5 maneras de lidiar con hombres emocionalmente no disponibles

Enamorarse de un hombre emocionalmente no disponible sometimes seems like you’re dating a wall.

You’re doing your best, trying so hard and giving all of yourself to your relationship and it seems like it’s all in vain.

It seems like you’re screaming at a wall and all you hear is your own echo.

Y hay tantos características de los hombres emocionalmente inasequibles que a veces parece imposible comprender si nuestra pareja realmente no está disponible emocionalmente.

Algunas de las principales son que sea un mal comunicador, que siempre esté lleno de excusas, que sea arrogante y no haga más que hablar, que busque la perfección y que sea un mentiroso.

But sometimes, emotionally unavailable man can overcome whatever it is that’s bothering them because there are two types of unavailability—chronic and temporary.

La indisponibilidad crónica está causada por una enfermedad mental, una adicción o una infancia problemática, mientras que la temporal procede de hacer de algo una prioridad mayor que la relación.

Algunas personas simplemente tienen miedo de enamorarse y que les vuelvan a hacer daño, por lo que se vuelven emocionalmente inaccesibles.

Sometimes it’s almost impossible to tell if it’s something temporary that can be solved with time or if it’s chronic.

Si tu hombre vale la pena y crees firmemente que lo hace, aquí están todas las maneras en que puedes lidiar con los hombres emocionalmente no disponibles.

1. Escuchar lo que tiene que decir

So many women out there fall in love with someone and when it’s already too late, they realize that he is not who they believed he was.

And chances are great that he was telling her the truth all the time, but because of the love and honeymoon phase that strikes in the early beginning of a relationship, they just didn’t see it coming.

Si ya tienes dudas sobre él, presta atención a su forma de comunicarse contigo y con otras personas.

Escúchale cuando hable de sus ex o del pasado porque ahí hay muchas pistas.

If he never takes the blame for his actions, he could be chronically emotionally unavailable and there’s just no point in trying to save him.

But, if he admits that there were certain things he could’ve done differently or that his ex broke him and he never believed he’ll enamorarse de nuevopodría tratarse de una indisponibilidad temporal. En ese caso, ármate de paciencia y amor.

2. Don’t push him – he needs to heal on his own

Tanto como quieres arreglarlo y ayudarle a superarlo, necesita hacerlo por sí mismo. Tiene que tomar esa decisión por sí mismo y hacerlo por sí mismo.

Lo único que puedes hacer ahora es darle apoyo y demostrarle que no eres tú quien le ha roto, que no eres tú quien le ha hecho levantar sus muros.

And with time, he’ll come around. But if you keep pushing him, his walls will only grow thicker.

Por eso el número cuatro de esta lista es realmente importante cuando se trata de un hombre emocionalmente inaccesible.

3. Don’t apologize for your feelings and wishes

Your feelings are yours to feel and your wishes are yours to wish. Don’t ever apologize for them—not to him, not to yourself and not to anyone else out there.

Literalmente, no hay nadie que haya estado en tu pellejo y no hay nadie que pueda soñar como tú y amar como tú.

Por eso tus emociones, tus sueños y tus deseos forman parte de ti. Son lo que te hace tan único.

And don’t be ashamed if you are dreaming about having a huge family and a bunch of children running around. Don’t be ashamed if you are not dreaming about children at all.

It’s your choice to do so and if you are respecting his choices (like building walls and staying behind them), he needs to respect yours.

If by any chance he is making you feel less worthy because of your dreams or he’s making fun of them, same like your feelings, he is not worth it.

It’s one thing to be emotionally unavailable, but it’s a completely different one to be an asshole.

4. Mantén tu independencia y felicidad como prioridad

When you are dealing with such men, it’s important that you keep your independence a priority.

I know that you love him, you wouldn’t be with him if you didn’t in the first place.

I know that you want to make him your life, but it’s incredibly important that you don’t do it.

Hazle partícipe en su lugar, pero sigue persiguiendo tus sueños, tu felicidad y tu futuro.

Al hacerlo, le darás espacio para crecer y trabajar sobre sí mismo.

You will show him that you are not trying to change him and that that’s something he needs to do on his own.

Esto es importante porque verá que no eres como nadie que haya conocido, que eres tu propia mujer con sus propios sueños y su propia vida.

With time, he will want to be part of it because there is something about you that attracted him in the beginning—your independence and your will to live.

And another reason why this is important is that you don’t want to give him too much power over you.

Sometimes these things simply don’t work out and this is a perfect way for you to have that safety net, to have something to hold onto when you lose him.

5. Asegúrate de que es lo que realmente quieres

Above all, be sure that this is something you want to do. Be sure that you are ready to scream at the wall, that you are ready to give your love to someone who doesn’t know how to give his love to you.

Asegúrese de que está dispuesto a poner su vida amorosa en suspenso por algo que al final podría no funcionar.

Sí, tiene una pinta terrorífica y sí, existe la posibilidad de que duela mucho.

But if you’re up for it, if you are sure, keep in mind that there is nothing you can’t do when you set your mind to it. And if he is not the one for you, you can be the one for yourself.