Cómo dejar de echar de menos a alguien: 10 sencillos pasos hacia la libertad

Todos sabemos que el peor dolor de todos es un desamor. Echar de menos a alguien es como romperte el corazón todos los días, una y otra vez. 

No matter what that person you’re missing means to you and no matter what the reason was for your separation, el dolor está ahí y siempre duele lo mismo.

Ese dolor de tu angustia makes you think that there is no right answer to ‘how to stop missing someone you love’. 

Fortunately, that’s only the pain speaking. There are some proven methods on how you can deal with the pain of missing someone in a manera saludable. 

Pining por alguien que te dejó ir o te fue arrebatado afecta su salud mental.

Te sientes abrumado por tantos sentimientos negativos y pensamientos oscuros y entonces empieza a afectar a todos los demás aspectos de tu vida.

¿Cuánto tiempo se tarda en dejar de echar de menos a alguien?

Honestamente hablando, esta es una pregunta nadie puede darte la respuesta correcta a. Lo pongo aquí sólo porque sabía que sería lo primero que preguntarías. 

I know that time has become so important in our lives today. We all rush through life like we’re running out of time. 

Queremos superar rápido una ruptura, queremos encontrarnos inmediatamente con el amor de nuestra vida, queremos tenerlo todo enseguida. 

That’s not how the world functions. You have to fight and try hard to get what you want. You have to learn how to stop missing someone or dejarse llevar de alguien que te dejó. 

Lo más importante es que te des tiempo, para organizar tus pensamientos, para entender tus sentimientos, para sanar, para dejarlo ir, para seguir adelante.  

We’re all different and we all function differently. Everyone grieves differently. Everyone heals differently.

Cuánto tiempo se tarda en dejar de echar de menos nuestra amado difiere de una persona a otra. No existe un calendario concreto para ello. 

One person doesn’t need much time; when they decide they’re done with missing a person, that’s it. Another person will need some more time and that’s perfectly okay. 

You’re allowed to take as much time as you need. First, you have to heal your corazón roto, then you’ll find a way to stop missing the person who isn’t there anymore. 

Tienes que registrarse with yourself daily. Avoiding talking about it or even worse, denying it, won’t help you. 

Sooner or later, you’ll have to deal with it. Believe me, the longer you put it off, the harder it will be for you to deal with. 

Tienes que procesar tus sentimientos y eso lleva tiempo. Puedes pedir consejo a otras personas pero, al final, debes hacer lo que creas que te va a ayudar a aliviar el dolor. 

Véase también: Si echas de menos a alguien, ¿puede sentirlo? Sí, y he aquí por qué

¿Cómo dejar de echar de menos a tu ex?

No importa quién inició la ruptura o cuál fue el motivo, si realmente amabas a tu pareja, la echarás de menos. 

Pasaste parte de tu vida con ese una persona and it’s perfectly normal that you miss them or the relationship you had. 

A veces ese sentimiento te abruma por completo y te impide pensar con claridad sobre lo ocurrido o lo que puedes hacer al respecto. 

This is how you’ll shift your focus back to yourself and stop missing that una persona who didn’t even deserve you in the first place.  

1. Escribe todo lo que sientes

Iniciar un diario y usa ese diario como tu psicólogo privado. Vierte tus sentimientos en un pedazo de papel escribiendo todo lo que sientes. 

Trust me, it worked for me, it’ll work for you too. Most people don’t feel comfortable sharing some of their deepest emotions with another human being; that’s why this method is going to work for you for sure. 

Make a list. I called mine ‘The pros and cons of dating him’. You can call yours whatever you want, then write down all the good and bad sides of your relationship with him. 

You have to be brutally honest, that’s very important, then weigh up those pros and cons and I’m sure everything will become more clear to you.

You’ll see that you were actually stuck in a relación tóxica. You’ll come to the conclusion that your ex actually never even deserved you. 

Anote todos los buenos recuerdos que se te ocurra que compartiste con tu ex-novioAñádele todo lo malo que haya pasado en tu relación y vuelve a hacer cuentas.

I’m sure there were a lot of great moments in your relationship but I’m also sure that there were some terrible and awful periods that can make you forget the good ones. 

