¿Por qué se distancian los hombres después de la intimidad? 8 razones comunes
Why do guys distance themselves after intimacy? It’s the million-dollar question every woman wants to be answered. The good news is that if you stay with us, you’ll finally have that long-sought answer revealed.
Todo iba tan bien y entonces simplemente se alejó. ¿Fue algo que hiciste? ¿O sólo fuiste un enganche, una aventura casual para él después de todo?
Aunque digan que las mujeres son criaturas complicadas, entender a los hombres a veces también puede ser un trabajo duro.
Sin embargo, honestamente hablando, la dificultad no es tan sorprendente teniendo en cuenta las diferencias físicas entre ambos y la historia (significativamente diferente) de los sexos.
¿Por qué cambian los chicos cuando te acuestas con ellos?
Before we start dispensing dating advice and exploring possible reasons for guys’ odd behavior after they get physical with a girl, we should explain the chemical factor first. Sex changes a man’s mind and, most of the time, they aren’t even aware of it.
Después de pasar una noche increíble con tu hombre, has notado como él como que se apaga? He becomes disinterested in having physical (or any) contact at all. This can be frustrating for any woman. So, what’s actually going on?
Al parecer es un químico apagado. Following orgasm, men experience a refractory period – the recovery phase.
Las investigaciones demuestran que durante la eyaculación los hombres liberan serotonina, oxitocina, vasopresina y la hormona prolactina.
La prolactina suprime la secreción de dopamina (necesaria para experimentar deseo y motivación) y está relacionada con las sensaciones de somnolencia y satisfacción sexual.
In general, releasing said hormones lowers testosterone levels (which also drives romantic and sexual feelings). To simplify – it temporarily decreases a man’s desire for sex.
Oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and vasopressin (both released during orgasm) are also connected to the feeling of sleepiness, contributing to the unaroused post-orgasm state. That’s por qué los hombres se alejan después del sexo.
So, if you’ve noticed that your man acts differently after sex, now you know the reason. You can have great sex and suddenly feel like he’s not into you, so keep this in mind.
The bottom line is that if everything else in your relationship is normal, you don’t need to worry. Just give your man some time to ‘recover’ and gather his own thoughts and feelings, and you’ll see that he’ll reach out and vienen a ti él mismo.
¿Por qué los hombres se vuelven distantes después de la intimidad?
There are many cases, though, when this chemical factor alone isn’t enough to explain a man’s behavior. Unfortunately, sometimes men pull away after being intimate with a woman because they didn’t want to start una relación seria con ella en primer lugar.
They do it only to satisfy their own physical needs, that’s they want to fool around a little bit and when they realize that the other side has started falling in love with them, they immediately distance themselves.
There are also some other possible reasons why guys become distant after intimacy, and you’ll find them all out only if you keep reading below.
Ya no siente el subidón de la persecución inicial (ha conseguido lo que quería).
A los hombres les gusta perseguir a las mujeres por varias razones. En primer lugar, les ayuda a determinar cuánto les gusta realmente una mujer. Además, disfrutan con la competitividad, el flirteo y el jugar a juegos is fun for them, and it’s good for their ego.
They like the feeling of winning a woman’s heart over other men and knowing a woman fell for them by being intimate with her. That’s when the rush sometimes stops.
It doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not into you, it’s just that he proved something to himself and the initial excitement has waned.
Sin embargo, algunos hombres se alejan porque pierden completamente el interés después de alcanzar su objetivo. Eso significa simplemente que nunca el para ti.
When a man is attracted to you it’s natural he thinks mostly about sex. Basically, he invests his time and energy in keeping you entertained and seducing you.
Consciously or subconsciously he expects something (and that’s sex) in return. If he gets lo que quiere...su curiosidad está satisfecha.
This is the reason why it’s important to play the game a little bit longer and make him wait, slowly enamorarme de tie interesarse por otras cosas que no sean el sexo.
Eso seguramente hará que quiera comprometerse de forma más seria y relación duradera contigo.
