Ya no quiero que mi marido me toque (Causas y soluciones)

I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore.

One of the most dreaded sentences you never thought you’d think, let alone utter. Yet here you are.

You’re probably ashamed of feeling no desire for physical contact and wondering what’s wrong with you.

Pero habiendo estado yo mismo en una situación similar, puedo asegurarte que no es tan inusual como temes.

Cuando te casas, la intimidad física y el deseo de afecto constante están en su punto álgido.

Lo único que quieres es ir cogida de la mano, salir por la noche y amar a tu marido de todas las formas imaginables.

But after years of marriage, this idyllic bubble inevitably bursts, and what you’re left with is reality.

And guess what? That’s perfectly normal – no¡Esperado!

So if you’ve been struggling with occasional zonas difíciles, mixed emotions, and a lack of self-esteem, I’m here to help.

En realidad, esto no es malo. Reconocer un problema e intentar encontrar una solución siempre es un paso en la dirección correcta.

Right now, you’re confused and probably saddened to feel this way, which is why I urge you to continue reading.

A continuación, te desvelo cuáles son las causas de que una mujer no quiera ser tocada por su marido y cómo puedes superar este obstáculo.

Véase también: 20 señales de un matrimonio sin amor y 6 poderosas formas de afrontarlo

Why Do I Feel No Desire For My Husband’s Touch?

You’re under a huge amount of stress elsewhere in your life

Lo que hace que el afecto físico sea lo menos importante de tu vida.

In a way, it’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed, but you also need to learn to separate things.

For example, if your boss is stressing you out at work, or your children are being unruly, it’s important not to let your residual anger from that affect your marriage.

What I do in these situations is let my partner know how I’m feeling and seek a little alone time to work through it. After that, I always feel more refreshed and eager to talk and cuddle.

You’re feeling emotional disconnect in your marriage

Don’t let your parents, in-laws, or any third party affect tu matrimonio de ninguna manera.

Esta sensación puede provenir de personas que ofrecen opiniones no solicitadas, lo que a menudo crea una incómoda desconexión.

Ask yourself this: Who’s in this marriage? It’s you and your husband. No one else. So if you’re feeling detached, work it out between yourselves.

It’s not crazy to keep thinking I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore si hay todos estos problemas volando a tu alrededor.

Luckily, it’s easily solvable. Ignore the outside noise and focus on the two of you.

You’re self-conscious about your body image (common for new moms)

If I had a penny for every time I felt sorry for myself after looking in the mirror, I’d be loaded. And yes, it can 100% affect your desire for physical intimacy.

How can you feel like making love if you can’t stand the way you look? It’s challenging to say the least.

If you’ve recently (or not that recently even) given birth, it’s completely normal to feel disconnected from your own body.

It had just gone through something insane and you’re still coming to terms with it. Give yourself time. If this is what’s bothering you, you’re going to be just fine.

Véase también: Cómo salvar un matrimonio: 10 Métodos Probados Que Siempre Funcionan

You’re feeling discomfort during intercourse

Don’t be embarrassed if you’ve been feeling any sort of pain or discomfort during intercourse.

This is your husband we’re talking about, you can share it with him.

It’s better to be open about it and help him help you than to secretly be unhappy and miserable. Plus, I’m sure he’d feel awful knowing you didn’t come to him about it.

Partners are there to help each other out. Don’t let a fixable issue affect your intimacy with your hubby!

You’re mentally exhausted

Su salud mental is really questionable right now. You’re a full-time mom and wife, and you’re having a hard time balancing all your roles. You’re simply at the end of your wits.

Here’s the deal. If I’m feeling like I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore, I make sure to reevaluate my own well-being.

¿Es algo mío o es culpa de mi pareja?

And if I come to the conclusion that my mental exhaustion is making me feel this way, you can bet your booty that I’m going to work on it.

All I can do is suggest the same. Take a load off some days, and let yourself be loved and nurtured. You can’t always be on top of everything.

You’re feeling unappreciated and belittled

You can’t remember the last time your husband took you out and showered you with love and attention.

It’s like all he expects of you is to be a full-time mom and to make love whenever he feels like it.

If there’s an issue around the house, he expects you to fix it and gets mad when you don’t. No wonder you’re feeling this way.

You can’t be expected to want to get busy if you’re so undervalued. He needs to give you the credit you deserve.

You’re secretly holding a grudge that is affecting your intimacy

He’s the one person who can affect your entire mood. And sometimes, his words can really tear your heart apart, but you never tell him, which makes it hard to be intimate.

Don’t let something that happened last year (that you resolved) still live inside your head and mess up your marriage.

If there are old grudges that you haven’t worked out, be sure to let him know. For as long as you keep things bottled up, it’s going to affect your mind, body, and soul.

