7 conseguenze dannose dell'inseguimento di un ragazzo che non vuole essere preso

Have you ever found yourself running after a man who clearly doesn’t want you? After a man who can never give you what you want and who will never love you enough?

If you have, you’ll be well aware of how painful this situation can be. It’s not that you end up heartbroken–your ego is ruined, as well.

However, besides this pain, chasing a guy who doesn’t want to get caught brings numerous other long lasting consequences. Here are seven of them.

1. Il senso di autostima scompare

The first consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be yours, is that you lose all sense of your self value.

You can’t help but take this man’s rejection personally and after a while, you convince yourself that there is something wrong with you.

You wonder why the man you are into can’t love you and doesn’t want you. What do you need to change about yourself to become more appealing and attractive to him?

After all, you’ve done everything in your power to win him over.

You’ve put in maximum effort and given him your best self but even so, he hasn’t had the decency to choose you.

So, you come to the conclusion that you’re non sufficiente per lui.

You don’t know whether it’s your looks, your character, or something else but the bottom line is that you’re missing something and all your efforts can’t seem to compensate for it.

Di conseguenza, perdete la vostra autostima e iniziate a trovare difetti nel vostro aspetto e nella vostra personalità, cercando di trovare la causa della sua indifferenza.

Not only that–you also go as far as comparing yourself to all the other girls around him. What do they have that you don’t?

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2. Ci si sente svuotati

Dopo un po' di tempo passato a correre dietro a un uomo che non vi ha mai voluto, è naturale sentirsi stanchi ed emotivamente esausti.

It’s like the chase and all of the mind games you’ve been trying to play have gotten the best of you.

They’ve taken away your energy and sucked the life out of you, leaving you completely drained and empty.

You feel like you’ve just gotten out of a war–and this is exactly what this was: a battle which you didn’t have the slightest chance of winning.

Naturally, this experience has changed you. It’s turned you into a negative and bitter person who has lost her optimism and will to live.

La cosa peggiore è che tutti questi sforzi sono stati vani. Avete investito così tanto di voi stessi solo per non ottenere nulla.

In realtà, siete riusciti a perdere voi stessi e la visione positiva che avevate del mondo. E questo non è certo ciò per cui avete firmato e non è ciò che vi aspettavate.

3. You have relationship problems with someone you’re not in a relationship with

Tra le altre cose, la conseguenza più dannosa è senza dubbio l'avere problemi di relazione with someone you’re not in an actual relationship with.

In realtà, vi trovate in una sorta di situazione indefinita, una quasi relazione, o come diavolo volete chiamarla.

Either way, the point is that you have the arguments, the jealous outbursts, the anxiety when he doesn’t respond to your texts. You have the lack of trust, understanding, and compromise.

I won’t lie to you–some of these things also happen in real relationships. Not all the time, but even if they do, it’s not the end of the world and a couple will work to overcome them.

Every relationship has its negative sides. Nevertheless, sometimes, it’s worth putting up with them because of all the good things your romance brings.

Alla fine della giornata, avete una persona che vi ama e vi rispetta, e una persona che sapete non vi abbandonerà mai.

Tuttavia, quando si tratta della vostra relazione, le cose sono molto diverse. Avete problemi di relazione e tutti i lati negativi di una storia d'amore senza quelli positivi.

E questo è uno schifo!

4. Si diventa insicuri

Another dangerous consequence of chasing a guy who doesn’t want to be caught is the insicurezze che provoca.

Without even planning it, you apply your overthinking state of mind to everyone–not just to your almost boyfriend.

It is perfectly normal to have lost your trust in everyone and not believe in anyone’s intentions anymore. You are convinced that everyone is out to get you and wants to hurt you.

Moreover– you overthink your every move, in constant fear of making a mistake and doing something wrong.

Without even being aware of it, you’ve become a people pleaser and you’ve started walking on eggshells around everyone because you are afraid that they will also think of you as not enough and reject you the same way this guy did.

Naturalmente non c'è nulla di male nel riflettere prima di agire.

Tuttavia, c'è un'enorme differenza tra l'essere saggi e attenti e l'analizzare e sviscerare ogni vostra mossa prima di farla.

5. Si perdono molte opportunità

You’re someone who can only focus on one guy at a time.

You don’t give a damn whether he’s worthy of your attention or whether he is giving you any positive feedback–when you love a man, you have eyes only for him.

This is a great quality when you’re in a relationship with someone who is also one hundred percent loyal, faithful, and devoted.

On the other hand, when you’re the solo uno che ci prova Questo tratto può portare a conseguenze dannose.

Vede, mentre andava dietro a quest'uomo a cui non è mai importato nulla di lei, ha perso molte buone opportunità.

Ci sono stati numerosi ragazzi simpatici che hanno cercato di provarci con te, ma tu non te ne sei accorta perché eri cieca.

Even though you’re not actually taken, this is exactly how you behave: as if you were in a serious relationship, when you should be putting yourself out there.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to deliberately enter a rebound relationship, I’m just begging you to at least take into consideration someone who deserves you.

6. Ansia da relazione

Dopo le numerose delusioni che quest'uomo vi ha fatto subire, è naturale finire per avere ansia da relazione.

You assume that every time you give it a shot with someone new, it will always be the same: you’ll find yourself begging for love from a man who keeps pushing you away while simultaneously giving you just enough false hope to keep you around.

Così, invece di provare qualcosa di nuovo, si costruiscono muri intorno al proprio cuore.

Of course, this doesn’t happen right away and you’re probably unaware of it at this point, but when you fall out of love with this douchebag and think you’re ready to give love another shot, it will hit you.

You’ll realize that, as much as you try, you’re unable to relax and give your entire self.

You’ll become overly careful and terrified of romantic relationships because you won’t see a chance for any of them to work out.

Se questo è un caso che vi riguarda, tenete presente che non tutti sono come il vostro quasi ex.

As much as it’s scary to lower your guard, there are men out there who are worthy of the risk.

7. Perdita di tempo

When you first fall in love with a man who doesn’t want you back, you don’t see it as a big deal.

You think you’ll try to win him over once or twice before you give up on him and forget he ever existed.

However, things don’t work that way. Before you know it, you find yourself trapped in a seemingly endless circle of his rejections and realize that nothing has gone the way you planned.

La cosa peggiore è che, senza che ve ne rendiate conto, il tempo vi passa davanti in un batter d'occhio. E le emozioni si intensificano, invece di svanire.

Si finisce per anni di perdita per qualcuno che non ha mai meritato un minuto del vostro tempo. Anni che avreste potuto e dovuto investire in altro.

Quante volte avete passato il tempo a pensare a lui, mentre avreste potuto dormire tranquillamente?

Quante lacrime, quante energie e sforzi avete buttato via, senza la possibilità di riaverli indietro?

And most importantly–how many years do you plan on wasting, waiting for a miracle which will never come?

I bet even you don’t know the answer. So, why exactly do you keep on doing this to yourself?