Queridos amigos, esta es la razón por la que nunca habéis tenido novia

If you’re one of those men who never had a girlfriend, you probably think that you’re the only one. Well, that’s what everyone thinks when they don’t fit in the conventional sequence: finish school – find a job – encontrar novia – get married – have kids. 

If everyone around you has a girlfriend except you, this might make you feel ostracized from society and/or disappointed in yourself (assuming you want to have a girlfriend, but for some reason, you still don’t). 

Truth be told, some men may act like they don’t really care about the fact that they never had a girlfriend or they don’t even want to have one. Still, the majority of them will think that they are doing something wrong (which is not so far from the truth).

Descargo de responsabilidad: This is not an article about judging single guys, glorifying them, or pitying them. It’s about stating the facts based on other “forever single” men’s experiences for the sake of helping you step up your dating game.

(Puedes agradecérmelo después).

Do you think you’re doing something wrong or there’s something wrong with all the girls out there? 

Since I’m a straightforward person by nature, I hope you’ll get used to me writing exactly what I mean with no sugar coating.

Yes, I’m a female myself, and I don’t think that every single girl out there is perfect girlfriend material.

There are plenty of girls who are only interested in a man’s financial status (if you catch my drift) and who don’t even bother to get to know you better because all they’re interested in is you being able to indulge them. 

Esto llega tan lejos que las chicas incluso se atreven a pedirle a un chico que les pague el sofá $2500 después de la segunda cita (esto le pasó a mi amiga que también lleva soltera un tiempo). 

Algunas chicas están marcadas por sus relaciones pasadas, por lo que tienen dificultades para abrirse a alguien nuevo.

Otras chicas (entre las que me incluyo) sienten aversión por los hombres genéricos que utilizan frases cursis para ligar y se enorgullecen de su mentalidad poco esforzada.

There are also plenty of minimalist, creative, fun, and hard-working girls who simply don’t have time to date anyone, let alone be in a relationship at the moment.

Basta de chicas. The point is, not every girl’s personality and lifestyle is bound to match yours, which is okay.  

Now, let’s talk about you. 

Are you satisfied with your approach when it comes to girls (if there were any approaches whatsoever)? Do you think you’re doing something wrong? Or, that you could work more on improving yourself and stepping up your dating game?

If your answer is no on the last question, then you can be sure you’re doing something wrong. No matter how handsome, smart, or fun you are, there is always room for improvement. 

Some guys forget that, and that’s how they find themselves stuck in the realm of “never had a girlfriend”. Don’t be one of those guys.

No, there’s nothing wrong with you if you never had a girlfriend, but if you think that you shouldn’t keep working on yourself, then there is something wrong with you. Esto no sólo es esencial en el mundo de las citas, sino también en general. 

¿Sigues actualizando tu lista imaginaria de rasgos de una novia perfecta ¿pero nunca piensas en lo que tienes que ofrecerles? 

If you ask me, this is the worst that could happen to any man out there. It’s okay if you are shy or if you aren’t that confident. 

But, if you’re constantly dreaming about having the perfect girlfriend (according to your “perfect standards”), but aren’t willing to work on yourself, then this is truly unfair and unrealistic to say the least. 

Yes, almost every man thinks about himself as being a great catch, but that’s just how you see yourself. Note that every girl has different standards as well. 

Algunas chicas prefieren a los chicos normales con un gran sentido del humor, mientras que a otras les van más los hombres fuertes que rebosan confianza o una combinación de ambos.

No, you shouldn’t lower your standards just because you’re single, but you also shouldn’t be too picky or let unrealistic expectations rule your love life. 

Be who you are. Be your best self every day. Don’t stagnate, and don’t think that you are perfect in every aspect of your life because none of us is. 

¿Quizás la razón por la que nunca has tenido novia es porque no dejas de mencionarlo?

Hace poco, una de mis amigas se estaba mensajeando con un chico y desde el primer día hubo química entre ellos. La hacía reír todo el tiempo, era atento y diferente a todos los chicos con los que se había mensajeado o había salido hasta entonces. 