For things to become more serious, he needs to know you as a person and like you. If you challenge him, chances are he will realize you’re worth the work he’s putting in.
Hacerle saber que intimar es algo que consideras especial hará que todo sea aún más excepcional.
Está huyendo de una relación comprometida
It’s important to understand the difference between physical and non-physical attraction.
Atracción física es lo que los hombres o las mujeres sienten por el sexo opuesto basándose puramente en la atracción física.
Non-physical attraction is an attraction to personality and all the things that don’t include the body and physical attributes.
Believe it or not, men are interested in the non-physical side of things just like women, but what’s different is their view on sex. Let me explain.
Cuando una mujer se interesa por un hombre a un nivel no físico, lo más probable es que también se interese físicamente y quiera acostarse con él.
On the other hand, when she’s turned off by a guy’s personality – even though he’s hot – she probably won’t sleep with the guy.
It’s not the same for men. It’s common for men to sleep with women they’re physically attracted to whether they are non-physically attracted to them o no.
Resumiendo: el tipo se aleja because he’s only interested in sex and once he gets it there’s nothing to make him stay.
If he doesn’t like the girl’s personality enough, he doesn’t consider una relación duradera. This might hurt but it’s a possible answer to the question “why do guys distance themselves after intimacy?”.
RELACIONADO: Si no le envías un mensaje, él te lo enviará a ti: 20 razones por las que nunca envía mensajes primero
Nunca planeó acostarse contigo más de una vez.
Esto enlaza con la razón anterior. Sólo quería una aventura de una noche. ¿Cómo puede saberlo de antemano?
Busca pistas en sus mensajes de texto, en sus publicaciones en las redes sociales y en las cosas que dice.
¿De qué habla? ¿Menciona el sexo en la primera cita?
Otras cosas a las que debe prestar atención son: si he’s checking other girls out when he thinks you’re not looking, whether he really listens to what you’re saying if he calls you on very late dates, and how he acts after you’ve had sex for the first time.
Esta duele, pero a veces, los hombres están buscando específicamente un enganche y nada más.
Of course, the right thing to do would be to tell you this upfront, but this may mean no sex. That’s how you know el tipo es un jugador.
Las cosas van demasiado deprisa y eso le asusta.
It’s possible that you’re moving too fast for him. If you spent the night together and the next morning you cook him breakfast and start planning your weekend together – that might scare him away.
Ve más despacio y espera a conoceros un poco mejor. A veces a los hombres les lleva más tiempo enamorarse o admitirse a sí mismos they’re in love.
If you’ve only been together for only a short period of time, you may not have spent enough time together to make decisions that will affect your everyday life.
Esperad a conoceros mejor para tomar decisiones que os incluyan a los dos. Pasar tiempo juntos acabará por aclarar las cosas y estaréis seguros de si realmente le gustas o no.
You’re acting overly attached
El apego y la necesidad pueden ser para muchas personas, especially for men. So, it’s better to put down the phone and skip his phone call from time to time.
Maybe you really like him and want to share everything with him but think about whether it’s too soon. Neediness is considered unattractive according to current social norms.
That’s why jugando duro es tan popular.
Why do men pull away when they detect clinginess? Clinginess can stem from a person’s lack of other interests and hobbies.
You should never neglect your own life and totally commit your time to him, not even if he’s a great guy who treats you the best way possible. Everyone should have their own space and time for themself.
Aferrarse también puede significar demasiado celoso y falta de autoestima.
It’s important to recognize that and work on yourself. Feeling independent is a great feeling that can build your self-esteem and make you more attractive.
It’s reassuring when people can feel good on their own and care for themself without looking for somebody else to make the move or tell them what to do.
He’s scared of intimacy
It’s not uncommon for men to be asustado de enamorarse. Hay muchas razones posibles por las que los hombres tienen miedo para entrar en una relación comprometida.
Tal vez tuvo una vida amorosa turbulenta y una mala ruptura en el pasado. Tal vez tiene problemas que nunca abordó. We live in a society that encourages men to suppress their feelings so it’s not surprising that men can be scared of emotions.
