inculcarte algunas palabras de sabiduría, por el bien de tu autoestima y tu bienestar.
Mi intención no es romper tu relación ilícita, sino servirte algunas verdades duras sobre tu hombre casado que tu enamoramiento te está prohibiendo ver.
Regardless of how you two crossed paths, there’s only one way this is likely to end.
And it’s not ideal.
Puede que fuerais los mejores amigos del instituto, o que os conocierais en las redes sociales, a través de citas online o mensajes de texto.
Anyone of these doesn’t justify the nature of your relationship, although it’s understandable how easy it can be to fall in love with a married woman (or man) when experiencing relationship problems.
You got tired of going through the same thing with those toxic losers day in and day out and you needed something better – something full time.
Meaningless hookups aren’t your thing anymore and you simply need a hombre...no un niño.
You’ve been on numerous dating sites which led to a bunch of potential boyfriends, and they all ended up being not good for you.
Y entonces tropezaste con él.
Véase también: Cómo poner fin a un romance con integridad y ayudarle a dejarlo para siempre
You didn’t plan it. It sort of just happened and you were just as surprised as anyone else would be.
Con este tipo, simplemente hiciste clic.
No había señales de alarma (evidentes), incluso te dijo que te quería (y sabías que lo decía en serio).
Te trataron con amor, cariño y devoción y, al fin y al cabo, ¿qué más puede pedir una chica?
Después de tu última ruptura, este chico fue un soplo de aire fresco.
He showed you how it feels to be in a healthy relationship (or so you thought…) and never once did it occur to you that he was having a physical and emotional affair with anyone other than you.
Fast forward to now: You’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. You don’t want to be caught in the middle of this.
You don’t want to be in love with a married man. This is not you.
But now, you’re here and you need to find a way to get out of this situation without causing any further damage.
Yet… You just can’t help but ask yourself: How did he have so much free time to spend with you if he’s got a wife?
¿Dónde estaba él durante todas tus llamadas nocturnas? ¿Todos los hombres engañan?
Véase también: ¿Extrañan los hombres casados a sus amantes? 7 razones
There are so many conflicting emotions that are plaguing your mind right now and you’re in desperate need of good consejos sobre relaciones.
¿Deberías poner fin a este romance de casi un año?
¿Puedes imaginarte verle cara a cara sin dejar que su encanto te desarme una vez más?
¿Por qué a veces enamorarse es tan insoportable?
You were so sure that he loves you and now you know nothing. The first time you think you’ve met an actual decent guy, this is what happens.
Your self-esteem is at an all-time low and you don’t trust yourself with anything anymore.
There’s a married woman out there who has no idea you’re intruding on her marriage and you’ve never felt so angry at yourself for letting yourself be pitted against another woman.
If you’re in a tough spot right now and in dire need of relationship advice, I’m here to offer you some tough truths.
Tu hombre casado podría estar engañándote fácilmente tanto a ti como a su mujer, y Dios sabe qué más podría estar tramando a tus espaldas.
In order to get a full grasp of this complex situation, here’s what you need to take into account before making an educated decision that will resolve your situation with this persona casada y ayudarte a encontrarte a ti mismo de nuevo.
Véase también: Cómo vivir en paz y armonía con la ayuda de estos 5 pasos
Puede que no seas el único
As difficult as it is to comprehend this, if this dude is already cheating on his wife with you, one needs to ponder whether or not you’re the only one he’s cheating with?
If he’s so good at sneaking around and doing the nasty with you behind his wife’s back, there could very well be another ”other” woman.
Lo que me lleva al segundo punto. ¿Cómo puedes confiar en él?
He’s already lying to one woman.
What’s to stop him from making a fool of you?
These types of men who cheat and so easily get away with it can’t really stop themselves from pushing the boundaries and testing out how many times they can actually successfully pull this off.
Are you sure you’re the only mistress in his life?
Can you declare with utmost certainty that he’d leave his wife for you one day?
Ten cuidado con este tipo.
