¿Sexo con amigos? Los 10 mayores secretos que nadie te contará

Por mucho que intentemos negarlo o ir en contra de ello, siempre habrá un encanto irresistible en la idea de una aventura de una noche con un mejor amigo.

A total no-strings, sex with benefits situation. In reality, you know it probably wouldn’t work but in your imagination, it’s just casual sex…

Nobody will fall in love, so what’s the harm? It’s just some light, hot fun!

What could go wrong? Why would a sexy, ‘forbidden’ hook-up with one of your close friends be such a big deal?

Las respuestas a estas preguntas son, cuando menos, abundantes. Nadie espera que una relación romántica se desarrolle a partir de una situación fwb.

Nadie planea tener sentimientos y quedarse prendado sentimentalmente de un buen amigo.

Sin embargo, ocurre más a menudo de lo que se imagina. 

Here, I’ll explain exactly what you’d be getting into along with the good, the bad and the ugly of getting into a fuck buddy situation with a friend before thinking it through.

Merece estar informado sobre las cosas que nadie le contará nunca.

Quién sabe, a lo mejor acabas cambiando de opinión y a la larga haces lo mejor para ti.

Compruébalo y decide por ti mismo si tu amistad puede sobrevivir a este experimento.

Sex With Friends… Can It Work?

According to a relationship expert, sex with friends doesn’t necessarily have to be the end of the friendship, provided that the friend is a close one and that the emotional connection is substantially strong enough to withhold such a risky move outside of the comfort of the friendship.

It isn’t the norm and it’s not always encouraged but your sex life is your own.

And you’re the ultimate judge of how equipped you are to get into a casual sex relationship with a buddy without emotions getting involved.

And I’m here to educate you on the benefits of casual sex and the dangers that follow it.

The thing is… the lines get blurred so easily and from the primera vez participa en un llamada de botín con un mejor amigo a la tercera vez, las cosas van a ser diferentes.  

El buen sexo está muy bien, pero sin reglas básicas, mucha gente se quema y se producen situaciones incómodas.

Sexual attraction doesn’t always have to turn into a sexual relationship.

Sometimes, if the lines aren’t clear and you feel the  possibility of one person getting attached, it’s best to nip it in the bud.

But does sex with a friend have to signify a funeral for your friendship? No, it doesn’t.

En primer lugar, todo depende de cómo defináis el sexo tú y tu amigo.

To some, it’s just a fulfilling activity that brings you some much-needed relaxation and a happy ending.

Y para otros, significa una profunda conexión emocional que inevitablemente conduce a algo real y genuino.

¿Estáis de acuerdo tú y tu amigo a la hora de definir lo que el sexo significa para ambos?

Y en segundo lugar, ¿cuáles son sus objetivos finales?

Is one of you secretly hoping the other one realizes that they’re in love with the other?

¿O sólo queréis pasar un buen rato sin ataduras?

My advice is to never engage in a fwb situation if you’re not both in it for the same reasons.

If one person is emotionally invested and with ulterior motives, it’s bound to come crashing down. Be certain that neither one of you has a hidden agenda. 

Asegúrate de que el único motivo de esta llamada es la satisfacción mutua, tras lo cual podrás recoger tus cosas y marcharte, habiendo cumplido tu misión.

Cualquier otra cosa, las líneas se difuminarán, los sentimientos saldrán a flote y al menos un corazón acabará roto.

¿Estás preparado para correr el riesgo? Sigue leyendo y descubre lo que REALMENTE ocurre cuando decides cruzar esa línea y explorar el territorio.

Firstly, I’ll discuss the cool benefits of having sex with a friend, after which you’ll see the dangers it may present that no one will tell you about. Let’s get going!

Sex With Friends – The Benefits

Por qué no empezar con algunas cosas jugosas, convenientes y asombrosas que te aportará el sexo con amigos.

Al fin y al cabo, el sexo debe ser divertido. A veces, lo único que necesitas es un poco de acción alucinante bajo las sábanas para liberar tensiones y relajarte. tu mente.

Y el sexo casual es TODO sobre esa mierda.

Having romantic partners is priceless but there comes a time in every person’s life where they just want to have some carefree sex with someone who won’t get attached and develop romantic feelings.

And why shouldn’t they? If you’ve got a buddy who’d be down for something like this, why bother swiping right en Tinder si puedes hacerlo con alguien que ya conoces?

Sleeping with a friend doesn’t have to be a big deal.

And here’s the flip side to it that will prove to you it actually might be worth a shot!

1. 1. Familiaridad (no se necesitan extraños sospechosos) 

The biggest plus of this whole situation is that you KNOW this person so you know they’re not some shady stranger who might end up robbing you blind when you fall asleep.

And let’s face it, it’s a legit possibility with una aventura de una noche hoy en día.

Es tu amigo y lo conoces de verdad. Sabes lo que les mueve, lo que les hace felices y lo estresados que pueden estar un día concreto.