For men, sex is separate from being emotionally intimate. Being emotionally intimate isn’t always easy. It reveals our weaknesses and shows us things we’re maybe not ready to confront.
Algunos hombres son más conscientes de ello y pueden comunicar las cosas con claridad; otros son totalmente inconscientes y acaban actuando como gilipollas. Sea como sea, nunca debes dejar que nadie te falte al respeto.
If he had a long-term relationship before you and didn’t give himself time to move on properly, it’s better for you not to engage in a serious relationship with him too soon.
There’s no relación sana without letting go of the fear of intimacy. If he’s not able to do that, then it’s better to move on or you’ll end up heartbroken.
Relacionado: 12 señales de que se arrepiente de haberse acostado contigo (y qué hacer)
He hasn’t made up his mind yet
If a guy distances himself after intimacy it doesn’t always mean he’s not into you or something is wrong. Maybe it’s just too soon for him to have decided whether le gustas de esa manera o no.
A veces hay factores externos que deben tenerse en cuenta, como por ejemplo si tu posible relación sería a distancia, o si tu bagaje cultural es muy diferente.
No todo el mundo está dispuesto a dar un vuelco a su vida tras pasar poco tiempo juntos.
He’s afraid of how much he loves you
Vale, sé que suena increíble y tópico, pero es posible.
As I said, men are conditioned to hide their feelings and strive to be as tough as possible and that doesn’t include cuddling after sex and making you breakfast in bed.
There’s a reason those gestures are considered romantic (are rare). Most men feel awkward thinking about doing something like that – even if they want to!
He’s probably falling in love with you and if it’s his first time, I think that it’s pretty normal that it scares the hell out of him. In his head, this means he won’t be able to control his emotions and that can lead him to get hurt.
Este escenario puede explicar por qué los hombres se alejan y sus comportamiento evasivosobre todo si intuye que su al hombre le gustas de verdad.
¿Qué hacer cuando se aleja?
Just when you thought that it’s time to take your relationship to the next level, your man has started distancing himself. I know this can be pretty confusing, especially if this is the first time you feel that your man is alejándose.
En primer lugar, debes saber que la paciencia es tu mayor aliada. Tienes que darle tiempo y espacio y dejar que él acuda a ti primero.
Sé que la sola idea de perder tu amado puede ser desgarrador, pero tienes que creer en tu amor y esperar que el tiempo esté de tu parte. Tienes que ser fuerte y paciente para salvar tu propia salud emocional y mental.
Además de ser paciente, below are a few more short but efficient relationship advice on how to cope with your loved one’s pulling away.
Dale espacio
Dándole espacio evitas parecer necesitada y pones a prueba su verdadero interés por ti. Si realmente le gustas...él hará el siguiente movimiento.
If he doesn’t, it’s time for you para seguir adelante. There’s no reason why you should invest yourself in a guy who doesn’t care enough.
Pídale su opinión sincera
If his behavior is really bugging you and you want to find out the truth, be open and direct and ask him why he’s acting like that?
Don’t use an accusing tone of voice and try to not sound like you’re attacking him. Maybe his answer will surprise you – you never know.
Continuar con el juego
Si crees que la chispa sigue ahí, a pesar de su comportamiento, sigue jugando. Haz que te persiga. Show him you don’t need him.
Live your life as you would without him. Go out and have fun, don’t pay attention, and see what happens.
En conjunto
I hope I’ve given you an answer to the question “why do guys distance themselves after intimacy?” and that now you know how to deal with it.
Importante consejos sobre relaciones ALERT: don’t ever normalize comportamiento irrespetuoso and before you decide to be intimate with someone ask yourself if you really want to do it, or whether you feel like it’s something that’s required of you.
Women should be able to have sex for enjoyment’s sake and not as a way of proving something or conforming to the norm.
Embrace your intuition and your sexuality and don’t let anyone, especially not your loved one, control your life. Remember, relaciones sanas no se basan en el control o el condicionamiento, sino en la comprensión, la honestidad y el respeto.
