Si hace estas 20 cosas tóxicas, es un narcisista encubierto
Most of us never see this coming. Especially when a people are in love, they go instantly blind to everything that might endanger their happiness—call it conscious denial.
Lamentablemente, sólo nos damos cuenta de lo que nos ha ocurrido cuando el daño ya está hecho.
De repente, algo nos abre los ojos y todo lo que hemos vivido nos parece horrible.
The truth is, they were always horrible, but we chose to make them pretty. That’s what happens when emotional abuse sneaks up on you. You never see it coming; you only feel the consequences.
¿Cómo puede tu mente estar preparada para afrontar algo que creías que había sucedido de repente?
I know, it’s impossible.
Then, you’re faced with one of the greatest challenges of your life—healing.
Primero echas la vista atrás y no dejas de preguntarte cómo has podido aguantar tanta mierda que te ha dado. No puedes creer lo que hizo y cómo reaccionaste.
You cannot believe how many things you’ve found an excuse for. From where you’re standing now, it’s absolutely ridiculous and sad at the same time.
But there is an important lesson you’ve learned. You cannot change someone who doesn’t want to change. You cannot force someone to love you by loving them back.
Here’s the lesson each of you needs to learn if you’re dating (and probably suspecting) es un narcisista disfrazado.
It is only ‘I’, and no one else
He only cares about himself. There is no sentence that doesn’t contain the letter ‘I’ in it. You’ll notice when you’re out with your friends, all he talks about is himself.
The whole conversation revolves around him. Even if someone starts talking about something else, he’ll use that to take the focus back on himself.
It’s his way or the highway
He never takes other people’s opinions into consideration. When he decides something, it has to be his way.
It’s like you don’t even exist in his world. You can talk and beg; he won’t give you the time of his day.
Te manipula
Conoce todos tus movimientos y todas tus reacciones. Por eso, puede manipularte y controlarte para que hagas exactamente lo que él quiere.
And at the end of the day, you’ll have the feeling you’ve done what he wanted willingly. That’s how good of a manipulator he is.
Eso no es lo peor. No, lo peor es que disfruta viéndote bailar al ritmo de la música que pone.
Está orgulloso de tener una marioneta simpática y bien educada que hará exactamente lo que a él le gusta.
Tiene un doble rasero
Cuando se trata de tu vida, hay más reglas de las que nadie puede imaginar.
You have to take steps through life carefully, making sure you don’t take the wrong one (according to him).
But, when it comes to him, different rules apply. All the things you’re not allowed to do, he is.
When he makes a mistake you’d be punished for, it’s not such a big deal.
Other people’s opinions matter to him a lot
He cares deeply about his reputation. He would always talk himself up because he had to be the most delightful and kindest person you’d ever met.
He wouldn’t stop until he provoked that feeling in someone new he met.
If talking himself up meant putting another down, he’d still do it because he doesn’t care who he has to run over to appear the best.
You’re the only one to blame
El juego de la culpa era su favorito. Nunca tuvo la culpa de nada. Si estás mal, es porque te lo has hecho tú mismo. Nunca fue él.
He is the angel, and you’re the devil. He probably called you ‘evil’ and ‘manipulative’ a few times although you both know he is the evil one and not you.
Es el mejor que hay
He is always bragging about how he’s the best, how he does everything better than anyone else.
Si le preguntas, es el amo del universo. Lo admitirá sin ningún pudor.
Ya sabes que la gente que realmente ha conseguido algo nunca presume de ello. Se lo guardan para sí, y sólo si insistes en que te lo cuenten, lo harán.
Bueno, nunca tienes que preguntarle nada, presumirá de todo sin ninguna iniciativa.
Se alimenta de negatividad
Cada vez que siente una energía positiva, se acercará lo más posible a ti para drenarla toda. En esos momentos, incluso finge que te quiere de verdad. Finge que quiere hacerte feliz.
Así que, naturalmente, después de cada conversación con él, te sientes emocionalmente agotada.
Your positive energy is sucked dry, and you’re left with only the negative one.
Tiene una doble personalidad
When you’re out with other people, he’s so charming and positive. Everyone who gets a chance to talk to him likes him instantly. He’s a peach.
Pero, cuando os quedáis los dos solos, su personalidad cambia. Se vuelve oscuro y cruel, sin compasión ni respeto por ti.
