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Sex With Friends? The 10 Biggest Secrets No One Will Tell You

Sex With Friends? The 10 Biggest Secrets No One Will Tell You

No matter how much we try to deny it or go against it, there will always be an irresistible allure in the idea of a one night stand with a best friend.

A total no-strings, sex with benefits situation. In reality, you know it probably wouldn’t work but in your imagination, it’s just casual sex…

Nobody will fall in love, so what’s the harm? It’s just some light, hot fun!

What could go wrong? Why would a sexy, ‘forbidden’ hook-up with one of your close friends be such a big deal?

The answers to those questions are plentiful to say the least. Nobody expects a romantic relationship to evolve from a fwb situation.

Nobody plans on catching feelings and getting romantically stuck on a good friend.

However, it happens more often than you can actually imagine. 

Here, I’ll explain exactly what you’d be getting into along with the good, the bad and the ugly of getting into a fuck buddy situation with a friend before thinking it through.

You deserve to be informed about the things no one will ever tell you about.

Who knows, you might end up changing your mind and do the best thing for yourself in the long run.

Check it out and decide for yourself if your friendship can survive this experiment!

Sex With Friends… Can It Work?

According to a relationship expert, sex with friends doesn’t necessarily have to be the end of the friendship, provided that the friend is a close one and that the emotional connection is substantially strong enough to withhold such a risky move outside of the comfort of the friendship.

It isn’t the norm and it’s not always encouraged but your sex life is your own.

And you’re the ultimate judge of how equipped you are to get into a casual sex relationship with a buddy without emotions getting involved.

And I’m here to educate you on the benefits of casual sex and the dangers that follow it.

The thing is… the lines get blurred so easily and from the first time you engage in a booty call with a best friend to the third time, things are going to feel different.  

Great sex is cool and all but without ground rules, a lot of people get burned and awkwardness ensues.

Sexual attraction doesn’t always have to turn into a sexual relationship.

Sometimes, if the lines aren’t clear and you feel the  possibility of one person getting attached, it’s best to nip it in the bud.

But does sex with a friend have to signify a funeral for your friendship? No, it doesn’t.

Firstly, it all depends on how you and your friend define sex.

To some, it’s just a fulfilling activity that brings you some much-needed relaxation and a happy ending.

And to others, it means a deep emotional connection that inevitably leads to something real and genuine.

Are you and your friend on the same page when it comes to defining what sex means to both of you?

And secondly, what are your end goals?

Is one of you secretly hoping the other one realizes that they’re in love with the other?

Or are you both simply and only in it for some fun times with no strings attached?

My advice is to never engage in a fwb situation if you’re not both in it for the same reasons.

If one person is emotionally invested and with ulterior motives, it’s bound to come crashing down. Be certain that neither one of you has a hidden agenda. 

Be certain that the only reason for this booty call is mutual satisfaction, after which you can happily pick up your stuff and leave, having accomplished your mission.

Anything else, the lines will get blurred, feelings will come swimming to the surface and at least one heart will end up broken.

Are you ready to take the risk? Keep reading and find out what REALLY happens when you decide to cross that line and explore the territory.

Firstly, I’ll discuss the cool benefits of having sex with a friend, after which you’ll see the dangers it may present that no one will tell you about. Let’s get going!

Sex With Friends – The Benefits

Why not start with some juicy, convenient and awesome things that sex with friends will bring you.

After all, sex should be fun! Sometimes, all you need to do is have some mind-blowing, steamy action under the sheets to release the tension and relax your mind.

And casual sex is ALL about that shit.

Having romantic partners is priceless but there comes a time in every person’s life where they just want to have some carefree sex with someone who won’t get attached and develop romantic feelings.

And why shouldn’t they? If you’ve got a buddy who’d be down for something like this, why bother swiping right on Tinder if you can do it with someone you already know?

Sleeping with a friend doesn’t have to be a big deal.

And here’s the flip side to it that will prove to you it actually might be worth a shot!

1. Familiarity (no need for shady strangers) 

The biggest plus of this whole situation is that you KNOW this person so you know they’re not some shady stranger who might end up robbing you blind when you fall asleep.

And let’s face it, it’s a legit possibility with a one-night stand nowadays.

This is your friend and you genuinely know them. You know what makes them tick, what makes them happy and how stressful they might be on a particular day.

