5 sgradevoli segnali che indicano che lui sta "fingendo" il futuro

Se avete un po' di esperienza nel mondo degli appuntamenti moderni, probabilmente pensate che gli uomini peggiori siano quelli che vi trascinano, senza mai darvi il posto che meritate nella loro vita.

The ones who you never know where you stand with, don’t want anything serious, and run away at the sound of the word “future.” 

Well, let me tell you that you can’t be more wrong. Even though these guys are douchebags, you should be grateful for their honesty and walk away in time.

In this case, at least you know what you’re dealing with.

They’re clear about their desire to fool around, without any intention of committing, and if that’s something you don’t want, nobody is forcing or manipulating you to stay.

On the other hand, it’s way worse being with a man who convinces you that he wants to grow old with you, makes concrete plans about your life together, and keeps on bringing up a bright future for the two of you.

Of course, all of this sounds great if we’re talking about a guy who actually fulfills his promises. 

Tuttavia, se è tutto chiacchiere e niente azione, raramente va oltre i suoi piani e non si dà mai da fare per mantenere le sue promesse, avete un problema.

It’s likely that he’s future-faking you, just so he can use you in all possible ways. 

But how can you know whether his intentions are pure or he’s a big fat liar? Just read the signs below and it’ll all become crystal clear to you. 

Ti sta bombardando d'amore

I don’t know if you’ve heard about this phenomena, but bombardamento d'amore è una delle tattiche più comuni che i narcisisti usano per attirare le loro vittime.

Allo stesso tempo, è una delle tecniche che lascia anche le conseguenze peggiori. 

After all those emotionally unavailable men who didn’t know what they wanted, had trouble putting a label on your relationship and defining it, ran away from commitment, and were never clear about their emotions, now you’ve finally met someone who’s completely different. 

A man who doesn’t have a problem with telling and showing you how much you mean to him.

Un uomo che ti fa gesti romantici e sorprese fin dal primo giorno.

A man who opens up to you, makes you a part of his life, listens to you, and – finally – a man who obviously loves you unconditionally.

Un uomo perfetto che ha incrociato il vostro cammino proprio nel momento in cui ne avevate più bisogno. 

Yes, you might get suspicious. You two have known each other for a very short period of time and despite that, he claims that you’re the love of his life and that he plans on spending eternity with you.

Tuttavia, dimenticate rapidamente i vostri dubbi semplicemente perché volete e dovete credergli.

Ebbene, lasciate che vi dica che questo può costarvi un sacco di nervi ed è probabilmente uno dei vostri più grandi errori, perché il love bombing è uno dei primi segni sicuri che qualcuno vi sta prendendo in giro. 

When you first meet a guy who has the intention of love bombing you, you can’t believe that you got so lucky and wonder whether he’s too good to be true.

Ebbene, per quanto mi dispiaccia essere io a rompere la vostra bolla di sapone, la triste verità è che è così. 

He promises a lot…

Un altro segnale che indica che un ragazzo sta fingendo per il futuro sono i suoi promesse vuote. Whenever you two talk, he has big plans for your relationship and does his best to convince you he’s honest. 

Even if he hasn’t proposed, he’s definitely talking about the way your life together should look like, about buying a house – he even mentions names for your future kids.

Sembra una favola, vero?

Well, sadly, it’s everything but that. 

…but his actions don’t match his words

The problem lies in the fact that this man’s actions rarely match his words.

Actually, if you’re honest, you’ll notice that in most situations, he doesn’t stand behind what he preaches and ends up apologizing for his lies, promising he’ll never repeat them. 

And I’m not talking about promises regarding the distant future here only.

I’m talking short term plans as well, such as proposing a dinner date and then standing you up, planning a vacation and then leaving you hanging, or even lying that he’ll call you back in a few minutes, which never happens. 

At first, all of this might seem irrelevant and something you should forgive him for in a blink of an eye, in comparison to all the love he’s giving you.

However, one thing’s for sure: he’s a bugiardo compulsivo che sfrutta ogni occasione per ingannarvi. 

Let’s be straight: if you can’t rely on him regarding these small things, what can you expect when it comes to something more important?

If he isn’t trustworthy and you can’t count on him fulfilling his promise about taking you out, how can you believe him when he tells you that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you?

Well, the only possible answer is that you can’t. In fact, it seems that he’s doing all of this on purpose.

It’s like he enjoys seeing you looking forward to your plans together, just so he can disappoint you when he crushes all of your hopes and dreams. 

Rispecchia i vostri desideri

L'aspetto peggiore dei future-faker è la loro natura versatile.

Questo ragazzo userà le sue tecniche subdole per manipolarvi al fine di scoprire cosa volete e vi aspettate dalla vita, solo per poter rispecchiare tutti i vostri desideri e presentarsi come il vostro uomo perfetto.

He’ll analyze your every word and observe your behavior carefully until he gets all the intel he needs.

After he’s done with his investigation, he’ll suddenly show up and tell you that he wants exactly those things. 

Of course, you won’t notice any of this and instead be certain that you’ve found your soulmate.

After all those wrong men, you’ve finally met someone completely compatible with you. 

Obviously, you’ll see it as a sign of destiny. As a sign that voi due siete destinati a stare insieme because there’s no other valid explanation for running into a man whose personality is the spitting image of yours. 

There’s no doubt that he’s the man you’ve been waiting your entire life for. He’s your other half and your match made in heaven. 

Oh boy, how wrong you are. Even though it’s nice having a boyfriend with a similar attitude and outlook to yours, the truth is that it’s utterly impossible to not disagree on literally everything. 

La verità è che questo uomo tossico doesn’t have an opinion of his own and even when he does, he carefully hides it because it’s different from yours.

He’s nothing but a people pleaser who’s pretending to be someone he’s not in order to get under your skin with more ease. 

Promette di cambiare

At first, narcissists only show you their good sides. According to the first impression, they’re everything a woman could ever wish for: loving, caring, attentive, and kind. 

Tuttavia, dopo un po' di tempo, le loro maschere iniziano lentamente a cadere, nonostante le loro straordinarie capacità di recitazione. È allora che mostrano i loro veri colori e i loro difetti. 

Nevertheless, even when this happens, they won’t allow you to leave them. Instead, they keep on reassuring you that they won’t go back to their old ways.

When you’re involved with a future-faker, he’ll blackmail you that he’ll change nel momento in cui, ad esempio, andate a vivere insieme o celebrate il vostro matrimonio.

However, he isn’t ready to show you any inkling of these changes he keeps talking about at this point of your relationship. 

Sounds familiar, right? Well, that’s nothing but a bandiera rossa per iniziare a fuggire per la vostra vita.