Your journal will also serve as a great reminder for you after you definitely let go of your ex. It’ll remind you how strong and brave you were and how you manage to let go of a person who meant so much to you. 

2. Escríbeles un último mensaje

You’re allowed to send them one last message but hey, it really must be THE LAST ONE. That’ll be your much-needed closure. 

Write everything you feel now and how you felt when you ended your relationship. If it’s too much for a text message, then write them a letter. 

Be honest. Admit to them how you still miss them but emphasize how this message isn’t your attempt to get them back.

Tell them how you’re trying to move on and stop missing them and how this is the one last step you have to take in order to do that. 

Tell them how angry you are because they left you and you can’t make your heart stop loving or missing them. 

Recuérdeles la el año pasado y cómo todo era diferente antes. Recuérdales lo bien que os lo pasabais juntos y lo mucho que os queríais antes. 

Don’t be too pathetic. Maybe you’re afraid that you’ll never be able to move on but they don’t have to know that. 

3. Bloquéalos en tus redes sociales

No hay necesidad de espiarlos en tu redes sociales as it’ll only make things worse. When you see the photos they post on their redes sociales, it’ll only make you miss them more. 

If they post about a song you like or a movie you watched together, you’ll think that they posted it for you and it’ll get your hopes up that they want to be with you again.

You’ll only be more disappointed once you realize that’s not the case. You’ll start thinking about how it’s for some other woman, how they’ve already found someone new. 

En realidad, la razón más importante por la que deberías bloquear a tu ex en su redes sociales es porque sólo así estarás a salvo de mandarles mensajes borrachos. 

This reminds me, you should also delete their number from your phone. I hope you don’t know it by heart though because otherwise all of this is pointless. 

4. Borra todas las fotos de tu ex novio

You don’t need anything that can remind you of him. Their photos and all the photos where you two are together can delay your process of healing. 

Don’t waste your time lying in bed and crying over their photos all day long as that’ll also make you miss them more. 

Tienes que seguir adelante porque tu ex ya lo ha hecho seguro. Tienes que dejar a tu ex donde debe estar; tienes que dejarlo en el pasado. 

5. Pasa tiempo con tus amigos para distraerte de pensar en ellos

Maybe you neglected your friends while you were in a relationship but don’t worry; it happens. If they are your true friends, they’ll understand and forgive you. 

Llámalos e invítalos a tu casa o pídeles que salgan contigo. Sal con ellos más a menudo. Estaban contigo antes de tu ex y están contigo ahora. ¿Qué te dice eso? 

True friends will be with you forever. They’ll remain by your side no matter what happens. Your friendship means more to them than any other relationship in their life. 

Esas personas son las que te quieren de verdad y sólo desean lo mejor para ti. Pasar el tiempo con la gente que te quiere de verdad es la mejor terapia que existe, lo juro. 

You can fake a smile as much as you want but they know that deep down, you’re suffering.

Saben que tu sonrisa es sólo una fachada because you won’t allow other people to see that you’re hurt and that you still miss the guy who left you. 

They’ll do everything they can to make you happy again, to see an honest smile on your face. They’ll intentar distraerte and keep you busy so you won’t have time to think about your ex. 

Tus amigos son tus verdaderos endorfinas. They can make you feel good no matter how difficult your situation actually is. ​​​​​ 

6. Estar abierto a probar cosas nuevas

Prueba cosas nuevas, planea algunas aventuras para ti, sal de tu zona de confort. Ahora que tienes tanto tiempo libre, aprovéchalo para hacer algo que siempre has querido hacer. 

Es una gran oportunidad para aprender algo, como un nuevo idioma o manualidades. 

Prueba un nueva afición. Empieza a jugar al fútbol o a cualquier otro deporte que te guste. Juega al ordenador. Prueba nuevas recetas. 

Traveling is also great therapy for lonely souls or those who suffer in love. It distracts you from thinking about it but it’s also a good opportunity to meet new people or who knows, maybe even nuevo amor. 

7. Evita las cosas que puedan desencadenar viejos recuerdos

Avoid all the things that you two loved to do together as it’ll only remind you of your relationship and make you feel even worse. 