He could be selling the same BS to another poor girl who’s buying it just like you are.
You shouldn’t be sitting around waiting for him to decide
A married man can tell you what he wants and you’ll believe it because you want it to be true.
But here’s a tough truth.
Los hombres casados rara vez dejan a sus esposas por su amante.
Te llenan la cabeza con cosas que saben que necesitas oír y siguen viviendo su vida de casados, mientras tú esperas impaciente su llamada.
¿Es justo? No. ¿Sigues esperando? Sí. Entonces tienes que preguntarte por qué y por cuánto tiempo.
When will it become obvious to you that you’ll always come second? He’s got his priorities (his wife and family) and you must focus on yours!
You’ll never get to sleep beside him and wake up next to him happy because he’ll always have to go back to her.
Y cada vez que eso ocurra, tu corazón se romperá un poco más.
Don’t do this to yourself. Pick yourself up, choose yourself, and leave him for your own well-being.
You deserve more than someone’s sloppy seconds and his wife deserves a man who won’t step out on her.
Véase también: Así es como dejas de sentir celos de una chica más guapa
What he’s doing to his wife, he could easily do to you
Let’s assume he actually leaves his wife and commits to you.
Te elige a ti y toma esta decisión desgarradora para su familia.
For a while, you’ll be on cloud nine. You’ll have everything you ever wanted. He’s finally all yours.
You don’t have to share him with anyone and you don’t have to keep your relationship a secret.
Puedes pasear por la calle y cogerte de la mano.
You can go on a couple’s getaway and not hide under fake names. But deep down, you’ll always wonder if he’s faithful to you.
You can’t lie to yourself – you know he’s already cheated, so how do you know he won’t do the exact same thing to you?
He can sweet-talk you all he wants, but when you know someone, it’s a different story.
So yeah, things will appear great and you’ll think you’re happy.
Pero este sentimiento nunca dejará de atormentarte, haciéndote cuestionar toda tu relación y su credibilidad cada día.
¿Merece la pena?
He’s highly unlikely to choose you
Un hombre casado ha desarrollado una táctica astuta que le permite seguir engañándote mientras te hace creer todas las mentiras que te dice.
This isn’t the first time he’s doing this.
Sabe cómo conquistarte y mantenerte enganchado.
You might feel special and like there’s actual hope for your relationship, but as I said, in this situation, married guys rarely choose the other woman.
Words mean nothing when they’re not supported by actions.
¿Y qué te han dicho sus acciones hasta ahora? ¿Te ha dicho algo y lo ha hecho realidad?
¿Está haciendo algún progreso con respecto a su promesa de dejar a su mujer?
You might be in love with a married man, but if the feeling was truly reciprocated, he’d show it to you by doing something about the situation.
No matter the relationship problems in his marriage, if he isn’t showing any will to leave her, you should beat him to it.
You’re probably secretly enjoying the thrill of this
I know you’ll never admit this to yourself or anyone else, but there’s something truly hot and sexy about sneaking around and finding new, creative ways to go about your affair.
Te hace sentir importante e ingenioso y, a veces, orgulloso.
I don’t expect you to own up to this, but you have to admit that there’s a tiny bit of truth there.
Tu vida era bastante rutinaria hasta que conociste a tu hombre casado.
And ever since, you’ve been living a completely different type of life – one that requires you to be sneaky and smart while keeping this huge secret under wraps.
It’s thrilling and exciting almost as much as it’s wrong and regretful.
Every day is a risk and a new adventure, and the fact that you never know where and when you’ll see him next is downright salacious.
You’re feeling the thrill of the whole thing while being cautiously aware of how wrong you are to feel this way.
And yet, you’re not doing anything to change it. What does that tell you?
Véase también: ¿Sexo con amigos? Los 10 mayores secretos que nadie te contará
Que tenga hijos lo hace mucho más complejo
Si tu hombre casado tiene hijos, la situación puede volverse mucho más fea.
En primer lugar, si dejara a su mujer por ti, sus hijos estarían resentidos contigo por romper su familia.
