9 razones por las que tu novio narcisista siempre te echa la culpa a ti

¿Has estado alguna vez en una relación en la que nada de lo que haces es suficiente?

Where you’re the only one guilty for all of your problems and where somehow, you always end up taking responsibility even for the things you didn’t do?

If you can relate your romance with all of the above, you’re probably dealing with a narcissistic boyfriend who constantly puts all the blame on you.

Naturally, you can’t help but wonder what makes him do that.

Read on and you’ll find the answers you need!

1. You’re a suitable victim

Don’t get me wrong—the last thing I’m trying to do is blame you for falling into the hands of a narcissist.

You’re this awful man’s víctima, he is the only one responsible for the way he’s treating you and nothing you did makes you guilty for his toxic actions.

However, the fact is that a narcissist won’t attack just anyone and they don’t choose their targets randomly, without any reason whatsoever.

Don’t take this as an insult but a narcissist searches for weak women he can mentally and emotionally abuse without much trouble.

Estas personas son hábiles manipuladores y tienen habilidades psicológicas extremadamente buenas.

Merodean en busca de la víctima más adecuada.

It is possible that you’re dealing with some deeply rooted emotional traumas even you’re not aware of, that you display signos de una mujer insegura or that you’ve been taught that you’re always to blame ever since your childhood.

Either way, the point is that this guy would probably never chase a woman he knows he couldn’t manipulate and sadly, you’re not her.

2. Su necesidad de ser perfecto

If you’re wondering why narcisistas never take the blame for their behavior, the answer is pretty simple—they can’t admit to anyone that they’re guilty, including themselves.

Of course, this doesn’t justify them because deep down, a narcissist knows exactly what he’s doing.

The first thing you need to know about this type of person is that they’re driven by their desire to be flawless.

Su prioridad es que todos los que les rodean les vean lo más perfectos posible.

Por lo tanto, si un narcisista admitiera alguna vez que se equivoca, significaría que tiene su parte de imperfecciones, como cualquier otra persona del mundo.

In fact, that would make him average and that is something he couldn’t stand.

Este tipo quiere ser percibido como mejor que los demás.

This is especially the case with his romantic relationships—he wants to convince you that he is above you in every way possible and that it is literally impossible for him to make any kind of a mistake.

You and most people have no trouble admitting that you’re just human beings made of flesh and blood and that you’re prone to making wrong moves from time to time.

Sin embargo, este hombre preferiría morir antes que permitir que dejes de verle como superior al resto del mundo.

3. Sabe que tiene la culpa

Contrariamente a su comportamiento, lo cierto es que este hombre es perfectamente consciente de que él es el culpable de que tu relationship isn’t working and that you’re nothing but his victim.

He doesn’t think you’re responsible for your relationship problems—he is just doing his best to make you believe that you’re the sinful one.

Por favor, ten esto en mente la próxima vez que empieces a buscar excusas para este hombre.

Stop thinking that he is a poor soul, that his narcissism is stronger than him and that he can’t do anything to successfully control it.

Sí, se trata de un trastorno grave de la personalidad.

However, his mental and emotional conditions don’t make him unaware of his actions.

4. Justifica su comportamiento tóxico

Otra razón por la que tu pareja narcisista te echa toda la culpa es el hecho de que lo ve como una salida a su sucia conciencia.

He sees all of his wrongdoings and knows that he is responsible for the hell your relationship is in but he chooses to ignore that tiny voice in the back of his head that’s telling him to take responsibility and instead, decides to put all the blame on you.

There is actually not much philosophy needed here; it is way easier to accuse someone else for your own misdeeds than to confront them and admit to yourself and to the rest of the world that you’re the bad guy in the story.

Es más fácil manipule a la otra persona para que crea que es culpable que enfrentarte a tus patrones de conducta tóxicos y aceptar el hecho de que tienes un trastorno de personalidad y que necesitas ayuda para tratarlo.

5. Quiere devaluarte

A trait common to all narcissists out there is that they can’t stand being surrounded by people who love and respect themselves.

Después de todo, ¿cómo puede juega con la cabeza si sabes lo digno que eres?

