We as humans make major changes in life and as humans we have evolved so much over a period of time, with technology, social media, clothing trends, etc. But one thing that hasn’t changed over this period of time is the expected ‘timeline’ for us to settle down, get married, and have children, all before our ‘biological clocks’ time out.

I’m in my late 20’s and most of my girlfriends are in relationships (or relacioneshits como me gusta llamarlas). Solía sentir que siempre era yo la que se quedaba atrás o la que acompañaba torpemente a mis amigos en sus citas nocturnas. Por no hablar de que solía llorar descaradamente hasta quedarme dormida por las noches, cuando me daba cuenta de que lo único que iba a encontrarme al volver a casa era a mi peluche de montar o morir, el Sr. Oats, un caballo, por supuesto.

One day, as I was out with my girlfriends on a much-needed wine tasting adventure, I found myself and my thoughts in a second bottle of rose. I’m not sure whether it was the bubbles or just a waking moment but I realized Estaba realmente mucho mejor siendo soltero que en las relaciones. I had to thank them all for this realization—after all, if it hadn’t been for them continually complaining about their fake relationshits or arguing over who had the best #couplestatus, I’d still be thinking their lives were bliss while mine was shit.

Esos mismos pensamientos me llevaron a esta misma conclusión: ser soltero in your 20’s is the most beautiful and life-liberating experience! So, while some days you may feel hopeless, I can promise you that the journey in finding yourself and who you truly are is well worth the wait. I promise if you are patient with yourself you’ll find you won’t have to repeat that vicious cycle of being the ever so single one. So if you feel hopeless or lonely, I hope you can look back on these 6 ways to realizing that being single in your 20’s is nothing but pure enjoyment.

1. Aprende que la única validación que necesitas viene de dentro

Maybe it was because I wasn’t in the right relationship but I often would get so frustrated when a partner would not compliment me on my accomplishments, no matter how big or small. However, over time and being alone with myself, I have learned that the only validation I need is from within. He aprendido a hacerme cumplidos cuando me veo bien y a felicitarme cuando cumplo mis objetivos o consigo logros. Cuando se trata de mí misma, soy la única que importa.

2. La conexión espiritual en la búsqueda de uno mismo

So often when we get into relationships we lose who we are because we are so focused on catering to our partner’s every need. I know we have all been there and that’s OK. However, si nos tomamos el tiempo de estar solos, podemos profundizar de verdad en nosotros mismos and ask the important question… what is your true purpose in life?—what is your true calling? ¿Estás haciendo lo que puedes para lograr este propósito o vocación?

3. Puedes perseguir tus propios sueños y aspiraciones

It’s always nice to share dreams and aspirations with a partner. However, tu pareja no puede sustituir tus propios objetivos personales. In order to have a fully loving and shared experience with another human being, you must first know how to make yourself happy and fulfilled. If you are unhappy at work, don’t expect a partner to fill that void. Your partner should be that accent to your life—like that great pair of earrings!

4. No estás atado por ninguna cadena

Esta es mi favorita. No tienes a nadie que te impida viajar a ciertos lugares del mundo y no tienes a nadie a quien rendir cuentas. If you decide to wake up and book a flight to Tahiti—you can. You are free to go anywhere at any time. If you want to wear that special dress—go for it. If you want to eat at YOUR favorite restaurant—go for it. That little voice that used to say, “Wonder if he’s OK with this, wonder if he’ll like it, wonder if this fits his style,” has been silenced and replaced by a loud, happy, boisterous shout of being oneself!

5. Puedes mimarte

En el pasado pasabas el tiempo escribiéndole pequeñas notas de apoyo y comprando ese algo especial para complacerle. Te enorgullecía hacerle feliz, complacerle. Si él era feliz, tú eras feliz. Tu prioridad era complacerle ante todo. Ahora ya no. Ahora puedes mimarte. Reserva ese día en el spa. Spend a little extra and get that dress you know you’ve been wanting. Who says that little red sports cars are just for men! Go for it!

6. Aprenderás a apreciar mejor las cosas que tienes

Eres capaz de comprender la importancia de la familia y de disfrutar de las cosas sencillas de la vida. Sé una cosa con certeza, I’ve found closer relationships within my family and have a better understanding of being grateful for all that I have. No longer do I have to decide between him, HIS family or mine. I have managed to reconnect with my siblings and parents in a way I couldn’t if he was still in the picture. I even have a closer connection with my sweet little dog!

Véase también: La mente de una chica que nunca ha tenido una cita

So, if any of these ring true for you… estás mejor sin él. Una relación puede parecer siempre tan tentadora, pero te animo a que realmente aceptar la soltería. Aún eres joven, aún conservas tu juventud. Sigue adelante y coge esa mierda de reloj biológico y aplástalo contra el suelo. Take out your phone and book your next trip to a place you’ve been dying to visit. Take out a pen and paper and write down all the facets of your life that te hacen increíble—and while you’re at it, make a list of all the ways you can date un capricho Te prometo que si abrazas tu soltería, habrá alguien ahí fuera que esté dispuesto a apreciarte y que querrá abrazarte a ti también.