Nunca tuviste que cuestionar mi lealtad, pero yo hice bien en cuestionar la tuya

Desde el primer día, desde la primera vez que me dijiste que me querías, siempre te he repetido que lo único que podrías hacer para que dejara de quererte es engañarme. Y aquí estamos, te las arreglaste para haz que te deje.

Estaba todo sobre ti. Don’t you remember? How much I smiled whenever you should come walking my way. I would always try to memorize your every move when you were walking toward me. I would remember your smile, the way your eyes wouldn’t move away from me and the way your arms were spreading while you were welcoming me into your hug.

Today, whenever I remember the time and effort I gave you, I start crying. It’s just the bitterness that’s eating me alive every time I want to think of you. Like it’s telling me that it was all my fault and that I shouldn’t have let you into my life. But who would have known?

En aquel momento, lo eras todo para mí. There are still days when I wake up hoping that I will turn to the other side of my bed and that I will see your face, how you’re still sleeping so peacefully. I wish for all those things to just disappear, I wish for that moment of truth to vanish from my memory and I wish that the idiot I loved wasn’t an idiot.

No hay nada más importante para mí que la lealtad. Con la lealtad, pones a tu pareja como prioridad y decides que vosotros dos sois más importantes que una aventura o un rollo de una noche. Aún recuerdo cuando me mirabas a los ojos, muy serio, diciéndome que yo era la única persona que querías en tu vida y siempre te enfadabas conmigo cuando te preguntaba si me ibas a engañar.

I was right for asking, wasn’t I? That one-night stand was more important to you than all our kisses and the months, nights and mornings we spent with each other. That one mistake made you lose someone who was ready to love you until death do us part. I was the person who was ready to do anything to make you happy—but that doesn’t include forgiving you.

Nunca te perdonaré. Tal vez algún día, cuando haya dejado de sollozar y sea demasiado viejo para recordar los detalles, lo haga. perdonarte. But believe me when I say that you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve to be forgiven, for you are a monster.

No exagero. Estabas esperando a que viniera a ver cómo tu cabeza había encontrado el camino entre sus piernas y eso me bastó para etiquetarte de monstruo mientras te recuerde.

Don’t even try to apologize anymore. I have heard enough. “I’m sorry,” and, “I was drunk,” and, “I didn’t mean it,” and, “You know I love you” is everything that I got from you. But the only thing I actually wanted was for you to vanish out of my life at that exact moment.

But thank you, truly and full-heartedly—thank you. I owe you one. You made me see the real you and you helped me see with eyes unclouded that the man I once loved is nothing more than a beast who can’t shake the sexual tension between him and his ‘friend’. Thank you for helping me remember how important loyalty truly is and that people like you shouldn’t even bother to stay in my life.

Maybe one day it won’t be so hard anymore. I like to believe that there are faithful people out there. People who will hazme una prioridad por encima de todos los demás, personas para las que seré importante y especial. Guardaré mi amor y mi atención para cuando llegue el momento de dárselos.

Hasta ese día, recordaré aquella vez que nos abandonaste de la forma más asquerosa que jamás he visto. Gracias por hacerlo para que yo pudiera irme. Quizás algún día incluso te perdone y no seas más que un recuerdo.