You’re nervous about your performance

As of late, you’ve been scared that you’re not what your husband needs. Perhaps you’re afraid that he has a porn addiction that makes him look at you in a different light.

You don’t want to jump to conclusions, but he does seem to be into fantasy much more than the real deal, and that makes you feel nervous, to say the least.

The side effects of porn can be severe if he doesn’t work on it. But you need to broach the subject first. If you keep letting him off the hook, things will only worsen.

Véase también: Objetivos matrimoniales: 15 cosas principales en las que deberían centrarse todas las parejas casadas

Te detienes en cada asunto pasado y presente

You’re a dweller. You’ve known this all your life, but you just can’t let stuff go. Every time you attempt to clear your mind, every little issue catches up with you.

Your hubby could be initiating love-making, and in the back of your head, all you can think about is how he didn’t wash the dishes that one time or refused to pick you up on a late night out.

It messes with your head, but you can’t let it go. I know that I don’t even have to say it, but you need to work on this. It’s called compartmentalizing.

Learn to let stuff go and stop poisoning your mind. There will always be something to worry about. Don’t let it overcome you!

You don’t feel heard

If you’re being honest, sometimes you feel like you could scream and no one would hear you. You go through everything alone because you don’t want to stress anyone.

But here’s what happens to people who suffer in silence. Eventually, they burn out. They stop wanting to be intimate with their spouses. And ultimately, happiness evades them.

If you don’t feel heard, that’s on him. But if you never do anything about it, that’s entirely on you.

¿Cómo recuperar el deseo de intimidad?

Open up about what’s in your head

Ante todo, mejore los niveles de comunicación en su matrimonio. Todo empieza y acaba precisamente con eso.

Communication can be the best thing about your marriage or it could end it. What’s it going to be?

Right now you’re thinking: I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore, and I have no idea why that is.

But at the same time, you’re never going to get to the bottom of it until you open up.

Dale a tu marido la oportunidad de ayudarte. Hacen falta dos para bailar un tango y tu falta de deseo de contacto físico también le molesta a él.

Pasar tiempo juntos para volver a conectar

Recuerde la primera vez le dijiste te quiero, y todas las emociones que envolvieron ese día, y todo lo que siguió.

Intenta recuperar eso. Piensa en lo que te atrajo de él en primer lugar.

Céntrate en los aspectos positivos de tu matrimonio. La forma en que te conquistó hace tantos años, cómo te sorprendió con un detalle por tu cumpleaños y cosas así.

Procura tener siempre tu propio tiempo programado. Sin hablar de niños, trabajo, problemas o tareas. Sólo dos tortolitos recuperando su ritmo.

Véase también: 15 cambios en el cuerpo y la mente de la mujer después del matrimonio que nadie te cuenta

Separar el tiempo de intimidad y el tiempo de resolución de problemas

En lugar de hablar de tu enorme compra de ayer en Amazon, céntrate en recuperar la intimidad.

There’s a time and place for resolving issues, so don’t let it seep into your “intimacy time.”

Cuando encuentres el equilibrio, volverán los preliminares y los mimos.

Tell him your biggest turn-ons (you don’t want to hear mine, LOL) and get to work.

Just don’t let that one pesky issue (that’s not a big deal anyhow) prevent you from enjoying the present. You will never be happy for as long as you keep harping on about issues.

A veces, sólo tienes que decir No, hoy no.¡y ve a besarte con tu marido!

Darse la mano y abrazarse más a menudo (marca la diferencia)

Al fin y al cabo, tu marido es (con suerte) tu mejor amigo. Demuéstraselo cogiéndole de la mano de camino al supermercado. Abrázale siempre que te apetezca.

Nunca renuncies a tener intimidad física por cosas que se pueden trabajar.

You’d be surprised the effect a genuine hug from a loved one has on you.

Start small. Hold his hand, lean into him, hug him, and slowly go from there. Regain that spark one day at a time and you might just see how much you’ve missed his touch after all.

Trabajar la confianza en uno mismo de forma individual

If he doesn’t know about your lack of self-esteem, how can he be of service to you? Let him know of your inner struggle and work on getting it under control.

Your self-confidence has everything to do with you. You’re going to have to dig deep to see what’s been holding you back.

Figure out if it’s unfortunate past experiences, bad break-ups, or your superiors at work taking it out on you.

Una vez que comprenda la raíz del problema, podrá empezar a trabajar en él.

Just don’t let your marriage suffer because you’re too afraid to do some much-needed soul-searching.

Dejemos de culpar a los demás y hagamos frente común

At the end of the day, you’re in this together. It’s not you against your husband, but you two against the problem.

That’s one of the biggest things I need you to understand here. You can’t keep pointing fingers at your husband and act like you’re blame-free for every single issue.

