Siempre vuelven (y estas son las razones)
Cuando se trata del mundo de las citas, creo firmemente en dos cosas: Donde hay voluntad, hay un camino y Al final, siempre vuelven.
Y puedo decirle que tengo más de una razón para creerlo.
Al final, siempre parecen encontrar el camino de vuelta a tu vida, a tu bandeja de entrada o a tu mente.
¿Por qué vuelven siempre? Permíteme decirlo de otro modo: ¿Por qué siempre vuelven cuando ya has pasado página?
En la regla del no contacto ¿convertirlos en nuevas especies?
Para que, en lugar de buscar a otra persona, se dediquen a buscar la manera de volver a entrar en tu vida al menos para echar un vistazo furtivo (porque significa mucho para ellos).
In the end, they always come back. It is a phenomenon as old as the world itself. And today, we’ll list all the reasons why this happens!
The “Art” Of Taking You For Granted
The majority of ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends who eventually come back have mastered the “art” of taking you for granted beforehand.
En resumen, una de las mayores razones por las que los ex se convierten en ex en primer lugar y por las que deciden volver es porque te dieron por sentado.
Puse a propósito la palabra arte entre comillas para acentuar su lado sarcástico y su fuerza.
But, I’m starting to think that maybe I should’ve written pandemic instead because its outbreak is very similar to (or maybe even surpasses) the Coronavirus disease.
The stages of the “art” of taking you for granted are the following:
– They selfishly feed off your love and don’t reciprocate or give anything in return
– They stop working for your love but continue to expect it
– You blindly give more and more thinking something will change
– They leave when they notice that you’re not involved anymore / as before.
The outcomes of the “art” of dándote por sentado son las siguientes:
– You ending up with severe heartbreak thinking that you did something wrong
– You thinking about what you could have done different
– You healing and realizing they were never even worthy of being a part of your life
– Them coming back.
El acento se pone en ellos. Ya voy. Atrás.
After they’ve depleted their source of unconditional love, they suddenly realize that it’s time to leave.
They don’t give a damn about how you feel, let alone about starting to make an effort instead of only expecting things from you.
Sólo piensan en recibir.
Y luego, vuelven.
After leaving you heartbroken and devastated, they decide that it’s time to come back to their source of unconditional love, check that it’s still there, or prove you that they’ve changed and if you only give them a chance, everything will be different?
Su aparición de la nada te deja con 100 preguntas y ni una sola respuesta.
¿O tal vez la respuesta se encuentre en la verdadera razón de su regreso?
15 razones por las que siempre vuelven (después de romperte el corazón)
1. They know or (somehow magically) sense that you’ve moved on
I swear to God, if this hadn’t happened to me multiple times, there’s not a chance I would ever believe it.
Tras una ruptura reciente, me quedé confusa e incrédula y lo único que podía pensar era: ¿Qué he hecho mal?
Back then I didn’t understand that it wasn’t me who was the problem, but my willingness to put up with everything they did to me.
Pasaron días, semanas y meses hasta que finalmente me limpié de su presencia tóxica y decidí empezar un nuevo capítulo.
En lugar de llorar viendo comedias románticas, decidí recuperar mi energía, salir con mis amigos y volver a tener citas porque sí.
It was right then, when I was laughing my ass off with a new guy I’d just met, that I realized I had FINALLY, oficialmente trasladado ¡y superé todo el asunto!
Ya no pensaba en mi ex (ni siquiera en sueños) y para mí todo lo que había pasado antes era cosa del pasado.
Un par de semanas después, cuando recibía mi dosis diaria de redes sociales, HE texted me – my EX texted me! Lo primero que me vino a la mente fue:
How in the world does he know that I’ve moved on (because I certainly don’t remember telling him that the last time Hablé con él)? How come didn’t he show up when I was in the middle of the healing process?
And since my friends haven’t told him anything, the only logical conclusion that’s left is the following:
Both women and men come back when they somehow magically sense that you’ve moved on.
I’m pretty sure all exes have this “moving on” psychic radar built into their system. So, beware of that one!
2. OR they’re testing the waters
Otra razón por la que siempre vuelven es para tantear el terreno. ¿Qué significa esto exactamente? Se lo demostraré.
The moment your ex decided to walk away, they certainly didn’t think about coming back to you ever – or at least any time soon.
Mientras tú sufrías, ellos seguían viviendo su vida como si nada hubiera pasado. Pero no por mucho tiempo.
Perhaps they had a dream about you, perhaps they secretly saw you somewhere in town (without you even knowing it), or maybe they saw a happy picture of you on social media (if you haven’t unfollowed them, of course).
