A todas las chicas que se enamoran de chicos malos: Estos son 3 juegos mentales que los narcisistas juegan con nosotras

Creo que es una maldición fijarse en tipos que no nos convienen y, sin embargo, lo hacemos.

La cuestión es, why don’t we leave when we notice somebody is toxic to us?

Why can’t we pack our things and go? This would save so much of our time and would spare us so many sleepless nights or the nights we’re crying ourselves to sleep.

When we first meet a toxic person who everybody’s warned us about, we get blinded by their attention directed toward us, and we think we’re special because out of all the people, they’ve chosen to like us.

It’s such a privilege, there must be something amazing about us!

The only thing that’s amazing is how naive we can be to think we’re actually something special when, in fact, we’re food for the worst human predators ever.

And although they’re withdrawn emotionally, we stay and keep waiting for them to open up to us because we think we will be the one to change them.

Pero, de nuevo, ser tan ingenuos sólo puede hacer que nos destrocen, aunque al principio esperábamos ser héroes.

Chicas que se enamoran de chicos malos se vuelven adictos a los altibajos de las relaciones.

We get intoxicated by the feelings that a toxic relationship awakens in us and this might answer the question of why we aren’t leaving.

Con nuestra tendencia a salir chicos malos, we don’t give up easily. We stay and we fight harder instead of leaving. And in doing so, narcissistic people strengthen our addiction with their mistreatment.

Parece que cuanto mayor es el nivel de dolor, más pegajosos nos volvemos.

Narcissists ‘lovebomb’ their victims in the beginning.

Don’t be mistaken—every single one of them does it.

We fall for their ‘you-are-my-soulmate’ story. They all make a good impression at first and we often (and more than we should), believe the story they sell us about themselves.

Fingen tener intenciones puras y al principio nos hacen sentir especiales. Pero nada de esto dura mucho.

Cuando se trata de narcisistas, no se habla de sus relaciones anteriores y, si se hace, se puede notar fácilmente su historial de relaciones rápidas, superpuestas y tóxicas.

Se está agitando una bandera roja por todas partes, pero sólo si prestas atención.

Eventually, people tend to see through them and it’s easy to notice shallow and disingenuous emotions, but in most cases, it’s when it is way too late.

Las personas narcisistas hacen que sus víctimas se sientan menos dignas.

Ninguna persona que se sienta bien consigo misma se quedaría con un narcisista.

This is something narcissistic people are very aware of and that’s why they’re quick to make their victims feel less worthy.

Se apresuran a menospreciar a los demás y a señalar todos y cada uno de nuestros defectos cuando, al mismo tiempo, se ven a sí mismos en términos absolutamente positivos.

It’s their way to feel superior—they need to make everybody less worthy. That’s how they feed their egos since they consider themselves as God’s ultimate creations.

They don’t take criticism very well and that might be one reason they undermine people.

They need to have broken people around them who can’t think for themselves and who will dim their voices—that’s the main reason they put people down.

And once we’re under the constant influence of being told how we are not good enough or how they’re superior and how we should be lucky someone like them wants to be with someone like us, we start believing this.

We get addicted to this idea that someone who’s better than us actually wants to be with us and we stay. We stay even when we know we should be running for our lives.

Todos los narcisistas hacen que sus víctimas sientan miedo.

If we weren’t scared of anything, how could narcissistic people stick their claws into us?

They couldn’t, so they need to create this fear in us in order to be able to gain control over us.

We are afraid of losing them. We’re afraid we’ll never find anyone better than them.

La verdad es que se venden tan bien a los demás, presumiendo constantemente y señalando sus logros, sobre todo exagerándolo todo. Lo peor es que incluso ellos creen en sus mentiras.

They’ve reached the professional level of being a liar to the point where they manage to convince themselves of their lies.

We tend to see them better than they really are and with time, we develop the idea that they are the best of what’s out there.

That’s why we’re scared to lose them or let them go. And that’s why we put up with being mistreated all the time.

“Relationships with narcissists are held in place by the hope of a ‘someday better,’ with little evidence to support it will ever arrive.” – Ramani Durvasula

Somebody needs to break it to you—dating a narcissist won’t give you superpowers.

You can’t tame the beast. The ‘someday better’ will never arrive so therefore, you better quit investing yourself in that relationship.

“The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside.” – Sam Vaknin

The bottom line is that we need to take off our rose-colored glasses and see other people’s truth.

If they’re bad and if they show clear patterns of being narcissists, we need to stop being so naive and we need to stop believing that we will be the one to change them. Because narcissists don’t want to changepara empezar.

How could they, when they don’t see themselves as toxic?

Nadie en este mundo podría hacerles creer que les pasa algo.

In case we still want to be heroes, then we should save ourselves and walk away the minute we meet someone who shows patterns of narcissism. Because that’s the only right thing to do.