You don’t have to worry about a stranger being in your home because this person probably already spends half their time at your place so they feel at home!

You can be honest about your likes and dislikes because since they’re not your actual romantic partner, you don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings.

They don’t give a fuck! They’re in it to have some fun with a familiar face and then leave with a smile on their face. Nothing more and nothing less.

2. No need to impress anyone

Since this is your friend, they know you well enough to not care if you’ve shaved your legs or armpits.

They honestly don’t care what you look like. They’re not some stranger who’s going to leave your house and go on telling everyone about what it was like.

This is a friendly get-together that ends up under the sheets and stays between those two people.

So you don’t have to pressure yourself into looking your best. And doesn’t that release some of the pressure of the whole thing?

Just like in long term relationships, with time, you just stop caring about those superficial parts of a person.

You have one goal and it’s to have your fun in the sun and leave for the night.

You’re not in high school and the whole school won’t be in the know the next morning, so relax. Do the deed and know it’s no one’s business but yours and your friend’s.

3. No body shaming

Your friend loves you. You have a genuine friendship based on mutual respect and love (the friend type of love).

And due to all that, you can feel safe around them and not fear being body-shamed if you’re not ‘perfectly’ shaped.

Although, who’s perfect anyway?

That’s just a myth that no one really should care about because people love who they love.

It has nothing to do with physical appearance and everything to do with inner beauty.

Luckily, you’re getting naked around someone who knows you, loves you and appreciates you.

They would never make you feel bad for looking a certain way and that’s the best thing about sex with friends.

You can be you! No hiding parts of yourself, no shame in taking your clothes off and no wondering if they’ll think less of you when they see a stretch mark.

So if there’s one reason to try sex with a friend, this would be it.

4. Whatever happens, you’ve always got a friend

There’s a first time for everything, right? If you don’t try it, you’ll always wonder what it would be like.

So this way, even if you realize that this is not your cup of tea, at least you still have your friend!

You wanted to try something different, you gave it a shot and you learned your lesson.

You can laugh about it now while grabbing drinks and reminiscing about that time you had a one-night stand.

And if this is a good friend, you know they’re not going anywhere.

Nothing can chase them away. You both decided to do this together and it’s a thing of the past now.

It might work and you might find a system that truly doesn’t mess with your friendship.

OR you might realize you’re not cut out for this and go back to being friends.

5. Great practice for future sexual experiences

You can both simply ‘use’ each other (in the best way possible!) to get some practice in if you’re not sexually as experienced as you’d like to be.

Such a great idea, right? You get to have some harmless fun with a friend AND you gain much-needed experience and honest feedback.

This will help you gain confidence, get better at things where you’re lacking and become a self-assured lover who won’t hold back under the covers.

And sex with friends helps you gain all of the above!

So instead of dreading the possible outcomes, focus on these fantastic perks that will help you become the lover you want to be.

You’ll learn the best way to approach a person, find out how to avoid possible mistakes and give your lover the best experience of their life.

And all that while enjoying harmless sex with your friend.

Yes and yes!

Sex With Friends – The Dangers

Okay, so I’ve shown you the perks of having sex with a friend and I genuinely believe in every single one of them.

Just like with anything in life, there are two sides to the coin and that was the good side, the one where you get all the good parts without suffering the consequences.

And if you’re among the lucky ones, that could easily happen to you! But to be fair, I must say that the dangers of sex with friends outweigh the benefits.

True, it might be close… but you’ll see why the cons prevail in this situation.

Sex therapists warn against this arrangement due to the dangers I’m about to list here.

It’s not a rule that this will be the case but there’s a huge likelihood and you deserve to be warned about the good, the bad and the ugly before making an educated decision.

If you’re adamant to try sex with a friend, here’s everything you should know that no one will tell you.

Only after carefully going through all these points will you be truly ready for this ride. Buckle up, here we go!

6. It’s probably much better in your head

When you think about (fantasize, if you will) having sex with a close friend for a while, you build it up in your head, to the point of it becoming an unattainable goal.

You probably have an idea in your head that it’s going to be just like in the movies but I have to be honest with you; it rarely is. 

Most of the time, it’s awkward at first and once you get down to business, you’re reminded of how awkward these things can be if it’s not with your long-term partner.

One-night stands generally end up being the hottest experience of your life of the worst idea you’ve ever had.

There’s no in-between. The same goes for sex with friends. 