And that’s when they decided to test the waters. Curiosity is a powerful thing that can force us to do things we’ve never thought about doing before.
All of a sudden, they want to know what’s happening in your life, whether you are still single, whether you’re happy or miserable.
Quieren saber si tienen posibilidades de recuperarte.
In the majority of cases, they don’t test the waters because they want to make sure that you’re doing just fine without them, but because they want to make sure you still NEED and WANT them.
Y una vez que lo han descubierto, siguen viviendo su mejor vida.
Bastante cutre, ¿verdad?
3. Se preguntan si tomaron la decisión correcta
Creo que esta razón es la más molesta de todas. (Si estás de acuerdo conmigo, asiente con la cabeza).
There’s nothing more annoying in the whole world than deciding to do something only to end up questioning the validity of your decision.
Esto estaría totalmente bien si se tratara de comprar calcetines.
So, you buy a pair of socks in a store and once you get home, you realize that maybe you shouldn’t have bought them because you don’t really like them, because you think the other sock’s looked better.
This isn’t about socks, though. It’s about someone’s heart FFS!
Here’s my question to all those wondering whether they made the right decision after they chose to leave someone: Why didn’t you think of that before???
You can’t have your cake and eat it, right?
Así que reevaluar tus decisiones cuando alguien ha empezado claramente a vivir su propia vida de nuevo es patético, miserable y totalmente injusto.
In addition, questioning one’s decisions is closely connected to regret.
It’s when an individual begins to consider all the pros and cons of their decision due to a guilty conscience and the fact that they have probably made a mistake.
But, let’s get something clear: Leaving someone is a choice, not a mistake!
4. Les remuerde la conciencia
If I’ve learned one thing during my life and from the experience of others, it’s the following:
Conscience doesn’t know age. You could be an 80 year-old legit grandpa or grandma and still feel guilty about something you did in your twenties. Yup.
They always come back because at some point they’ll start feeling guilty about something they said, dis, or thought about doing.
They’ll start thinking about every bad thing they did or said to you when you were together.
They’ll enter a phase called “labyrinth”. One moment they’ll think about how they suck(ed) because they took you for granted and didn’t deserve you.
The next moment they’ll fool themselves that it’s nothing serious and not something they should worry about.
Pero, en el fondo de su corazón, ellos mismos sabrán que su mala conciencia interfiere en su vida cotidiana.
Once they acknowledge this, they’ll realize that they should do something about it.
They’ll decide that they should reach out to you, ask you how you feel, and apologize for everything they did to you in the hope that they will finally be at peace with themselves.
They always come back because you can’t continue living your life knowing that you ruined someone else’s. It’s the natural law of every human being.
It’s something that prevents an individual from finding their own happiness because they know they ruined someone else’s.
5. They’re single and desperate
This is when they wake up in the morning and realize they haven’t received a good morning text message from the one who used to love them.
It’s when they come home drunk and realize they’ve got no one to laugh with and share life’s funny circumstances with.
It’s when they realize they’re single and desperate for love, affection, or just sex.
The worst thing about breakups is the sudden realization that you’re all alone for the first time in a while.
Algunas personas lo llevan bien, mientras que otras no pueden dejar de pensar en su ex (incluso si fueron ellas las que iniciaron la ruptura en primer lugar).
Still, this is not a valid excuse to start violating an ex’s privacy. Being desperate because you’re single is definitely not a valid excuse for anything, let alone booty calls or drunk calls.
It takes a real man or woman to say what they really mean when they’re in a sober state.
Se necesita una persona de verdad para llegar a alguien de su pasado cuando su sangre no está saturada de alcohol.
Véase también: 8 razones por las que los hombres desaparecen y luego intentan volver
6. O te echan de menos de verdad
O puede que no se sientan solos ni desesperados, pero que te echen de menos de verdad.
They can’t stop thinking about all the good memories of you two together, the way you talk, walk, think…
Cada cosa les recuerda a ti. Cuando ven algo de lo que solías burlarte, inmediatamente se imaginan tus graciosas expresiones faciales.
There’s a chance they’ve kept all the gifts and things you gave them and now every time they look at them, they instantly evoke memories of you.
Sometimes they come back because they truly, genuinely miss you. They can’t help thinking about you 24/7 even though they’re trying to distract themselves.
So, they decide to wait for a few days to see whether this “miss you” phase will end.
But, that usually doesn’t happen, so the urge to text you or call you starts to grow stronger.
Cuando por fin se atreven a ponerse en contacto con usted, suelen empezar la conversación con algo como: Hola, I’ve been thinking about you a lot…
Y lo primero que probablemente le vendría a la mente es: ¡Mentira! To them, their message is perfectly normal, but to you it’s one of the most confusing things you’ve ever heard.
