5 modi in cui vi state facendo del male tornando dal vostro ex tossico

Have you ever felt like you’re trapped in an endless circle of love and hate with the guy you know isn’t right for you?

Quando continuate a cercare di tirarvi fuori da questa relazione tossica ma, in qualche modo, finite sempre per trascinarvi di nuovo dentro?

Well, it’s time for a reality check. It’s time you finally put a stop to these games and to stop going back to the man you have no future with.

And what is a better way of doing so then by coming to terms with all the ways you’re hurting yourself by going back to your toxic ex.

1. Il passato vi perseguita

Let’s face it—we can’t run away from our past, as much as we’d want to.

Everything we’ve been through up till this date has shaped us into becoming the people we are today and there is nothing you can do to forever erase your past traumas.

Tuttavia, è molto più facile guarire quando ci si allontana fisicamente e mentalmente dalla fonte del dolore.

It is one thing if you’re recovering from the damage someone you’ve cut off caused you and it is something completely different if that person is still a part of your life.

This is exactly what you’ve been trying to do—you’re trying to guarisci il tuo cuore accanto a colui che l'ha rotta.

Lasciate che vi dica che questo è impossibile.

2. Iniziate a pensare che questo è ciò che vi meritate

Dopo aver trascorso anni accanto a qualcuno che ti tratta come un pezzo di merda, con il tempo inizi ad accettare questo comportamento come standard e come qualcosa di normale.

After a while, you stop seeing the truth: that you’re actually settling for less and you start thinking this is what you deserve.

Somehow, your toxic boyfriend managed to convince you that every other guy will be just like him because you’re the one who’s causing him to be this way.

Your miserable love life and bad mental health are exclusively your fault and you’re the one to blame for everything, right?

3. Gli dai il permesso di spezzare il tuo cuore ancora una volta

Quando si continua a dare infiniti seconde opportunità to someone who clearly doesn’t deserve them and to someone who has hurt you more than once, you’re also giving him an opportunity to do so again.

E quando si tratta del vostro fidanzato tossico, non c'è dubbio su una cosa: questa è un'opportunità che sicuramente sfrutterà.

However, this shouldn’t surprise you, as you were the one who gave him the green light, the permission to keep on breaking your heart.

That is exactly what he’ll continue on doing because by forgiving him, you are indirectly telling him that there is nothing wrong with his behavior and that it is perfectly acceptable.

4. L'autostima è sparita

Trascorrere anni in un circolo infinito di rotture e ritorni con qualcuno di tossico scuote l'intera personalità.

Tutto questo rovina la salute emotiva e mentale e danneggia l'autostima.

This is when the person you love puts all of his efforts into diminishing your worth, into putting you down, holding you back and convincing you that you’re good for nothing.

It doesn’t matter whether this guy emotionally, verbally or even physically abuses you, if he cheats on you or doesn’t give you enough attention—the point is the same.

This guy obviously isn’t aware of your true value and after a while, you start believing that you’re not good enough.

Di conseguenza, le insicurezze aumentano e si dice addio alla fiducia in se stessi.

5. Ti privi del vero amore

One of the saddest things you’re doing to yourself by constantly getting back together with your toxic ex is the fact that you’re depriving yourself of an opportunity to find true love.

Ogni giorno in cui rimani accanto a quest'uomo è un giorno in meno in cui hai la possibilità di incontrare l'uomo che dovrebbe essere tuo.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying that you have to be in a relationship in order to be happy.

Tuttavia, vi posso assicurare che da qualche parte là fuori esiste un uomo che vi darà tutte le l'amore che meriti.

Even though you don’t have to actively seek this man, as long as you’re stuck in this unhealthy relationship you aren’t giving your forever person a chance to enter your life.

This way, you’re allowing your toxic boyfriend to ruin your future as well, after doing the same with your past and present.