Una Parte De Mí Todavía Te Quiere, Pero Ya Lo He Superado
When I remember the days and months we spent in our city, just driving in your car and sitting on the beach, my heart stops. I wonder how that is still possible. It has been two years now since our last kiss, but I don’t remember the taste of your lips or your smell. I just remember the feeling I had when you were holding me, back there on the beach.
Our story is nothing special when I compare it to some ‘Romeo and Juliet’ stories. We met because we had a common friend, we laughed because we had the same sense of humor. Maybe it is better to describe it like this: I always loved my jokes and you were the first person who loved them as much as I did. I enjoyed the way you looked me like I was something so different and beautiful, even though I was an ordinary girl who loved watching TV and salir con los amigos.
So I suppose you liked that I wasn’t complicated, and I didn’t ask you for anything. Your life wasn’t like that. However, I figured that out later, when it was too late. It was so disappointing finding out that you were so fascinated by my simplicity and kindness, just because all of your ex-girlfriends were so demanding. The reason they were like that was because you cheated on some of them, you lied and fuiste egoísta.
In the beginning, I didn’t see that. I realized that it is true that people in love are blind. When you hurt me the first or the second or the third time, I ignored that. I always found a good excuse for you. My friends saw you the way you were. They told me millions of times that you were not good enough for me, that you didn’t deserve me and that you only thought about yourself and what was good for you.
Sabía que tenían razón, en el fondo conocía la verdad, pero seguía ignorándolo todo. ¿Qué conseguí con eso? Más decepciones y humillaciones. La razón por la que seguía contigo era que eras tan buen mentirosome manipulaste perfectamente y pudiste hacerlo tan fácilmente porque yo era tan enamorado de ti. Te quería porque eras valiente, siempre me sentí protegida contigo y nadie antes me había hecho sentir tan guapa como tú.
And then the time came. I knew I needed to let you go because being with you was hurting me more than making me happy. I felt like I was losing myself and becoming something I was not. You wanted to make me small, so you could be bigger for yourself. And that is not love. It was hard at the beginning, I missed you and I didn’t want to talk about you to anyone. I needed to fight this fight alone, because I was my enemy, that part of me who loved you still.
I haven’t lived in that city for two years’ I am always happy when I go there because I have so many beautiful memories, but I am always afraid of seeing you. I don’t know how I would feel. I am happy now, I have him and he is the best thing that ever happened to me. Me quiere y me respeta de una forma que tú nunca podrías haber hecho.
Para cuando me había olvidado de ti y seguí adelante con mi vidaempezaste a mandarme mensajes sobre lo mucho que me echabas de menos. Supongo que es la justicia que te da la vida. Hay que aprender una lección. Ahora estás sintiendo todo lo que yo sentí cuando me rechazaste, cuando yo era el número dos o cinco o diez en tu vida, mientras que tú eras mi número uno.
It is funny how memories work—some things we can’t remember, and some things we can never forget. I can never forget those days at the beach when you made me laugh, even though you hurt me. So yes, part of me still loves you, but I know just now I need to be my number one.
