A long time ago I came across an outrageous testimony of a man who withdrew the decision to be the best man at his brother’s wedding, several days before the event. He couldn’t assess if his reaction was justified or whether he had betrayed his sibling.
You must be shocked too and think How could he do this to his brother?
But wait to hear the rest of the story.
A babysitter for the wife?
A man shared his story on Reddit channel AITA (the perfect place to get unbiased opinions if you’re struggling to decide if your actions are justified or not). He deleted the post in the meantime but comments remained, so it’s easy to piece the puzzle together and get the details of the story.
So at first, he had agreed to be the best man to his brother. The bride and groom invited guests from the age of 12 and above. Their guest list also included people with smaller kids so they’ve arranged an additional room for children, and the babysitter as well.
Two days before the wedding, during the rehearsal dinner, the man learned his brother and SIL (sister-in-law) assumed his wife should stay in the kids’ venue together with a babysitter. That way he would be able to relax and enjoy the wedding without the need to “feed her or anything”.
He further explained that his wife had a medical condition that was making her slow to respond or understand what others were saying. Sometimes she needed help when eating, so he would cut her food into small pieces.
All this did not make her unsuitable to sit at an adult’s table. As he explained:
“This doesn’t mean she’s nothing and she’s a smart, capable woman.”
A family pressure
The man was shocked to find out that his brother and sister-in-law decided to mistreat his disabled wife in such a disrespectful way. Surely he got very upset and backed out as a best man.
The family got furious and started texting, trying to change his mind. Comments below the post showed how the majority of readers supported his decision and condemned the behavior of his parents.
“I’d guess OPs parents are trying to avoid the embarrassment for THEM of explaining why the best man isn’t there. Sounds to me like pretty typical religious raised previous generation. Avoid the uncomfortable situation at all costs.“
People were disgusted with ableism
People in the comments were sharing his opinion and admitted they would do and expect the same from their partners.
“I would absolutely disown any relative that tried to treat me like OPs family did his wife. If my spouse didn’t stick up for me, I would disown them too. OP did right by his wife. OPs family is awful.”
Some were pointing out that his brother and SIL were infantilizing his wife.
“This is one of the most insensitive things I’ve ever read on here, by far. They absolutely did try to treat your wife like a literal child because of her disability, regardless of the reason. Just because it’s “her day” doesn’t give them the right to insult you and your wife like that.”
Everyone agreed that it was unacceptable behavior, and the man was right to withdraw his decision.
“I would be absolutely appalled and heartbroken if someone looked at my spouse like that. This is beyond disgusting behavior. She has a delay. She is NOT a child and for them to even hint that she may be better suited for the children’s venue so you can have a “better time” makes my blood boil for you.”
What is your opinion about this story? What would you do if you were in this man’s shoes?