La verdad es que no se puede cambiar a un hombre amándolo con más fuerza

Dicen que el amor lo vence todo. Pero, ¿es realmente cierto?

Cuando nos enamoramos por primera vez, tendemos a ver el mundo y a la persona que amamos a través de unas gafas de color de rosa.

We do things we usually don’t do.

It’s scientifically proven that a person in love literally feels like they’re high (yes, drug high) and don’t feel physical pain as strongly.

So, basically, when we’re in love, we’re out of our mind. And that explains a lot.

Especialmente nuestra tendencia a ver a nuestra pareja de forma idealista.

Cuando amamos a alguien, fingimos no ver sus defectos.

This is partly because we are infatuated and partly because we consciously or subconsciously know we are investing our time and love and making an effort to be with that person and we don’t want to admit to ourselves that maybe we made a mistake.

We don’t want to face reality because the truth is too painful for us.

Tenemos miedo al cambio, a sufrir o a volver a ser solteros.

That’s when we start making excuses for our partner and that’s the moment our relationship becomes doomed.

Maybe you’re thinking: ‘Están pasando por momentos difíciles,’ which in reality probably means they’re not investing in the relationship as much as you do.

The truth is that everyone is going through a tough time sometimes but it’s no excuse to stop making an effort.

Aparte de eso, hay excusas más comunes que hacemos en nuestra relación por amor, como:

Le creemos cuando dice que cambiará.

Muchos de nosotros hemos caído por esta madriguera. Dar segundas oportunidades es lo que hacemos por amor.

Realmente queremos creer que cambiará mágicamente, a pesar de ver sus acciones que forman un patrón inconfundible, una y otra vez.

Abandona la creencia y empieza a ver patrones.

En el fondo, sabes que las acciones significan mucho más que las palabras.

If he doesn’t practice what he says, he simply doesn’t care enough.

Tiene asuntos sin resolver de relaciones pasadas.

This one is so easy to believe. We’ve been there too.

Someone has hurt us before and we need time to heal properly and that’s the obvious truth.

However, if you’re not healed properly, maybe you shouldn’t enter a new relationship because you’re not ready to face your fears and pain.

Not until you’re ready to make decisions despite your previous experiences are you prepared to be in a healthy relationship and that goes for other types of relationships too, not only romantic ones—relationships with parents, friends and even yourself.

El problema no son los problemas, sino evitar afrontarlos.

He doesn’t really mean what he says when he says something mean.

Esta es una de las peores excusas que se le pueden poner a un hombre.

Este tipo de comportamiento no muestra más que pura falta de respeto.

No one should tolerate insults, especially not from their loved one. It doesn’t make sense.

If someone loves us, they care for our well-being, they don’t make our life miserable.

It’s not just something said in moments of rage or annoyance.

It’s a conscious decision to make us feel smaller. He’s just a man.

Aceptar estereotipos como éste sólo hace que sus nefastas consecuencias sean mayores.

Being a man isn’t an excuse and certainly not an excuse to be disrespectful.

Tiene su propia personalidad, voluntad de cambiar o no cambiar, el poder de elegir entre opciones, etc.

He is not programmed to behave a certain way as long as he has his free will—and he does.

Todo lo demás es pereza y no preocuparse lo suficiente.

If you’re not making an effort, you’re not just a man, you’re simply a jerk.

Do yourself a favor and quit working harder at love if there’s no mutual exchange.

The fact is, you can’t change a man by loving him harder.

We can’t change anyone if they don’t want to change in the first place. It’s sad, but it’s true.

Cuanto antes dejemos de lado los "y si...", antes encontraremos a alguien a quien realmente le importe.

Al fin y al cabo, quizá nuestra despedida sea exactamente lo que podría abrirle por fin los ojos ante sus propios defectos.

Maybe that’s something that will teach him something you already know: self-awareness is the most powerful and profound way to end suffering.