There has to be a mutual understanding and willingness to share your part of the blame. That’s the fastest route to getting your intimacy issues resolved.

When I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore, I never let him take all the blame. And rest assured, I do feel that way sometimes.

Pero si quieres mejorar, tienes que asumir responsabilidades.

Practicar la vulnerabilidad emocional

I get it. It’s hard to open up and be vulnerable. Even if it’s your husband. Having been through so many awful and rupturas tóxicasComprendo perfectamente la dificultad de ser vulnerable.

Pero en algún momento, tienes que arriesgarte. Tienes que creer que él tiene tu mejor interés en el corazón. Lo más probable es que lo haga.

Practica tu vulnerabilidad emocional. Deja que tus sentimientos salgan a la luz y sé valiente al decirle (y mostrarle) cómo te sientes.

Even if you’re scared and feel like he won’t say it back. Remember, that’s just your mind playing tricks on you.

Your husband loves you and he’d most likely do anything for you. Give him the benefit of the doubt.

Véase también: Cómo ligar con tu marido de 30 maneras atrevidas y seductoras

Divide las tareas domésticas a partes iguales para liberar tu carga mental

Personally, this has always been one of my biggest pet peeves. Being expected to be on top of things at home and then desire him intimately as if I hadn’t just scrubbed the bathroom tiles for hours.

But there’s a simple way around this. Make him do his part around the house! It’s so simple.

If there’s something you prefer to do yourself, stick to it and give him the “easy” chores that he can’t mess up.

That way, you’ll be working as a team, and you won’t feel mentally exhausted at the end of the day.

Kind of the perfect situation. don’t you think? It’s his house too. So it’s only natural he does his part in maintaining it.

Don’t be afraid to tell your husband what you like and don’t like in bed

Esta es la raíz de muchos problemas en los matrimonios y las relaciones en general. Y lo entiendo.

It’s awkward telling someone that what they’re doing just isn’t cutting it for you.

Pero hablando de estas cosas es donde está la verdadera intimidad. ¿A quién le vas a contar algo así si no es a tu marido?

This isn’t your first time with him, so stop acting like it. You’ve been at it for probably a number of years, so you have to learn how to discuss these things with him.

And I promise you that he’d be crushed knowing that you’re unhappy with your intimate life and you never told him.

Así que ábrete sobre lo que te gusta y reaviva esa chispa que sabes que sigue ahí.

En lugar de recurrir a asuntos emocionales y al mundo de la fantasía, disfruta de la real con la ayuda de una simple conversación.

Busque la ayuda de un terapeuta

Ultimately, if you find that you can’t find a solution between yourselves, it’s time to seek the help of a licensed professional.

It’s important that you feel no shame about coming to the conclusion that you need help.

You’d be surprised how many married couples see a therapist on a regular basis. They simply don’t broadcast it!

Así que, en lugar de temer este paso, acéptalo y considéralo una bendición disfrazada.

Le ayudarán a encontrar formas sanas de comunicarse y le guiarán por el camino hacia la recuperación de su intimidad.

And my guess is, after a few visits, you’ll realize what a game-changer this is.

Porque un terapeuta simplemente te ayudará a ver que puedes solucionarlo con un pequeño empujón en la dirección correcta.

¿Vale la pena salvar su matrimonio?

Cuando te centras demasiado en pensar: I don’t want my husband to touch me anymore, instead of trying to find reasons and solutions, you’re not giving your marriage a fair shot.

¿Todavía quieres a tu marido? ¿Todavía te quiere?? ¿Todavía quieres estar casada con él?

Is it unfathomable to be with someone else? If the answer to these is yes, then don’t renunciar.

Sure, you’ve hit a rough patch, but I’m certain that this isn’t the first obstacle you’ve ever encountered.

Life is utterly unpredictable. While today you’re feeling on top of the world, tomorrow you may experience an ultimate low.

Since you can’t predict what tomorrow holds, all you can focus on is today. So, how can you work on your intimacy issues and broach this subject with your hubby?

Nunca te conformes con la miseria ni te detengas en problemas que pueden resolverse. Ningún matrimonio es perfecto y ninguna relación está exenta de altibajos.

Si quieres algo, tienes que mostrar voluntad de luchar por ello.

I can’t be the one to tell you with 100% certainty whether vale la pena salvar su matrimonio. Eso es algo que sabes muy bien. Todo lo que puedo darte es mi consejo genuino.

But I hope with all my heart that you’ve taken this seriously and that you’ll work on this both individually and as a couple.

Si hay seguir amando por ambas partes, no hay duda de que os debéis fidelidad a vuestros votos.

Véase también: Cómo ser mejor esposa: 20 consejos eficaces para mejorar su matrimonio