¿Quién es Esther Perel y por qué sus consejos sobre relaciones son tendencia en TikTok?
Si has estado desplazándote por TikTok en los últimos días, seguro que te has topado con los vídeos de Esther Perel hablando sobre relaciones de pareja.
Sé que me hizo cuestionar todo lo que creía saber sobre el amor y las relaciones.
But let me give you a brief intro for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about.
Información general
Esther Perel es una psicoterapeuta belga experta en relaciones. Entre otras cosas, aborda dos necesidades humanas aparentemente enfrentadas: la necesidad de seguridad y la necesidad de libertad.
En realidad, explorar la paradoja central del amor es lo que la hizo famosa.
“Love rests on two pillars: surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness. One does not exist without the other. With too much distance, there can be no connection. But too much merging eradicates the separateness of two distinct individuals.”
Pero no fue por esto por lo que empezó a ser tendencia.
A few days ago, TheMindHub posted several short clips of Esthel’s 2017 interview on the Scandinavian talk show Skavlan, where the expert explains the psychology behind cheating, breaks the “one and only” myth, and gives us some hard truths about romantic love.
Ever since TheMindHub revived the interview, the hashtag with the therapist’s name has reached 19,2M views. And the numbers continue to grow.
So, what’s so special about Esther Perel’s views on relationships?
La idea de una persona para siempre
He aquí una píldora difícil de tragar: you don’t have to spend the rest of your life with one person. The concept of “one and only” is outdated and doesn’t work so well in practice.
@themindhub Do you believe in the “one and only”?#EstherPerel #Skavlan #psicología #psicólogo 1TP5Relación 1TP5Relaciónconsejo 1TP5Amor #foryoupage #fyp #fypシ ♬ Twenty One Pilots Hometown Slowed Sad Part – Blasteran MaLaikat
Many argue against this opinion. But if you look at everything around you, you’ll see that Esther couldn’t be more right.
Of course, nobody is forbidding you from being with the same person “‘till death do you part.” She isn’t saying you can’t love one person for life – she is just stating that for many couples, love runs out sooner or later.
That’s why in modern society, we marry “until love dies.” And you know what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
After all, it’s much better to end your marriage instead of growing old in a loveless relationship.
You have to admit that the concept of monogamy really has changed. Now it means, “one person at a time” (vs. “one person for an entire life”).
El tiempo vuela, creces como persona y las normas sociales también cambian.
Basically, what Esther is telling you is to enjoy the moment. Let people be special to you at this exact moment – that’s more than enough.
¿Por qué hacemos trampas?
@themindhub La verdadera razón por la que la gente engaña #EstherPerel #Skavlan #psicología #psicólogo 1TP5Relación 1TP5Relaciónconsejo #erapia 1TP5Amor #foryoupage #fyp #fypシ ♬ Twenty One Pilots Hometown Slowed Sad Part – Blasteran MaLaikat
Those who criticize Esther’s point of view might say that she is justifying cheating. Well, she’s definitely not – she’s just explaining the psicología que hay detrás.
Being unfaithful is about desire – not about the sex itself. In fact, an emotional affair that is all about desire can sometimes be more dangerous for a relationship than physical infidelity.
And what is this desire about? It’s about feeling wanted again.
It’s about proving to yourself that you can draw someone’s attention. It’s about all the things people feel deprived of in their primary relationships.
Sí, en muchos casos, engañar es curar un ego roto.
Básicamente, afirma que the underlying reason for cheating is our pursuit of something we’re missing – either in our relationship or in ourselves.
“Often, when you’re attracted by the gaze of another, it isn’t just because you want to leave the person that you are with. But it is because you want to leave the person that you have yourself become.
And it isn’t just that you want to meet somebody else, but you want to meet another self.”
¿Compatibilidad por encima de amor?
@daily_tao ♥️ #estherperel 1TP5Amorconsejo 1TP5Metas de relación 1TP5Relaciónconsejo #reallove #reallovestory ♬ original sound – Jessie Ася Kanzer ☯️
Here is another piece of relationship wisdom from Esther Perel: there is much more to life than loving another person. No, she isn’t saying that romantic love isn’t important for a happy life.
Por el contrario, afirma que la calidad de nuestras relaciones determina la calidad de nuestra vida.
Esther sólo quiere que dejes de idealizar las mariposas y la emoción de estar enamorado.
Por grande que sea esta sensación, hay historias de amor increíbles que nunca se convirtieron en historias para toda la vida.
You can’t build a life with someone just because you share incredible chemistry. It’s romantic in theory, but in practice, life is not all sunshine and rainbows.
It’s about paying your mortgage, going through family emergencies, dealing with health problems, co-parenting, fighting financial battles…
Al fin y al cabo, tu compañero de vida tiene que ser alguien con quien te lleves bien. Debe ser alguien con quien compartas los mismos objetivos y visiones del mundo.
Entonces, ¿Esther antepone la compatibilidad al amor? ¿O es que siempre hemos tenido una idea equivocada de lo que es el amor?
Do you agree with Esther’s views? Give me your thoughts on the matter.
