Así es como encontrarás la fuerza para alejarte de una relación tóxica

En el fondo sabías que no era amor. El amor no debía ser así. No se suponía que el amor te lastimara y te disminuyera.

No se suponía que el amor te hiciera sentir menos digno. Pero, tu amor lo hizo.

Tu amor te rompía el corazón cada mañana que te despertabas. Tu amor te lastimaba con cada texto que recibías. Tu amor te destruía con cada palabra dura que decía.

It wasn’t always like that. When you met him, he wanted to give you the world. He wanted you to feel safe and protected.

He wanted to wrap you in his love and keep you safe in his arms—away from bad people, away from the vicious world.

Isn’t that every girl’s dream? Isn’t that all you’ve ever wanted?

Así que le seguiste la corriente. Así que aceptaste seguirle ciegamente porque veías un rayo de sol al final de tu oscuro y solitario túnel.

¿Quién iba a pensar que sólo te arrastraría más profundamente en la oscuridad en lugar de mostrarte la salida?

He began to change, to show his hidden ‘rotten’ face one tiny step at a time. It first began with nagging: “You shouldn’t have done this, you shouldn’t have done that…”, but gradually it became worse.

Empezó a gritarte por cada cosa que desaprobaba o le disgustaba. Quería que bailaras al ritmo de la música que ponía.

He wanted you to become someone else, someone up his street—a complete stranger to you. He wanted you to be perfect, his little work of art.

And you became that. You couldn’t recognize yourself anymore. You weren’t the person you used to be.

Poco a poco, una cosa a la vez, se aseguró de que eso sucediera. Te corregía en todo lo que hacías.

Even when you had your moments of complete soberness, when you weren’t drugged with his words and deeds, when you knew that you weren’t crazy and that you weren’t guilty of things he accused you of, you couldn’t fight back.

Te desarmaría justo al comienzo de la batalla.

Te hacía creer cosas que no eran ciertas, se inventaba palabras y les daba vida, como si hubieran salido de tu boca.

Era desesperante y estabas perdido, sin tener otro lugar al que ir que quedarte allí y esperar a que terminara.

Sometimes, you were even apologizing for things that you never did, just so you could shut him up, just so he would leave you alone already. You couldn’t listen to him and his screaming anymore.

Cada una de sus frías y despiadadas palabras te atravesaba justo en el corazón, como si fueran viejas y oxidadas pero afiladas cuchillas.

Those hurtful and degrading moments were the ones that led you to where you are today—far away from him.

Although you felt like you couldn’t take any of it anymore, you weren’t aware that every toxic move he made gave you more strength to alejarse de él. Sé que ahora lo sabes.

Cada vez que querías irte, él te atraía de nuevo... . Cada vez que te enfrentabas a él y le decías que te trataba como a una mierda, se disculpaba sólo para callarte, te trataba amablemente durante unos días y luego el círculo continuaba.

En cuanto veía que te habías calmado, volvía a ser un completo gilipollas.

Seguías pensando que cambiaría. You knew you fell in love with him for some reason, but you couldn’t remember why anymore.

Así que seguiste pensando que cambiaría. Seguías mintiéndote a ti misma diciéndote que sólo era una fase y que se le pasaría. Incluso intentaste ayudarle a ver que no era una buena persona.

All of that was in vain. These people can’t change unless they want to. You can’t do anything about it so it would be better if you’ never even tried. You should have left a long time ago.

But, it’s okay because you left. Somehow you found the strength and one simple goodbye did it. Done. He is history now.

Encontraste la fuerza para aceptar tu relación por lo que era —a pack of toxic lies. Lying and cheating became more than you could handle.

You simply cracked. And he couldn’t stop there. Not just that he lied to you, he abused you emotionally by making you believe in things that were not true.

Te dio luz de gas y te manipuló para que hiciera lo que él quería.

Encontraste la fuerza para poner fin a todo por fin. You decided you weren’t going to hurt anymore. You decided that you weren’t going to waste your life on that pathetic bastard who was sucking you dry.

You decided you’d had enough of him tearing you up inside.

Encontraste la fuerza para decirte por fin que te merecías algo mejor. You know that life doesn’t last forever and you finally realized that you might miss the right one by putting up with the wrong one.

You knew it was time to change that, at any cost. The kind of love you were getting was not the love you deserved and the amount of love you were putting into your relationship wasn’t paid back, not even a bit.

Encontraste la fuerza para aceptar que dejarlo te haría daño . Of course, you’re going to hurt. No matter what he did to you, you got used to being around that person.

He was a part of your life for a long time and now he’s gone. Every change is scary, even one for the good. The scariest part is the one that comes right after breaking up.

Estás dolida porque estás sola y sin mencionar que él se encargó de que te sintieras rechazada e indigna.

Encontraste la fuerza para tomar las riendas de tu vida. Esto es lo más importante de lo que tenías que darte cuenta. Por fin te diste cuenta de que tenías que hacer algo.

Te has dado cuenta de que te niegas a seguir viviendo así. Quizá ahora necesites ayuda de tus amigos o de tu familia, quizá necesites ayuda profesional.

Whatever it is, don’t hesitate to ask, to do something. That is only the first but most important step that awaits you in life. A life without abuse, a life without him.

Don’t let anyone define you and mold you like you’re a lousy and faceless piece of clay.

Don’t let anyone make you his own masterpiece because you are the only one who knows what you need, want and deserve. Never settle for anything else .