Sesso con gli amici? I 10 segreti più grandi che nessuno ti svela

Per quanto cerchiamo di negarlo o di opporci, ci sarà sempre un fascino irresistibile nell'idea di un'avventura di una notte con una persona che non è mai stata in grado di fare nulla di male. migliore amico.

A total no-strings, sex with benefits situation. In reality, you know it probably wouldn’t work but in your imagination, it’s just casual sex…

Nobody will fall in love, so what’s the harm? It’s just some light, hot fun!

What could go wrong? Why would a sexy, ‘forbidden’ hook-up with one of your close friends be such a big deal?

Le risposte a queste domande sono a dir poco abbondanti. Nessuno si aspetta che una relazione romantica si evolva da una situazione di fwb.

Nessuno ha intenzione di provare dei sentimenti e di rimanere legato sentimentalmente a un buon amico.

Tuttavia, accade più spesso di quanto si possa immaginare. 

Here, I’ll explain exactly what you’d be getting into along with the good, the bad and the ugly of getting into a fuck buddy situation with a friend before thinking it through.

Meritate di essere informati sulle cose che nessuno vi dirà mai.

Chissà, potreste cambiare idea e fare la cosa migliore per voi stessi nel lungo periodo.

Guardate e decidete voi stessi se la vostra amicizia può sopravvivere a questo esperimento!

Sex With Friends… Can It Work?

According to a relationship expert, sex with friends doesn’t necessarily have to be the end of the friendship, provided that the friend is a close one and that the emotional connection is substantially strong enough to withhold such a risky move outside of the comfort of the friendship.

It isn’t the norm and it’s not always encouraged but your sex life is your own.

And you’re the ultimate judge of how equipped you are to get into a casual sex relationship with a buddy without emotions getting involved.

And I’m here to educate you on the benefits of casual sex and the dangers that follow it.

The thing is… the lines get blurred so easily and from the prima volta si impegna in un chiamata di cortesia con un migliore amico alla terza volta, le cose sembreranno diverse.  

Il sesso è bello e tutto, ma senza regole di base, molte persone si scottano e si creano imbarazzi.

Sexual attraction doesn’t always have to turn into a sexual relationship.

Sometimes, if the lines aren’t clear and you feel the  possibility of one person getting attached, it’s best to nip it in the bud.

But does sex with a friend have to signify a funeral for your friendship? No, it doesn’t.

In primo luogo, tutto dipende da come voi e il vostro amico definite il sesso.

To some, it’s just a fulfilling activity that brings you some much-needed relaxation and a happy ending.

Per altri, invece, significa una profonda connessione emotiva che porta inevitabilmente a qualcosa di vero e autentico.

Voi e il vostro amico siete sulla stessa lunghezza d'onda quando si tratta di definire cosa significa il sesso per entrambi?

In secondo luogo, quali sono i vostri obiettivi finali?

Is one of you secretly hoping the other one realizes that they’re in love with the other?

O siete entrambi semplicemente e solo per divertirvi senza legami?

My advice is to never engage in a fwb situation if you’re not both in it for the same reasons.

If one person is emotionally invested and with ulterior motives, it’s bound to come crashing down. Be certain that neither one of you has a hidden agenda. 

Siate certi che l'unico motivo di questa visita è la soddisfazione reciproca, dopodiché potete tranquillamente prendere le vostre cose e andarvene, avendo portato a termine la vostra missione.

In caso contrario, i confini si confonderanno, i sentimenti verranno a galla e almeno un cuore finirà per essere spezzato.

Siete pronti a correre il rischio? Continuate a leggere e scoprite cosa succede DAVVERO quando decidete di oltrepassare la linea ed esplorare il territorio.

Firstly, I’ll discuss the cool benefits of having sex with a friend, after which you’ll see the dangers it may present that no one will tell you about. Let’s get going!

Sex With Friends – The Benefits

Perché non iniziare con alcune cose succose, comode e fantastiche che il sesso con gli amici vi porterà.

Dopo tutto, il sesso dovrebbe essere divertente! A volte, tutto ciò che serve è un po' di azione sensazionale e vaporosa sotto le lenzuola per sciogliere la tensione e rilassarsi. la vostra mente.

E il sesso occasionale si basa tutto su queste cose.

Having romantic partners is priceless but there comes a time in every person’s life where they just want to have some carefree sex with someone who won’t get attached and develop romantic feelings.

And why shouldn’t they? If you’ve got a buddy who’d be down for something like this, why bother swiping right su Tinder se si può fare con qualcuno che si conosce già?

Sleeping with a friend doesn’t have to be a big deal.

And here’s the flip side to it that will prove to you it actually might be worth a shot!

1. Familiarità (non c'è bisogno di loschi sconosciuti) 

The biggest plus of this whole situation is that you KNOW this person so you know they’re not some shady stranger who might end up robbing you blind when you fall asleep.

And let’s face it, it’s a legit possibility with un'avventura di una notte al giorno d'oggi.

