Si tienes que hacer estas 5 cosas en una relación, te estás engañando a ti mismo

Una relación sana es la base de la vida. Por eso debe ser un lugar seguro que esperes con ilusión. No debería ser una carga. No debería hacerte cuestionar si es buena o no.

That’s why you need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself: Are you really happy in your relationship? Or are you afraid of being alone or everything that comes after the breakup?

¿Es usted feliz o eres cómodo because you’re used to it?

Let’s imagine you could remove all the obstacles that come after the breakup, like changing your life routine, changing social groups, all the inevitable and draining stuff, etc. – would you still stay with the same person?

1. Tienes que ocultar tus verdaderos sentimientos

If you can’t express your feelings to the person you’re closest to, that says a lot. Among other things, it says that you don’t really feel they’re that close to you or that they understand you.

If you overthink expressing yourself around your loved one, maybe that means they’re not the person you need in your life.

Lo que sí necesitas es alguien que te acepte tal y como eres, y eso incluye toda una gama de emociones y estados de ánimo.

Repressed feelings only lead to serious problems and resentment later on. Resentment is the worst feeling that can happen in a relationship. It’s something that slowly kills the relationship.

It’s best to admit to yourself that you need something else, rather than leave yourself and him in the illusion that everything is fine when it’s far from that.

2. Tienes que husmear

In other words, you don’t trust your partner. We’ve all done it. We looked at our partner’s phone over their shoulders and that’s not something surprising.

However, if you’re doing it constantly and you always feel betrayed without any evidence, you’re either picking up on something intuitively or you just don’t trust your partner and have trust issues.

En cualquier caso, tienes que aclarar las cosas. Habla abiertamente con tu pareja de tus temores y deja que te tranquilice, o piensa en cómo sanar tus problemas de confianza.

Si has tenido malas experiencias en el pasado, suele hacer falta mucho tiempo para sanar adecuadamente, pero a veces sólo hace falta la persona adecuada y puede que él no lo sea.

In order to heal, we need someone who makes us feel safe. If he doesn’t make you feel safe, think about if that’s what makes you uncomfortable and if it’s really worth your efforts.

3. Tienes el impulso de corregir y comparar a tu compañero

This one isn’t easy to admit but it’s crucial. People get together and fall in love, and over time that love should grow and get stronger.

The reality is that sometimes initial infatuation starts fading and love doesn’t become stronger. but turns into constant nagging, passive-aggressive behavior, and fights.

It’s better to admit to yourself that you don’t like the person the way you thought you did than pretend they’re going to change. 

You can’t change the person – that’s the biggest mistake people make. They believe they can change another person, but that’s impossible.

You can either accept and love the person as they are or find someone who’s a better match.

4. Mientes sobre el dinero

Money is one thing that often takes center stage in arguments. If you want to spend life with someone, that means you’ll need to talk about money mucho.

So, if you lie about the money you spend or anything else money-related, that’s an issue.

If you can’t be honest with your partner and work with them as a team – or at least agree on certain things – it’s always going to be an issue for you. It’s not something that will sort itself out.

You shouldn’t lie about things that make up a pretty big part of life.

5. Necesitas recordarte a ti mismo por qué estás con ellos

It’s okay to feel dissatisfied in a relationship from time to time, but if you’re feeling it often, something isn’t right.

If you find yourself trying to rationalize your love for them or living on memories of things that happened in your past, then maybe your relationship simply isn’t working as it should.

A healthy relationship makes you feel good inside. You don’t question it – it makes you confident in yourself and your partner.

Don’t be afraid to make changes in your life if you feel dissatisfied. Deep down in your heart, you know the right thing to do and all you need to do is be brave.