4 razones por las que las rupturas situacionales duelen más que las relaciones reales
I’m so sick and tired of all those situationships. Those in-between phases of relationships, the gray area where two people aren’t quite committed, but still care about each other a great deal.
I’m tired of talking with strangers about my hobbies, goals, likes and dislikes over and over again..but that isn’t even the worst part of it!
If you’ve ever experienced a situationship breakup, you know what I’m talking about.
There are plenty of reasons why these gray areas hurt more than any actual relationship, and the whole essence of it lies in two things: It’s POTENTIAL and your INVESTMENT.
1. Te volviste adicto a ellos
The pain isn’t about the amount of time you were together. It never was. The real pain is about the intensity. You’re on and then you’re off again – ALTAS locas y luego BAJAS locas.
It’s your first few months of romance and you’re filled with love drugs (oxytocin, dopamine, beta-endorphin and serotonin), and as with every drug – you become addicted to it. So, once your relationship ends abruptly, you’re cut off on a high.
Being in a heavy withdrawal is what makes the pain so INTENSE. On the other hand, when you’re in a relationship, the initial romance decreases as time flies. You create tolerance for this love drug and there are no crazy highs that can hurt you now.
Kimberly Rae, coach de relaciones, habla mucho de este tema en su cuenta de TikTok, así que quizá quieras echarle un vistazo.
2. Te involucraste emocionalmente
La fea verdad de toda relación es que ninguno de los dos está seguro de lo que quiere y, sin embargo, las emociones tienden a dispararse.
You’re in too deep to just be friends, but not quite there for a real relationship. Even though you’re aware that being emotionally invested in this situationship is the literal definition of self-sabotage, you just can’t help yourself but to continue.
Think about it. In a situationship, you’re putting in all the effort and emotional investment without getting any of the rewards that come with a real relationship. You’re making the same level of commitment, but you’re not getting the same level of commitment back.
Y a juzgar por este Tweet mucha gente está de acuerdo con esto.
La consecuencia natural es el dolor. Mucho DOLOR. Because all the time you were holding onto the hope that it will eventually turn into a real relationship, but it didn’t, and now you’ve drained all the emotions you’ve had.
3. Tenías el potencial
When you’re in a situationship, you’re basically dating potential and when it ends, you’re dealing with the death of that potential. So, you’re probably thinking why would this be the cause of why situationships hurt so much.
Bueno, míralo como la muerte de lo que podría haber sido. When you’re in a situationship, all you actually have are the possibilities of what might be (the fake scenarios you create everytime you go to sleep).
“Hm, this guy loves to travel and go to music festivals and I love to travel and go to music festivals..I can only imagine how fun and adventurous life we’re going to have.”
So, all you have is this idealized fantasy of what could be and when it ends it’s painful that this fantasy never got off the ground.
It’s easy to romanticize a relationship that could’ve been perfect rather than one you knew for a fact wasn’t.
4. Necesita un cierre
In a real relationship, when it’s over, it’s over. You can go your separate ways, mourn the end of the relationship, and move on.
This, however, isn’t the same for situationships. It’s the hope that hurts and disappoints you. You’re constantly thinking, “Oh okay, I haven’t heard of them today, but maybe tomorrow they’ll text me.”
The whole ending makes you feel ridiculous and like the grieving isn’t justified. Also, it doesn’t help that they seem completely unbothered which further invalidates how you feel.
Pero recuerda, disrespect is all the closure you’ll ever need.
El cierre que necesitaba
The fact that you’re in a situationship gaslighting yourself into believing you have a future with this person already means you’re in a vulnerable position.
Then the rejection comes. It’s like betting everything you own on something that has a 50% chance it will fail.
Así que, sí, resumiendo: the title and the length of time doesn’t determine the threshold of your pain. Las emociones se miden por la experiencia y, por desgracia, en las situaciones de pareja suele haber muchas.
