Las mujeres que permanecen solteras durante más tiempo acaban siendo más felices consigo mismas, con su vida y sus relaciones y, por defecto, con sus matrimonios.

Tienen tiempo para ver las cosas con más claridad; cosas que la gente de su entorno hace y que ellos harían de otra manera dada la misma situación.

They learn from other people’s mistakes as well as from their own, and they lead more productive lives. They have had the chance to really get to know themselves and take some valuable lessons along with them.

Hablo por experiencia. Una vez fui uno de esos “forever single women”. We really do thrive in life and love. And it’s mostly because of things that we have learned while everyone else was getting married:

1. Don’t ever settle

The single life has its perks, but it can also get really lonely. It’s easy to fall into the trap of settling for just anybody because of it. Our desire for closeness and connection can be really strong.

But we should wait and look at things more rationally. It’s better to be alone than in bad company. It’s better to live in peace than taking a ride on an emotional rollercoaster.

We shouldn’t settle for mediocre relationships and half-assed commitment just because we are tired of being alone. We will only make everything worse and essentially hurt more in the long run.

2. Las citas modernas son lo peor, pero también te enseñan mucho

Meeting a good, decent guy these days is like hitting the jackpot. Those guys have become so rare that it’s almost like they are an endangered species.

En mi colorida vida de citas, conocí a muchos chicos que no merecían mi tiempo. Me hacían perder el tiempo, me engañaban y, a veces, me daban ganas de renunciar a las citas.

However, they also taught me valuable lessons. They taught me what I don’t want and what I shouldn’t tolerate. They taught me I should wait for something better than them.

Véase también: I Hate Waiting…That’s Why I Suck At Modern Dating

3. Perseguir tus sueños es más importante que casarte

Si te casas y no estás contento con lo que eres, te sentirás desgraciado. He visto esta situación más veces de las que puedo contar.

Supongo que algunas mujeres piensan que una relación estable o un matrimonio las hará completas. Así que se olvidan de sí mismas. Dejan de lado sus sueños y ambiciones.

Fulfilling your dreams and being in a happy relationship shouldn’t exclude one another. There is room for both, and you should never, under no circumstances, give up your dreams.

4. Valora tus amistades

Las relaciones van y vienen, los matrimonios a veces se deshacen, pero los verdaderos amigos están contigo para siempre. Tener unos buenos amigos en la vida no tiene precio.

They will be by your side through thick or thin. You are each other’s rocks and support systems, and you can’t find that in just anybody. Great friends better each other’s lives.

Even if your friends get married before you do, you won’t lose them. They remain a huge part of your life, with a few minor adjustments and accommodations. Anyone who says otherwise is a liar.

5. Tienes que conocerte a ti mismo antes de pensar en casarte.

Learning to put a smile on your own face should be one of your first life goals. You can’t rely on anybody else to bring you happiness—nor is that their job. That’s all in your hands.

Las personas cuya única fuente de alegría en la vida es su pareja se convierten en codependiente. Dependen de su pareja para todo y la relación se vuelve insana. Tarde o temprano, este tipo de relaciones terminan.

So, build your life independently of your partner. Let him be the one who adds to your bliss, not the one who creates it. That’s the only way you will have a happy and healthy relationship and marriage.

6. Listen to that “little voice” inside of you

I think most of us are guilty of silencing that little voice inside of us when it’s telling us something we don’t want to hear. We go against our better judgment, and we usually end up in tears.

We all need to pay better attention to that little voice inside of us and trust our guts—they usually never fail.

7. Getting married won’t solve your problems

Empieza por ti mismo. Aumenta tu confianza. Encuentra algo que te apasione y empieza a construir una vida de la que te sientas orgulloso.

Getting married or entering a relationship won’t change the fact that you are unsatisfied with your life or with yourself. It will only make things worse.

If your outlook on marriage is that it is meant to solve your problems, you will find out soon enough that isn’t true. You will only become more bitter and unsatisfied because you won’t see your way out.