You don’t have to worry about a stranger being in your home because this person probably already spends half their time at your place so they feel at home!

You can be honest about your likes and dislikes because since they’re not your actual romantic partner, you don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings.

They don’t give a fuck! They’re in it to have some fun with a familiar face and then leave with a smile on their face. Nothing more and nothing less.

2. No hay necesidad de impresionar a nadie

Since this is your friend, they know you well enough to not care if you’ve shaved your legs or armpits.

They honestly don’t care what you look like. They’re not some stranger who’s going to leave your house and go on telling everyone about what it was like.

Se trata de un encuentro amistoso que acaba bajo las sábanas y se queda entre esas dos personas.

So you don’t have to pressure yourself into looking your best. And doesn’t that release some of the pressure of the whole thing?

Al igual que en las relaciones duraderas, con el tiempo dejan de importarte esas partes superficiales de una persona.

You have one goal and it’s to have your fun in the sun and leave for the night.

You’re not in high school and the whole school won’t be in the know the next morning, so relax. Do the deed and know it’s no one’s business but yours and your friend’s.

3. No a la vergüenza corporal

Tu amigo te quiere. Tenéis una amistad auténtica basada en el respeto y el amor mutuos (el amor de los amigos).

And due to all that, you can feel safe around them and not fear being body-shamed if you’re not ‘perfectly’ shaped.

Although, who’s perfect anyway?

That’s just a myth that no one really should care about because people love who they love.

No tiene nada que ver con el aspecto físico y sí con la belleza interior.

Luckily, you’re getting naked around someone who knows you, te quiere y te aprecia.

They would never make you feel bad for looking a certain way and that’s the best thing about sex with friends.

You can be you! No hiding parts of yourself, no shame in taking your clothes off and no wondering if they’ll think less of you when they see a stretch mark.

So if there’s one reason to try sex with a friend, this would be it.

4. Whatever happens, you’ve always got a friend

There’s a first time for everything, right? If you don’t try it, you’ll always wonder what it would be like.

Así, aunque te des cuenta de que no es lo tuyo, ¡al menos sigues teniendo a tu amigo!

Querías probar algo diferente, lo intentaste y aprendiste la lección.

Ahora puedes reírte de ello mientras tomas unas copas y recuerdas aquella vez que tuviste un rollo de una noche.

And if this is a good friend, you know they’re not going anywhere.

Nothing can chase them away. You both decided to do this together and it’s a thing of the past now.

It might work and you might find a system that truly doesn’t mess with your friendship.

OR you might realize you’re not cut out for this and go back to being friends.

5. Gran práctica para futuras experiencias sexuales

You can both simply ‘use’ each other (in the best way possible!) to get some practice in if you’re not sexually as experienced as you’d like to be.

Una idea estupenda, ¿verdad? Te diviertes inofensivamente con un amigo Y adquieres una experiencia muy necesaria y un feedback sincero.

This will help you gain confidence, get better at things where you’re lacking and become a self-assured lover who won’t hold back under the covers.

Y el sexo con amigos te ayuda a conseguir todo lo anterior.

Así que, en lugar de temer los posibles resultados, concéntrate en estas fantásticas ventajas que te ayudarán a convertirte en la amante que deseas ser.

You’ll learn the best way to approach a person, find out how to avoid possible mistakes and give your lover the best experience of their life.

Y todo eso mientras disfrutas de sexo inofensivo con tu amigo.

¡Sí y sí!

Sex With Friends – The Dangers

Okay, so I’ve shown you the perks of having sex with a friend and I genuinely believe in every single one of them.

Como con cualquier cosa en la vida, hay dos caras de la moneda y esa era la buena, aquella en la que obtienes todas las partes buenas sin sufrir las consecuencias.

And if you’re among the lucky ones, that could easily happen to you! But to be fair, I must say that the dangers of sex with friends outweigh the benefits.

True, it might be close… but you’ll see why the cons prevail in this situation.

Sex therapists warn against this arrangement due to the dangers I’m about to list here.

It’s not a rule that this will be the case but there’s a huge likelihood and you deserve to be warned about the good, the bad and the ugly before making an educated decision.

If you’re adamant to try sex with a friend, here’s everything you should know that no one will tell you.

Sólo después de repasar detenidamente todos estos puntos estará realmente preparado para este viaje. Abróchate el cinturón, ¡allá vamos!

6. It’s probably much better in your head

Cuando piensas (fantaseas, si quieres) en tener sexo con un amigo íntimo durante un tiempo, lo acumulas en tu cabeza, hasta el punto de convertirlo en un objetivo inalcanzable.

You probably have an idea in your head that it’s going to be just like in the movies but I have to be honest with you; it rarely is. 

Most of the time, it’s awkward at first and once you get down to business, you’re reminded of how awkward these things can be if it’s not with your long-term partner.

One-night stands generally end up being the hottest experience of your life of the worst idea you’ve ever had.