Questo è il vostro amico e lo conoscete davvero. Sapete che cosa li fa emozionare, che cosa li rende felici e quanto possano essere stressati in un determinato giorno.

You don’t have to worry about a stranger being in your home because this person probably already spends half their time at your place so they feel at home!

You can be honest about your likes and dislikes because since they’re not your actual romantic partner, you don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings.

They don’t give a fuck! They’re in it to have some fun with a familiar face and then leave with a smile on their face. Nothing more and nothing less.

2. Non c'è bisogno di impressionare nessuno

Since this is your friend, they know you well enough to not care if you’ve shaved your legs or armpits.

They honestly don’t care what you look like. They’re not some stranger who’s going to leave your house and go on telling everyone about what it was like.

Si tratta di un incontro amichevole che finisce sotto le lenzuola e rimane tra queste due persone.

So you don’t have to pressure yourself into looking your best. And doesn’t that release some of the pressure of the whole thing?

Proprio come nelle relazioni a lungo termine, con il tempo si smette di interessarsi a quelle parti superficiali di una persona.

You have one goal and it’s to have your fun in the sun and leave for the night.

You’re not in high school and the whole school won’t be in the know the next morning, so relax. Do the deed and know it’s no one’s business but yours and your friend’s.

3. Nessun body shaming

Il vostro amico vi ama. Avete un'amicizia genuina basata sul rispetto e sull'amore reciproco (il tipo di amore dell'amico).

And due to all that, you can feel safe around them and not fear being body-shamed if you’re not ‘perfectly’ shaped.

Although, who’s perfect anyway?

That’s just a myth that no one really should care about because people love who they love.

Non ha nulla a che fare con l'aspetto fisico, ma con la bellezza interiore.

Luckily, you’re getting naked around someone who knows you, ti ama e vi apprezza.

They would never make you feel bad for looking a certain way and that’s the best thing about sex with friends.

You can be you! No hiding parts of yourself, no shame in taking your clothes off and no wondering if they’ll think less of you when they see a stretch mark.

So if there’s one reason to try sex with a friend, this would be it.

4. Whatever happens, you’ve always got a friend

There’s a first time for everything, right? If you don’t try it, you’ll always wonder what it would be like.

In questo modo, anche se vi rendete conto che non è la vostra tazza di tè, almeno avete ancora il vostro amico!

Volevate provare qualcosa di diverso, avete fatto un tentativo e avete imparato la lezione.

Potete riderne ora, mentre prendete un drink e ricordate quella volta che avete avuto un'avventura di una notte.

And if this is a good friend, you know they’re not going anywhere.

Nothing can chase them away. You both decided to do this together and it’s a thing of the past now.

It might work and you might find a system that truly doesn’t mess with your friendship.

OR you might realize you’re not cut out for this and go back to being friends.

5. Ottima pratica per le esperienze sessuali future

You can both simply ‘use’ each other (in the best way possible!) to get some practice in if you’re not sexually as experienced as you’d like to be.

È un'idea fantastica, vero? Ci si diverte in modo innocuo con un amico e si acquisisce la necessaria esperienza e un feedback onesto.

This will help you gain confidence, get better at things where you’re lacking and become a self-assured lover who won’t hold back under the covers.

E il sesso con gli amici aiuta a ottenere tutto questo!

Quindi, invece di temere i possibili risultati, concentratevi su questi fantastici vantaggi che vi aiuteranno a diventare l'amante che volete essere.

You’ll learn the best way to approach a person, find out how to avoid possible mistakes and give your lover the best experience of their life.

E tutto questo mentre si fa del sesso innocuo con la propria amica.

Sì e sì!

Sex With Friends – The Dangers

Okay, so I’ve shown you the perks of having sex with a friend and I genuinely believe in every single one of them.

Come in tutte le cose della vita, ci sono due facce della medaglia e questa era la faccia buona, quella in cui si ottengono tutte le parti positive senza subirne le conseguenze.

And if you’re among the lucky ones, that could easily happen to you! But to be fair, I must say that the dangers of sex with friends outweigh the benefits.

True, it might be close… but you’ll see why the cons prevail in this situation.

Sex therapists warn against this arrangement due to the dangers I’m about to list here.

It’s not a rule that this will be the case but there’s a huge likelihood and you deserve to be warned about the good, the bad and the ugly before making an educated decision.

If you’re adamant to try sex with a friend, here’s everything you should know that no one will tell you.

Solo dopo aver esaminato attentamente tutti questi punti sarete veramente pronti per questo viaggio. Allacciate le cinture, si parte!

6. It’s probably much better in your head

Quando si pensa (si fantastica, se vogliamo) di fare sesso con un amico intimo per un po', lo si costruisce nella propria testa, fino a farlo diventare un obiettivo irraggiungibile.

You probably have an idea in your head that it’s going to be just like in the movies but I have to be honest with you; it rarely is. 

Most of the time, it’s awkward at first and once you get down to business, you’re reminded of how awkward these things can be if it’s not with your long-term partner.

One-night stands generally end up being the hottest experience of your life of the worst idea you’ve ever had.