Do you want to take on this huge responsibility of being a major part of their life, all the while knowing they’re unlikely to warm up to you?
Every time they see you, they’ll be reminded that you were the reason for their mom and dad’s break-up.
Esto podría causar muchos conflictos y rencores, que también serán perjudiciales para su relación sentimental.
Being in love with a married man is one thing… but when there are kids involved, it’s simply playing with fire.
¿Estás preparado para quemarte?
You’ll never know the other side of the story (his wife’s)
A bad marriage is never just one partner’s fault.
It takes two to tango. And you’re never going to get the full story behind their failed marriage and how it all came about.
He can tell you whatever he wants, but do you really think that he didn’t play a part in his marriage crashing and burning?
If he’s bad-mouthing his wife, don’t you feel sorry for her?
Isn’t there a part of you wondering if she’s truly as possessive and controlling as he’s making her sound?
¿O podría ser manipulador y tóxico, lo que no le dio otra opción que ser así?
Hay tantos problemas que podría estar ocultándote, pero su mujer los conoce demasiado bien.
Piensa en ello antes de comprometerte con él. Tu relación podría fracasar tan fácilmente como su matrimonio.
¿Vale tu vida este desastre? ¿Vale ÉL la pena que sacrifiques tu dignidad y confíes ciegamente en él?
You’re a temporary fix for a broken marriage
Has it ever occurred to you that you might simply be his temporary saving grace while he’s struggling with his marital issues?
Men cheat and people lie. That’s a fact of life.
Y tú podrías ser víctima de su manipulación.
Puede que te hayas convencido a ti mismo de que se trata de una grandiosa historia de amor y de que estáis hechos el uno para el otro.
But it’s far more likely that you’re just someone with whom he gets to enjoy himself and forget about the world and his broken marriage.
At first, it’s sexy, fun, and thrilling.
Pero con el tiempo, se vuelve difícil, desafiante y desastroso.
Empiezas a verle como realmente es y a darte cuenta de que he doesn’t really love you.
He loves what you give him – relief from his relationship problems and a good time.
He doesn’t love ustedle encanta la sensación de ser temporalmente libre.
Véase también: 7 señales de una esposa distante emocionalmente y por qué se volvió así
¿Cómo seguir adelante?
Para empezar, empiezas a ver esto como lo que realmente es, en contraposición a lo que quieres que sea.
Una distracción de la realidad, donde vives en tu mundo de fantasía que te da la sensación de ser querido y no utilizado.
But being in love with a married man is just that – a fantasy.
You’ll never be his first choice.
He’s never going to wake up one day and decide to break up his marriage, especially if there are children in the picture.
You’re his breakaway from an unhappy marriage.
And as troubled as he may be, it’s not on you to be a fix to his emotional wounds.
You need to be brave enough to decide you’re done playing second fiddle.
You’re done taking crumbs of his love and from today on, you’re only going to look for guys who won’t use you as a temporary fix.
Tú vales mucho más.
Una relación sana consiste en dos individuos maduros que se eligen mutuamente y luchan por su amor contra viento y marea.
Two people who’d go to war for each other and never dare put their partner second.
A married man will never be able to check these boxes. And at the end of the day, that’s what it comes down to.
You can make all the excuses you want, but it won’t change a thing.
He’s always going to put her first because his loyalty is primarily to her. And yours should be to yourself. Put your own needs first.
Pick up the shambles of your broken self and admit to yourself what he never will. It’s never going to be you. You’ll never get your happy ending with him.
Take the relationship advice from a person who’s been through the wringer and suffered the consequences of her poor decision.
Un hombre casado es leal a su matrimonio y a sí mismo.
Toma la decisión correcta y vete dignamente antes de que te destroce el corazón.
It’s not going to be easy, but in the long run, this is the best decision you can make and one day you’ll be grateful you did it.
Puedes elegir vivir en un mundo de fantasía en el que sigues anhelando algo inasible, o puedes volver a la realidad y luchar por un futuro mejor.
¿Cuál será?