It’s hard to believe that a person who walked away from you will all of a sudden change their game.
It’s hard to believe that they would ever tell you that they missed you, but sometimes it’s the truth!
7. O quieren ver si les echas de menos tanto como ellos a ti
Or perhaps they just want to see if you miss them the way they miss you. These types of people are insecure about the whole “missing you” thing and that’s why they first need the green light from you.
They first want to make sure you miss them the way they miss you and until they know, they won’t react.
I guess you’re now wondering why would someone do that?
Bueno, hay algunas razones:
-Te echan de menos de verdad y quieren que tú también les eches de menos.
-Quieren ver si todavía tienen una oportunidad.
-They have no intention of doing anything about it, but they’re just curious.
Sometimes it’s really hard to differentiate between these three, but there are some things that might help you. Pay attention to the way they text you or talk to you.
¿Te hacen muchas preguntas personales (especialmente sobre tu vida amorosa)?
¿Mencionan algo de su relación anterior y le recuerdan los grandes momentos que pasaron juntos?
If yes, then you know they’re trying to figure out whether you still care about them (because they definitely care about you).
They’re probably waiting for the green light from you because they’re too afraid to express their feelings for you.
Véase también: Cómo hacer que tu ex te eche de menos: 10 maneras fáciles de conseguirlo
8. They realize that the grass isn’t greener on the other side
Multiple times I’ve witnessed partners leaving because they’re convinced there’s something better out there.
Esto se conoce como ‘Grass is Greener’ syndrome.
It’s when you think that there is something better out there to what you already have.
It’s when you fear that you’re missing something. This syndrome is omnipresent in almost every section of our lives and it’s really toxic.
So, when they decided to leave their partner, they were thrilled and excited about entering the world of “better”.
Eran optimistas respecto a encontrar a alguien perfecto o mejor que su pareja anterior.
And then, they realized that the grass isn’t greener on the other side after all. They realized that every single person they met had their own flaws and that no one is perfect.
So, the pursuit of perfection (the greener grass) results in disappointment and that’s when they decide to come back.
De repente, se dan cuenta de lo que ya tenían y empiezan a lloriquear como bebés.
Al final, siempre vuelven. Vuelven cuando se dan cuenta de que todo este tiempo estaban dando por sentada a su pareja.
Cuando se dan cuenta de que la hierba es la misma en todas partes, y todo lo que tienen que hacer es abrir los ojos y verlo.
9. They’re testing your boundaries
Sometimes they come back just to test your boundaries. They’re curious about how you’ll react to their presence out of blue.
They want to know whether you’ll still dance to their tune or whether you’ll be interested in welcoming them back.
Whatever the reason, testing someone’s boundaries is always a tricky thing (not to say dangerous).
It’s about being an intruder on someone who probably got over them a long time ago. It’s about shamelessly teasing the other person only to see how far they will go.
¿Por qué alguien haría eso?
Because they’re bored, because they can’t accept the fact that the other person moved on, because they want to reunite?
Or they’re doing it just because they can. They’re testing your boundaries because they enjoy observing your reactions to their initiations.
They’re testing you to see whether you’re the same person who would do anything for them no matter what.
Well, are you? Hmm…
10. They’re jealous
In today’s modern world, it has never been easier to become jealous of someone you want to forget or you still have feelings for.
Basta con echar un vistazo a Facebook, Instagram o Snapchat. Siempre vuelven cuando ven que podrías ser feliz con otra persona.
That the person you’re laughing within a picture might be someone new in your life (someone better than them?).
Este síndrome de celos de las redes sociales le ocurrió a mi amigo hace poco.
She posted a picture with her new friend (and boy, he’s good looking) and the next day her ex texted her. Yup!
Sentía curiosidad por su vida amorosa e intentaba averiguar si seguía soltera.
It was an out of blue check-in she definitely didn’t expect any time soon.
They always come back when they’re jealous. When they realize that you’re no longer waiting for them to return but building your own ship and cruising.
¡Cuando se den cuenta de que alguien puede estar tratándoles como se merecen!
Véase también: Cómo poner celosa a tu ex: 13 métodos infalibles para conseguirlo
11. Quieren la persecución (específicamente reservada a los hombres)
Otra cosa en la que creo firmemente es la siguiente: ¡A los hombres les ENCANTA la persecución! Viven para la persecución, alaban la persecución, mueren por la persecución.
The moment they’re born, this chase button activates and it becomes a part of every aspect of their life.
To help you understand this phenomenon better here’s my humble explanation: So, let’s say you meet a guy in a bar.
He’s attractive, handsome, a good looking guy, right? Also, his personality is addictive and you can’t help yourself but fall for him immediately.