Y entonces, ¡BOOM! Un día, sin venir a cuento, le dijo que nunca había tenido novia (a pesar de tener treinta y pocos años).

Inmediatamente se asustó, me llamó y me dijo: ¡OMG debe haber algo mal con él porque nunca tuvo una novia antes! 

As reasonable as I am, I told her to calm down because there are plenty of reasons why someone has never had a girlfriend, and it doesn’t have to mean that there’s something wrong with him. 

When she asked him why he has never had a girlfriend before, he told her that he didn’t have time for that because he wanted to fully commit to his job. He didn’t want his potential girlfriend to feel neglected due to possible lack of attention or similar.

Después de que él dijera todo eso, ella volvió inmediatamente en sí y se dio cuenta de que era una explicación lógica. Well, some girls won’t even ask you about the reason why you never had a girlfriend, and that’s a problem.

Many girls just freak out when you tell them that, and they immediately start assuming that you’re a player, a selfish guy, a commitment-phobe, or something of sorts.

Dejan de enviarte mensajes y de salir contigo inmediatamente, y entonces acabas pensando en lo que has hecho mal. 

Practically, you haven’t done anything wrong, but there’s also no need to keep repeating that you never had a girlfriend to every new girl you meet.

Sometimes, it’s better to keep some things to yourself (especially the ones that won’t cause harm if you don’t tell the truth). 

O, ¿la razón por la que nunca has tenido novia es que eres malísimo leyendo señales?

Many men actually have no idea when a woman is genuinely interested in them. Sometimes, they think she’s interested even when she’s not, so they ask her out and she rejects them. 

Other times, a woman is totally interested in them, but they misinterpret the signs and never ask her out, thinking she doesn’t give a damn about them.

So, maybe the reason why you never had a girlfriend is that you suck at reading signs? Let me tell you one thing. If a woman laughs at your jokes (even the corny ones), then you know she’s interested in you.

If a woman keeps texting you (doesn’t let you wait for long between replies), then you know she probably likes you. Also, if a woman ignores your texts, pretends to be busy 24/7, or tells you openly that she’s interested in dating you, then she PROBABLY means it.

Si necesita más razones por las que nunca has tenido novia Date un capricho:

 

• Das demasiada información. (Yes, we’re interested in your funny childhood stories, but we really don’t want to know everything about your every single family member and their love life.)
• You’re not confident. (Surely, you don’t need to be a Wall Street businessman in order to exert some confidence. At least, show her that you have your own opinion on certain matters.) 
• You’re too picky. (Noup. You’ll never find that one unicorn perfect girlfriend because they don’t exist, so do yourself a favor and lower your standards.) 
• You’re too pushy. (Being “too anything” is not a good thing, especially if you’re too pushy. Give that woman some space to breathe and decide if she likes you or not on her own.)
• You’re boring. (Si tu principal logro en la vida es beber cerveza con tus colegas mientras ves el fútbol, entonces tienes que plantearte seriamente qué estás haciendo mal). 
• Te rindes fácilmente. (Amigo, ¿alguna vez has oído hablar de hacerse el duro? Si una mujer te cae demasiado pronto, ¿la apreciarías igual que si tuvieras que esforzarte más para conquistarla? Eso pensaba yo). 
• Pones a las chicas en un pedestal. (She might look like a goddess in your eyes, but trust me, no girl wants to be treated like a queen 24/7. No, she’s not out of your league, and there’s no need to go out of your way to impress her. Being a gentleman will suffice.)

Or, the reason why you never had a girlfriend is that you don’t want one. 

If that is the case with you, don’t worry. I’m not one of those people who will judge you for your life and love decisions.

If you don’t want to have a girlfriend because you have more important things to pay attention to in life at the moment, that’s totally fine.

Don’t let society, your family members, or your friends pressure you. You’re un hombre adulto and you, yourself, know what’s best for you. Right? Right.