Como ves, este hombre está en constante búsqueda de admiración. Necesita sentirse superior a ti para obtener la verificación de su propio valor.

Por lo tanto, un narcisista siempre hará todo lo posible para que pienses menos de ti mismo.

If he manages to convince you that you keep making one mistake after another and that you’re the one ruining your relationship, after a while, you’ll start to think of yourself as good for nothing.

According to this guy, you’re incapable of being a buena novia¿Qué más se puede esperar de ti?

No other man would put up with you and your constant failures, so you’re much better next to him—the only guy who would ever agree to love you.

Echarte toda la culpa a ti no es más que su técnica manipuladora con la que intenta devaluarte e impedir que veas tu propia valía.

Después de todo, sólo cuando te menosprecia y sólo cuando está por encima de ti puede un narcisista sentirse bien consigo mismo.

6. Intenta minimizar tus sentimientos

“You’re too weak. You’re overly emotional. You’re exaggerating. It isn’t that big of a deal.”

¿Cuántas veces has oído estas frases dirigidas a ti por parte de tu novio?

Apuesto a que ha ocurrido más a menudo de lo que te gustaría admitir.

Even when this guy has the decency to admit that he did something he shouldn’t have, he’ll find a way to turn the tables and accuse you of provoking him and making him do it.

Te suena familiar, ¿verdad?

Bueno, él está haciendo todo esto como un intento de minimizar tus sentimientos y, eventualmente, hacerte cuestionar tu propia cordura.

After you spend some time under his influence, you’ll start wondering whether you really are taking everything too personal.

¿Tiene razón? ¿Estás exagerando y haciendo un escándalo de la nada?

Estos y otros pensamientos similares que tienes en realidad le están dando luz verde para continuar con su comportamiento.

They give him the chance to keep on treating you badly and the best part is that you won’t be saying a word about it anymore.

7. Quiere que olvides el motivo inicial de una discusión

Every dating expert will advise you to tell your partner about what’s bothering you, to point out the things you don’t like in his behavior and if you two have healthy communication, you’ll sort everything out in no time.

However, when you’re dating a narcissist, this is utterly impossible.

Incluso cuando intentas llamar la atención a este hombre por sus acciones, convierte la discusión en un juego de culpas y, finalmente, te hace olvidar la razón de la discusión.

Not only that—when he finds a way to accuse you of being guilty of whatever he did, somehow, you end up being the one who apologizes.

En lugar de resolver el problema inicial, los dos acaban peleándose por quién tiene la culpa.

Por eso, pasado un tiempo, evitas iniciar cualquier tipo de discusión con él porque sabes cómo acabará todo.

You let him get away with his behavior because you know that if you open up the topic you want to resolve, you’ll just end up trapped in an endless circle of trying to prove who is guilty instead of coming up with the solution to your problem.

8. Le da poder sobre ti

El culpable es siempre el inferior. Y esto es un hecho tu novio narcisista lo sabe muy bien.

You’re the one who has to apologize, the one who has to find a way to make things right, the one who is seeking forgiveness and the one who has to accept all the terms and conditions which the other person puts in front of them.

En este caso, este papel le corresponde a usted.

Por otro lado, aquí el perjudicado es tu pareja.

Por lo tanto, todo tiene que seguir sus reglas si quieres obtener su perdón.

La mejor parte es que él es la persona más grande aquí, resolviéndote de tus pecados.

No importa lo grandes que sean los errores que cometas, él siempre está ahí para darte una segunda oportunidad que tienes que suplicar.

En este tipo de escenario, que no se parece en nada a la realidad, tu pareja tiene todo el poder sobre ti.

Y esa era su intención inicial desde el principio.

9. He doesn’t care about you

This is probably the last thing you want to hear but the harsh truth is that your boyfriend puts all the responsibility for the problems in your relationship on you for one simple reason—he doesn’t give a damn about how all of this will make you feel.

He doesn’t care whether your conscience will eat you alive, if you’ll start thinking poorly of yourself or if all of this guilt-tripping will leave some kind of permanent damage on your emotional health.

Lo único importante para él es sentirse bien consigo mismo y alcanzar sus objetivos.