4 motivi per cui le rotture di situazioni fanno più male delle relazioni vere e proprie
I’m so sick and tired of all those situationships. Those in-between phases of relationships, the gray area where two people aren’t quite committed, but still care about each other a great deal.
I’m tired of talking with strangers about my hobbies, goals, likes and dislikes over and over again..but that isn’t even the worst part of it!
If you’ve ever experienced a situationship breakup, you know what I’m talking about.
There are plenty of reasons why these gray areas hurt more than any actual relationship, and the whole essence of it lies in two things: It’s POTENTIAL and your INVESTMENT.
1. Siete diventati dipendenti da loro
The pain isn’t about the amount of time you were together. It never was. The real pain is about the intensity. You’re on and then you’re off again – Alti assurdi e poi bassi assurdi.
It’s your first few months of romance and you’re filled with love drugs (oxytocin, dopamine, beta-endorphin and serotonin), and as with every drug – you become addicted to it. So, once your relationship ends abruptly, you’re cut off on a high.
Being in a heavy withdrawal is what makes the pain so INTENSE. On the other hand, when you’re in a relationship, the initial romance decreases as time flies. You create tolerance for this love drug and there are no crazy highs that can hurt you now.
Kimberly Rae, una coach di relazioni, parla molto di questo argomento sul suo account TikTok, quindi vi consigliamo di dargli un'occhiata.
2. Siete stati investiti emotivamente
La brutta verità di ogni relazione è che nessuno dei due è sicuro di ciò che vuole, eppure le emozioni tendono a salire.
You’re in too deep to just be friends, but not quite there for a real relationship. Even though you’re aware that being emotionally invested in this situationship is the literal definition of self-sabotage, you just can’t help yourself but to continue.
Think about it. In a situationship, you’re putting in all the effort and emotional investment without getting any of the rewards that come with a real relationship. You’re making the same level of commitment, but you’re not getting the same level of commitment back.
E a giudicare da questo Tweet molte persone sono d'accordo.
La cosa naturale che ne consegue è il dolore. Un sacco di dolore. Because all the time you were holding onto the hope that it will eventually turn into a real relationship, but it didn’t, and now you’ve drained all the emotions you’ve had.
3. Avevate il potenziale
When you’re in a situationship, you’re basically dating potential and when it ends, you’re dealing with the death of that potential. So, you’re probably thinking why would this be the cause of why situationships hurt so much.
Beh, vedila come la morte di ciò che avrebbe potuto essere. When you’re in a situationship, all you actually have are the possibilities of what might be (the fake scenarios you create everytime you go to sleep).
“Hm, this guy loves to travel and go to music festivals and I love to travel and go to music festivals..I can only imagine how fun and adventurous life we’re going to have.”
So, all you have is this idealized fantasy of what could be and when it ends it’s painful that this fantasy never got off the ground.
It’s easy to romanticize a relationship that could’ve been perfect rather than one you knew for a fact wasn’t.
4. È necessaria una chiusura
In a real relationship, when it’s over, it’s over. You can go your separate ways, mourn the end of the relationship, and move on.
This, however, isn’t the same for situationships. It’s the hope that hurts and disappoints you. You’re constantly thinking, “Oh okay, I haven’t heard of them today, but maybe tomorrow they’ll text me.”
The whole ending makes you feel ridiculous and like the grieving isn’t justified. Also, it doesn’t help that they seem completely unbothered which further invalidates how you feel.
Ma ricordate, disrespect is all the closure you’ll ever need.
La chiusura di cui avevate bisogno
The fact that you’re in a situationship gaslighting yourself into believing you have a future with this person already means you’re in a vulnerable position.
Then the rejection comes. It’s like betting everything you own on something that has a 50% chance it will fail.
Quindi, sì, per farla breve: the title and the length of time doesn’t determine the threshold of your pain. Le emozioni si misurano con l'esperienza e, purtroppo, le situazioni di coppia tendono ad averne in abbondanza.