There’s no in-between. The same goes for sex with friends. 

It’s either going to rock your world and make you see this could become a regular thing or the more likely version—realizing what a mistake this is within minutes and not knowing how to tell the other person without hurting their feelings.

7. It’s likely going to affect your friendship

You may think that you’ve got this and that nothing can ruin your friendship but you’d be wrong.

Un'esperienza sessuale negativa ha la capacità di trasformare i migliori amici in conoscenti imbarazzanti. Non ci sono molte cose peggiori del cattivo sesso tra amici, giusto?

Immaginate di avere un'orribile avventura di una notte con un amico intimo e poi di cercare di mantenere la vostra amicizia come se non fosse mai successo?

Sarebbe a dir poco complicato.

You’ll meet up for coffee, feel completely normal for a minute and the moment something reminds you of your unfortunate experience, there will be such a loud silence that you’ll want to disappear from there.

You both know it sucked but you don’t want to say it but at the same time, pretending is out of the question because you BOTH know the truth so there’s no win there.

Solo due amici che cercano di fingere di non aver mai avuto un'esperienza sessuale imbarazzante, che potrebbe deteriorare la loro amicizia e indebolire il loro legame.

8. Gelosia inaspettata

This is something that creeps up on you out of the blue. You certainly don’t expect to get jealous in this arrangement, but trust me… it happens more often than you think.

At first, it’s all good and it seems to be working.

You’re starting to get the hang of the whole thing and you’re able to separate your friendship from the aggancio.

Poi un giorno li vedete parlare con un'altra persona e fare i cascamorti.

You see them clearly coming on to this person and start realizing you’re not okay with that.

Da dove viene questa gelosia? Pensavate di essere certi che non ci fossero sentimenti da parte vostra, ma solo del buon sesso.

Cosa diavolo sta succedendo? Questo, amico mio, si chiama essere umano.

A tutti noi viene naturale iniziare a sviluppare un legame emotivo con una persona con cui abbiamo rapporti sessuali regolari.

And it makes sense, doesn’t it? You see them naked on a regular basis and you enjoy your time together.

Ma non si può mai pensare di essere davvero l'unico a sviluppare dei sentimenti, finché non succede a te.

9. Giudizio esterno

Clearly, this one is not on you two but people sure do feel entitled to their own ideas of what someone else’s life should look like and criticize their choices like it’s their job.

It sucks and it’s totally unfair but it does happen. Are you ready to be faced with the unwarranted opinions of your friends and family?

Are you prepared to explain your decision over and over again to people who have no business butting in (but which won’t stop them)? 

This is something that comes with the territory and I’m here to inform you before you do something that might end up backfiring.

People will condemn you because they don’t understand you.

Giudicheranno le vostre scelte e non cercheranno nemmeno di capirle.

Questo diventa un fardello troppo pesante da sopportare e finisce per rovinare il vostro rapporto di scopamicizia, even if it’s going well!

People will always stick their noses in where they don’t belong. And you’re the one who knows how well you can deal with that.

10. Potrebbe aprire un vaso di Pandora

Have you thought about this scenario? What if you and your friend start getting busy and one day you both start realizing that you’ve got romantic feelings for each other that you’re not ready to deal with?

O, peggio ancora, solo uno di voi se ne rende conto e la faccenda diventa troppo complicata.

Che effetto avrebbe sulla vostra amicizia e sul vostro rapporto di scopata?

I’m guessing you didn’t even stop to contemplate this. But it happens extremely often.

How would you deal with realizing you’ve both got feelings but don’t want a relationship?

What would you tell your friend who informs you that they’re starting to fall for you but you’re SO not in that place?

You’re far more likely to react poorly and not handle it to the best of your ability because it’ll catch you by surprise and you won’t know what to do or say.

Your friend might end up hurt, you’ll end up resenting yourself for handling it so horrendously and both your friendship and your sexual relationship will come crashing down.

Pensate a tutti i possibili scenari prima di decidere di intraprendere questa attività.

Just because it seems great on paper, it doesn’t mean it’ll be like that in real life.

Pensieri finali

By this point, you’ve probably changed your mind more than once about wanting to have sex with a friend.

But that’s actually a good thing. It means you’re getting the picture and you see how complex it truly is.

Things often appear simple, fun and harmless but when translated into real life, they’re anything but.

So I hope you’ve now been informed enough to be able to make a smart decision, knowing all the ways it can affect your friendship.

Certo, ci sono dei lati positivi, ma i pericoli sono più probabili dei vantaggi.

We’re talking about the bond of two friends being tested for sex purposes.

Siete pronti a rischiare di perdere un amico per una cosa frivola come il sesso?

Are you prepared to handle them developing an emotional connection and ask you for more than you can give them right now If not, it’s probably not the smartest idea to try sex with friends.

Only when you’re both on the same page about your feelings, end goals and expectations can you begin considering a sexual relationship with a close friend.

Potrebbe rivelarsi un esperimento divertente o aprire un vaso di Pandora che vi coglierà di sorpresa. Siete pronti a correre il rischio?