But, of course, you won’t let him know this the second you meet him. Instead, you will let him chase you because that’s exactly what he wants, right?
A los hombres: ¡La persecución es amor, la persecución es vida!
Y cuando por fin des muestras de que él también te gusta, se sentirá completo y realizado.
Why? Because he’s succeeded in winning you which is the ultimate goal of the chase.
Now, let’s say you’re in a relationship with this guy for some time. You slowly, but surely start forming your relationship routine and things are no longer as exciting as before.
And that’s when he decides to leave. And then, after some time, when you’re no longer his, he COMES BACK!
Why? Because now he’s got another opportunity to chase you!
Cuando lo ves explicado así, suena divertidísimo, ¿verdad?
But, it’s the truth. Believe it or not, many men come back just because their chase button is telling them to do so.
Y este es mi mensaje para ellos: Chase her even when she’s already yours!
12. They’re pressured by their friends and family
I always say that when you meet someone’s friends and family, you somehow end up in a relationship with them too.
After all, friends and family are an important part of everyone’s life and they can be very influential when it comes to making decisions.
They can be influential to the extent of pressuring them to reunite with their ex – you. I will repeat again: Why?
Because they probably like you a lot and they think you’re the only person that is truly good for him/her.
Perhaps they’ve realized their mistake and now they’re trying to convince them to go back to you. The pressure doesn’t stop.
They always come back. And, sometimes it’s because their friends and family are telling them to do so.
Su gente les ayuda a darse cuenta de que cometieron un error y que deben disculparse y buscar el perdón.
And, sometimes that’s exactly what they need. A little push from the people closest to them to realize the mistake of letting you go.
13. They’re sexualmente frustrado and you’re the only one who can put them out of their misery
With you, they enjoyed steamy activities more than anything. When they left, they were hoping to find the same passion and the same fulfillment with others. But, they didn’t.
Whomever they slept with, they couldn’t reach the same level of compatibility and fulfillment as they did with you and now they’ve become sexually frustrated.
Now they’ve realized that you’re the only one who can put them out of their misery. Yup.
Quieren experimentar la misma alegría que cuando estaban contigo.
And that’s why they decide to text you, to call you, or to knock on your door hoping you’ll be happy to see them.
In other words, hoping that you’ll be eager to sleep with them like old times.
If you’re feeling the same way about them, then there’s nothing to lose. But, if you’re still emotionally attached to them, then you should be cautious about getting physical with them.
14. Se arrepienten de haber roto contigo
Ah, regrets… I like to compare the feeling of regret with buying shoes.
It’s when you go to the store and you see a perfect pair of shoes but for some reason, you don’t buy them. They’re either too expensive or you think you’ll eventually find better elsewhere.
Then you go home and contemplate the shoes you didn’t buy. So, you return to the store with the intention of finally buying them only to realize that they’re gone.
Alguien ya los ha comprado mientras tú pensabas comprarlos.
Un escenario similar pasa por su cabeza cuando se arrepienten de haber roto contigo.
They become aware of the fact that they won’t find someone better elsewhere. And that they might be too late if you’re already happy with someone else.
Se arrepienten de no haberte tratado como te merecías, de no haberte querido como tú les quisiste a ellos.
They finally realize that they were selfish, ignorant, and egocentric, blah blah…They realize that they were only focused on their own happiness.
And now they want to make things right and make up for everything they’ve done wrong.
15. They know you’ll take them back (OR will you?)
And sometimes they come back just because they know you’ll take them back. They never truly left you.
En el momento en que decidieron dejarte, sabían que algún día querrían volver.
They took you for granted because they were convinced that they could come back into your life whenever it’s convenient.
One of my favorite sentences I’ve ever written is this one: Don’t let them wait just because you know they will!
In other words, don’t treat someone like shit just because you know they will tolerate it. There will come a day when they WON’T and it will be too late. But, as always:
It’s up to you to decide whether you should take them back or let them go!
Siempre vuelven, pero ¿hay que aceptarlos siempre?
They say that it’s much easier to deal with heartbreak the second time it happens. But, this is still not a valid reason to welcome them back into your life, right?
La decisión de recuperar o no a tu ex es exclusivamente tuya. Sólo tú sabes cómo te sientes con ellos o sin ellos.
Pero, recuerda una cosa: si tu ex va a volver, ¡tiene que ser por voluntad propia!
Nunca hay que obligarles a hacerlo, y mucho menos suplicarles. Tienen que hacerlo porque QUIEREN y no porque
TENEMOS que hacerlo y tiene que ser por las razones correctas.
Véase también: 20 señales definitivas de que tu ex acabará volviendo