He can’t handle criticism
Es un profesional cuando se trata de criticar a los demás, especialmente a ti. Actúa como si lo supiera todo y finge que quiere ayudarte de verdad.
When the situation is another way around, except for the fact you really want to help him while he only fakes it, he won’t listen.
He won’t take your advice because he truly believes he is perfect the way he is.
Está lleno de excusas
Espera que lo dejes todo cuando te necesita, pero cuando le necesitas, siempre tiene algo mejor que hacer.
Siempre tiene una excusa para no hacer algo que tú quieres.
Es una reina del drama
Nada es sencillo con él en tu vida. Incluso es probable que a veces te preguntes si estás en una telenovela española porque todas las situaciones son muy parecidas.
Hay mucho drama en marcha.
Necesita validación constante
Los narcisistas tienen esta necesidad de probarse a sí mismos, especialmente a las personas que dudan de ellos.
This is something that bothers them constantly, and almost everything they do is to prove to everyone around that they are perfect—that they have made it in life.
What he does is not because he wants to be a better man. It’s not because he wants to prove to himself he can, but it’s because he wants to brag to everyone around how great he is.
La perfección es el único camino
He won’t stop until he gets what he wants and in the way he wants it. So, nothing is good enough until it’s perfect.
This is a pretty bad personality trait, and it’s characteristic for narcissists because seeking perfection means getting what you want at all costs—even if that means running over people, they don’t care.
Harán lo que haga falta.
He doesn’t understand empathy
You’ve probably tried talking to him about something that bothered you. You probably got nothing in return.
Your misery and your suffering don’t mean anything to him because they don’t concern or affect him directly.
He only understands empathy when it has to do something with him. When another person is in pain, he doesn’t give a shit.
He will even stir the conversation you’re having with him back to him being the topic to speak about.
Tiene un mecanismo de defensa
Lo creas o no, hay una razón por la que todos los narcisistas son malvados y fríos. Debe haber habido un desencadenante que los hizo así, probablemente cuando aún eran jóvenes.
Un narcisista huirá si accidentalmente consigues descifrarlo y comprender por qué actúa de esa manera.
They have huge emotional walls built around themselves, and they won’t tear them down for anybody’s sake.
Han aprendido que la vulnerabilidad es un signo de debilidad que no pueden permitir que nadie vea.
Te rompe y te arregla justo después
It’s like a hobby of his. In the normal world, the person who caused you pain, the person who broke you isn’t allowed to come back into your life.
That person doesn’t have the right to help you heal because they are the reason you have to heal.
Lo lógico es alejarse de esa persona y ocuparse de lo que te ocurre.
Well, that’s not the case when you’re with a narcissist. A narcissist will break you and then come back and comfort you.
You’ll be confused, but at the time when you’re broken, consolation is all you need, so naturally, you take what you can get. That’s the game he’s playing.
Nunca se olvida del pasado
Nunca. Recuerda lo que peleasteis hace un año.
It’s like he’s keeping a diary of all the things you said or did wrong, and he makes sure you never forget them either.
Cada vez que empiezas una nueva pelea, él saca a relucir el pasado.
There is a reason why he does that. If you noticed, if you’re winning the fight and he has nothing to say back at you, he pulls out something you did in the past and opens a Pandora’s box of arguments which never end.
Te maltrata emocionalmente
Cuando quieres a alguien, las posibilidades de darte cuenta de que esa persona te maltrata emocionalmente son muy escasas. Después de que te traten mal durante algún tiempo, como que te acostumbras.
Ese comportamiento se convierte en algo normal para ti. Al cabo de un tiempo, empiezas a poner excusas a tu pareja.
You start justifying his behavior because you still love that person, and you’re hoping badly it’s all just a phase. and it will go away.
He is aware of the fact you love him, and he takes advantage of that by doing whatever the hell he wants to you because he knows you’ll come back as you always do.
El amor ya no es lo que pensabas que era
He has convinced you with the way he treats you that love is a one-way street—you give and get nothing in return.
He has made you believe that is what it is supposed to look like. Well, it’s not!
Los narcisistas son incapaces de amar a nadie más que a sí mismos. Porque para amar a alguien, primero tienes que amarte a ti mismo.