It’s either going to rock your world and make you see this could become a regular thing or the more likely version—realizing what a mistake this is within minutes and not knowing how to tell the other person without hurting their feelings.

7. It’s likely going to affect your friendship

You may think that you’ve got this and that nothing can ruin your friendship but you’d be wrong.

A bad sexual experience has the ability to turn the best of friends into awkward acquaintances. Not many things are worse than bad sex amongst friends, right?

So imagine having a horrible one-night stand with a close friend and then trying to maintain your friendship as if it never happened?

That would be tricky, to say the least.

You’ll meet up for coffee, feel completely normal for a minute and the moment something reminds you of your unfortunate experience, there will be such a loud silence that you’ll want to disappear from there.

You both know it sucked but you don’t want to say it but at the same time, pretending is out of the question because you BOTH know the truth so there’s no win there.

Just two friends trying to pretend they never had an awkward sexual experience, which could deteriorate their friendship and weaken their bond.

8. Unexpected jealousy

This is something that creeps up on you out of the blue. You certainly don’t expect to get jealous in this arrangement, but trust me… it happens more often than you think.

At first, it’s all good and it seems to be working.

You’re starting to get the hang of the whole thing and you’re able to separate your friendship from the hook-up.

Then one day, you see them talking to another person and being all flirty.

You see them clearly coming on to this person and start realizing you’re not okay with that.

Where is this jealousy coming from? You thought for SURE there were no feelings on your part, just good sex.

So what the hell is going on? That, my friend, is called being human.

It comes naturally to all of us to start developing an emotional connection with a person we have regular sexual relations with.

And it makes sense, doesn’t it? You see them naked on a regular basis and you enjoy your time together.

But you never count on actually being the one to develop feelings, until it happens to you.

9. Outside judgment

Clearly, this one is not on you two but people sure do feel entitled to their own ideas of what someone else’s life should look like and criticize their choices like it’s their job.

It sucks and it’s totally unfair but it does happen. Are you ready to be faced with the unwarranted opinions of your friends and family?

Are you prepared to explain your decision over and over again to people who have no business butting in (but which won’t stop them)? 

This is something that comes with the territory and I’m here to inform you before you do something that might end up backfiring.

People will condemn you because they don’t understand you.

They will judge your choices and not even try to understand them.

That becomes too heavy a burden to bear and it ends up ruining your fuck buddy relationship, even if it’s going well!

People will always stick their noses in where they don’t belong. And you’re the one who knows how well you can deal with that.

10. It might open a can of worms

Have you thought about this scenario? What if you and your friend start getting busy and one day you both start realizing that you’ve got romantic feelings for each other that you’re not ready to deal with?

Or even worse, only one of you realizes this and the whole thing becomes way too complicated.

How would that affect your friendship and your fuck buddy relationship?

I’m guessing you didn’t even stop to contemplate this. But it happens extremely often.

How would you deal with realizing you’ve both got feelings but don’t want a relationship?

What would you tell your friend who informs you that they’re starting to fall for you but you’re SO not in that place?

You’re far more likely to react poorly and not handle it to the best of your ability because it’ll catch you by surprise and you won’t know what to do or say.

Your friend might end up hurt, you’ll end up resenting yourself for handling it so horrendously and both your friendship and your sexual relationship will come crashing down.

Think of all the possible scenarios before you decide to engage in this.

Just because it seems great on paper, it doesn’t mean it’ll be like that in real life.

Final Thoughts

By this point, you’ve probably changed your mind more than once about wanting to have sex with a friend.

But that’s actually a good thing. It means you’re getting the picture and you see how complex it truly is.

Things often appear simple, fun and harmless but when translated into real life, they’re anything but.

So I hope you’ve now been informed enough to be able to make a smart decision, knowing all the ways it can affect your friendship.

Sure, there are positive sides to it but the dangers are more likely than the perks.

We’re talking about the bond of two friends being tested for sex purposes.

Are you ready to risk losing a friend over something as frivolous as sex?

Are you prepared to handle them developing an emotional connection and ask you for more than you can give them right now If not, it’s probably not the smartest idea to try sex with friends.

Only when you’re both on the same page about your feelings, end goals and expectations can you begin considering a sexual relationship with a close friend.

This could end up being a fun little experiment or it could open a can of worms that will take you by surprise. Are you prepared to take the risk?