There’s no in-between. The same goes for sex with friends. 

It’s either going to rock your world and make you see this could become a regular thing or the more likely version—realizing what a mistake this is within minutes and not knowing how to tell the other person without hurting their feelings.

7. It’s likely going to affect your friendship

You may think that you’ve got this and that nothing can ruin your friendship but you’d be wrong.

Una mala experiencia sexual tiene la capacidad de convertir a los mejores amigos en conocidos incómodos. No hay muchas cosas peores que el mal sexo entre amigos, ¿verdad?

Imagínate tener una aventura horrible de una noche con un amigo íntimo y luego intentar mantener vuestra amistad como si nunca hubiera ocurrido.

Eso sería complicado, como mínimo.

You’ll meet up for coffee, feel completely normal for a minute and the moment something reminds you of your unfortunate experience, there will be such a loud silence that you’ll want to disappear from there.

You both know it sucked but you don’t want to say it but at the same time, pretending is out of the question because you BOTH know the truth so there’s no win there.

Sólo dos amigos intentando fingir que nunca han tenido una experiencia sexual incómoda, que podría deteriorar su amistad y debilitar su vínculo.

8. Celos inesperados

This is something that creeps up on you out of the blue. You certainly don’t expect to get jealous in this arrangement, but trust me… it happens more often than you think.

At first, it’s all good and it seems to be working.

You’re starting to get the hang of the whole thing and you’re able to separate your friendship from the conexión.

Y un día los ves hablando con otra persona y coqueteando.

You see them clearly coming on to this person and start realizing you’re not okay with that.

¿De dónde vienen esos celos? Pensabas que seguro que no había sentimientos por tu parte, sólo buen sexo.

Entonces, ¿qué demonios está pasando? Eso, amigo mío, se llama ser humano.

A todos nos resulta natural empezar a desarrollar una conexión emocional con una persona con la que mantenemos relaciones sexuales regulares.

And it makes sense, doesn’t it? You see them naked on a regular basis and you enjoy your time together.

Pero nunca cuentas con ser tú quien desarrolle sentimientos, hasta que te ocurre a ti.

9. Juicio externo

Clearly, this one is not on you two but people sure do feel entitled to their own ideas of what someone else’s life should look like and criticize their choices like it’s their job.

It sucks and it’s totally unfair but it does happen. Are you ready to be faced with the unwarranted opinions of your friends and family?

Are you prepared to explain your decision over and over again to people who have no business butting in (but which won’t stop them)? 

This is something that comes with the territory and I’m here to inform you before you do something that might end up backfiring.

People will condemn you because they don’t understand you.

Juzgarán tus decisiones y ni siquiera intentarán comprenderlas.

Eso se convierte en una carga demasiado pesada de llevar y acaba arruinando tu relación de follamigo, even if it’s going well!

People will always stick their noses in where they don’t belong. And you’re the one who knows how well you can deal with that.

10. Podría abrir una caja de Pandora

Have you thought about this scenario? What if you and your friend start getting busy and one day you both start realizing that you’ve got romantic feelings for each other that you’re not ready to deal with?

O peor aún, sólo uno de los dos se da cuenta y todo se complica demasiado.

¿Cómo afectaría eso a vuestra amistad y a vuestra relación de follamigos?

I’m guessing you didn’t even stop to contemplate this. But it happens extremely often.

How would you deal with realizing you’ve both got feelings but don’t want a relationship?

What would you tell your friend who informs you that they’re starting to fall for you but you’re SO not in that place?

You’re far more likely to react poorly and not handle it to the best of your ability because it’ll catch you by surprise and you won’t know what to do or say.

Your friend might end up hurt, you’ll end up resenting yourself for handling it so horrendously and both your friendship and your sexual relationship will come crashing down.

Piensa en todos los escenarios posibles antes de decidirte a participar en esto.

Just because it seems great on paper, it doesn’t mean it’ll be like that in real life.

Reflexiones finales

By this point, you’ve probably changed your mind more than once about wanting to have sex with a friend.

But that’s actually a good thing. It means you’re getting the picture and you see how complex it truly is.

Things often appear simple, fun and harmless but when translated into real life, they’re anything but.

So I hope you’ve now been informed enough to be able to make a smart decision, knowing all the ways it can affect your friendship.

Claro que tiene aspectos positivos, pero los peligros son mayores que las ventajas.

We’re talking about the bond of two friends being tested for sex purposes.

¿Estás dispuesto a arriesgarte a perder un amigo por algo tan frívolo como el sexo?

Are you prepared to handle them developing an emotional connection and ask you for more than you can give them right now If not, it’s probably not the smartest idea to try sex with friends.

Only when you’re both on the same page about your feelings, end goals and expectations can you begin considering a sexual relationship with a close friend.

Puede acabar siendo un pequeño experimento divertido o abrir una caja de Pandora que le pille por sorpresa. ¿Está dispuesto a correr el riesgo?