Evita los lugares que signifiquen algo para los dos.

Sure, you have some pleasant memories associated with certain places where you two went but reminding yourself of those moments won’t make you miss them any less; on the contrary, you’ll only miss them more. 

Evita ver tus películas favoritas o escuchar las canciones que os gustan a los dos. Evita todo aquello que pueda desencadenar recuerdos de tu relación pasada. 

8. Evita a tus amigos comunes durante un tiempo

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that you should break friendships with your common friends just because you broke up with him. 

Sin embargo, sería mejor que los evitaras durante algún tiempo porque hablarán de él delante de ti.

They probably still hang out with him and they’ll know if he has moved on with his life already and it’s better for you to not find out that information. 

They’ll remind you of some times from your relationship, some buenos recuerdos, and that’s the last thing you need right now. 

If you can’t avoid them, then don’t talk about him in their company. Just like they would talk to you about him, they would also talk to him about you.

Don’t allow them to see how miserable you feel. Whatever you do and however you feel, you must not tell them that you still miss him and can’t do anything about it.

Don’t allow yourself to look pathetic because they will probably tell him that. 

Maybe he still has feelings for you or he doesn’t want to see you suffer and he could ask you to get back together.

Trust me, you don’t want to do that as you’ll regret it sooner or later. He isn’t in love with you anymore, he would do it only out of pity. 

Si tus amigos comunes son los únicos amigos que tienes, sal y conoce a otros nuevos. En realidad, esta podría ser una gran oportunidad para conocer gente nueva y hacer nuevas amistades. 

Esos nuevos amigos can be very helpful in these kinds of situations. They won’t ask questions about your past and you’ll feel more relaxed and comfortable hanging out with them. 

9. Aprender el arte de dejar ir

The first thing you need to do is let him go for real. After you firmly decide that it’s time to finally do that, you’ll immediately empezar a echarle menos de menos. 

Stop holding on to the past. He left you, he went from your life and that’s it. You have to accept it and move on. 

I’ve been there. I know how much it hurts and believe me, it’s going to hurt for a while but your only option is to come to terms with the break-up and move on. 

You’ll need time, that’s for sure. You need time to figure out how you exactly feel. You need to be alone for a while. 

Tienes que organizar tus pensamientos y sentimientos y pensar en tu relación y en la ruptura. Realmente merece ese hombre que le eches tanto de menos? 

10. Don’t forget to take care of yourself

Okay, you’re allowed to spend the first day after the break-up in your pajamas, lying in your bed, surrounded by ice cream and chocolate. 

You’re hurt and you’re missing your amado. You have every right to cry so cry your heart out; it’ll make you feel better. 

Don’t bottle up your emotions. Share them with your best friend or the family member you trust the most. Don’t shut yourself off as it affects your emotional bienestar y salud mental. 

Después de algún tiempo, tienes que decirte a ti mismo that it’s enough. Ya has llorado bastante y ahora tienes que espabilar y prestarte atención. 

It’s time to think about yourself. It’s time to make self-care your priority so take care of yourself. Autocuidado es el primer paso para amor propio y la autoaceptación. 

En primer lugar, tienes que relajarte y la mejor forma de hacerlo es tomando un baño largo y relajante. Prepárate un baño de burbujas con algunos aceites esenciales calmantes.

Put on some relaxing music, light some candles and don’t forget to pour yourself a glass of your favorite wine. This kind of bath will lift up your mood for sure. 

Date un capricho. Ve de compras y cómprate ropa nueva. Prueba nuevas mascarillas. Cambia de peinado o prueba un nuevo corte o color de pelo. Hazte un cambio de imagen completo. 

Entonces sal. Haz que se arrepienta de haberte dejado. Demuéstrale que ha sido la peor decisión de su vida. Haz que te eche de menos.  

You’ll be noticed for sure. Not only by him but by other men. Soon, your Facebook and Instagram will be full of friend requests and messages. Who knows, maybe that’s how you’ll meet someone new. 

Date la oportunidad de conocer a alguien nuevo. Don’t be afraid to date again. A nuevo amor could help you forget your ex and that’s how you’ll stop missing him for sure.  

¿Cómo afrontar la pérdida de la pareja en una relación a distancia?

Estar en un relación a distancia is hard but if you love your partner, it’s totally worth it. Distance means nothing if you’re in love with that person. 

I won’t lie. There is nothing you can do to completely stop missing your pareja pero aquí tienes algunas cosas que puedes intentar para afrontarlo de una forma más manera saludable.  

1. Know that you won’t be in a long-distance relationship forever; it’ll change one day

Be positive as this is only a temporary situation. One day, you’ll be ready to make your relación oficial and you won’t be in a relación a distancia más.

You’ll be together every day. You’ll wake up next to your amado cada mañana y dormir a su lado cada noche. 

Everything will change, you just have to be patient and wait. Don’t put too much pressure on your partner or yourself because otherwise it’ll also affect your relationship. 

2. Darse cuenta de que mantener un contacto constante es una prioridad, incluso durante las peleas.

Aunque estés muy ocupado, tienes que sacar tiempo para tu pareja y viceversa. Tenéis que estar en contacto permanente.

I don’t mean that you have to talk or chat 24/7 but you have to be in contact every day. 

Hay que tener en cuenta que un relación a distancia tiene que ver con el trabajo duro. Si de verdad quieres que funcione, tienes que luchar por ello.

Yo siempre digo: ¡gracias a Dios por la tecnología! Mantener un contacto constante, sobre todo a través de videochats, te ayudará a aliviar el dolor de echarlos de menos. 

3. Planifique su próxima cita

I’m assuming you count the days when you’ll see your pareja otra vez. Bueno, puedes hacer más que eso. 

Planifique todo sobre the next time you’ll see each other. Plan some fun activities for you both, pick the restaurant where you’ll eat, choose the movie you’ll see at the cinema. 

Use every moment of your SO’s visit and leave nothing to chance. It’ll keep you busy so you won’t think much about how you’re missing them way too much. 

4. Queda más con tus amigos

Being in the house counting down the days when you’ll finally see your SO and waiting for them to call you or text you won’t do you any good. 

Tienes que salir y pasar tiempo con tus amigos. Tienes que distraerte y salir con la gente que quieres es una forma estupenda de hacerlo. 

​​​​​​​They’ll find a way to cheer you up because that’s what friends are for. 

5. Encuentra un nuevo pasatiempo o algo que te distraiga

Tienes que mantenerte ocupado y hay muchas formas de hacerlo. Encuentre un nueva afición; for example, something you think you’d like and always wanted to try. 

Exercise more or start going to the gym. If you don’t like the gym, you can do yoga or meditation, as they have calming and relaxing effects, so one of these will also be great to help you deal with missing your SO. 

Don’t think too much about when you’ll next see your partner. Do the housework, do some gardening or you can always redecorate your house or your garden or find some DIY projects on the Internet. 

También puedes hacer algo para tu pareja y sorprenderla con un regalo hecho a mano la próxima vez que la veas.

6. Piensen juntos en su futuro

As I already said, this is only a temporary situation and it’ll pass. You have to think about and focus on your future. 

Think about how you’ll start living together very soon. Think about the primera vez you’ll be buying something for your own place. Those days will come sooner than you think, I promise. 

Think about how proud you’ll be for both of you fighting for your relationship and overcoming so many challenges and obstacles. 

¿Cómo aliviar el dolor de una separación permanente?

La muerte de un ser querido es una experiencia horrible, especialmente si pierdes el el amor de tu vida. Una gran pérdida deja marcas en tu corazón para siempre. 

No one can give you advice on how to stop missing someone who was taken away from you because the fact is you’ll never stop missing that person. 

Sin embargo, puedes aliviar el dolor dándote tiempo para llorar y haciendo algunas cosas que te distraigan de pensar en tu pérdida. 

It’s important not to just listen to other people’s advice. We are all different and we all cope with the grief of loss differently. We all need time to heal and you have the right to take as much time as you need. 

You can ease the pain and after some time, you’ll start missing them less but the truth is that you’ll never stop completely missing them.

The right answer to the question of ‘how to stop missing someone who died?’ doesn’t exist unfortunately.