È ora di lasciar perdere le tue stronzate

There it is. I finally feel like I’ve got to that point in my life where I can shout from the top of my lungs to everyone who bothers me, loud and clear: “FU!”

I’m finally at that stage where I simply don’t give a damn anymore.

I don’t VOGLIA everyone to like me, I don’t NECESSITÀ to be in charge of everything, I don’t NECESSITÀ soffrire per attirare l'attenzione.

I’m a grown-ass woman who is done with bulls**t.

È qui che intervenite voi.

Since this piece was inspired by your bullying and your crazy little manipulations, I suggest you take a seat and get comfortable because I’ve just started to take out my frustrations which I’ve been collecting for years.

So yes… it’s going to be a long ride.

Mi dispiace quasi per me stesso per non aver capito tutto prima.

Perché quasi, vi chiederete?

Well, the reason I’m NOT sorry is that I was fed so much bullshit that I ran out of places to store it, so it eventually started hitting me on the head with an intention to make me realize what an idiot I’ve been this whole time.

I know I would have never reached this blissful stage of complete enlightenment if I’d kept the BS from everyone deep inside, suffering in silence and coping with it when no one was looking.

That’s why I’m glad it happened anyway.

Ora, almeno, so di aver dato il massimo. So che ho provato di tutto, ma non ho mai avuto un riscontro positivo da parte vostra.

Hai continuato a vivere la tua vita senza compromessi, come se fossi solo in essa.

Hai continuato a essere egoista senza curarti di tutti gli avvertimenti che sono arrivati da un giorno all'altro.

Now that I’ve become indifferent, it’s too late for you to fix things. There is no going back.

For the sake of this article and for the sake of people still storing frustrations inside themselves, I’m going to write as many fundamentally stupid things as I can remember and the mistakes you made which slowly drove me away from you.

I know it’s hard to face the truth but bear with me… it might do you good and help you become a better version of yourself… IT. JUST. MIGHT.

BS No. 1 – Your hidden self-loathing was not my problem

Over time, I realized that the problem wasn’t me and I shouldn’t take any more BS because I was in no way responsible for the problems coming our way (despite how hard you tried to manipulate me into thinking it WAS all my fault).

The problem was you… all along, it was you.

You hated yourself for the things you did or better said, for the things you didn’t do and you should have.

I rimpianti ti accecavano e non riuscivi mai a superarli. Avevi bisogno di qualcuno con cui sfogarti.

Ero la fonte di energia vivente più vicina a cui le vostre intenzioni velenose potessero attaccarsi.

I’m aware of that now and I’m finally putting an end to it—something I should have done a long time ago.

BS No. 2 – You made me (in one word) MISERABLE

Sorridere divenne qualcosa che facevo solo in rare occasioni. Quelle rughe felici sembravano svanire quando passavo più tempo con te.

Me, a girl who was always laughing and in good spirits… I became unrecognizable.

C'erano occasioni in cui sorridevo, ma tutti quelli che mi conoscevano bene vedevano che lo stavo forzando.

They all saw it—a big, fake smile to chase off curious snoopers dying to find out something new to gossip about.

In altre parole, lentamente, mi hai reso infelice. Mi hai trasformato in una donna stanca della vita.

At the age of thirty, I was tired of life. Isn’t that just sad?

BS No. 3 – You lacked any form of support imaginable

Ora mi chiedo addirittura se tu fossi geloso di me? Forse pensavi che io ce l'avessi fatta nella vita e che tu fossi rimasto indietro.

But if that is true and it most definitely is not, how could have I achieved the things you wanted instead of you? I could only help you get there. I couldn’t do it for you.

E non hai mai avuto le palle di alzare il culo e fare davvero qualcosa nella tua vita.

Così, dopo che ce l'ho fatta, hai voluto prenderti il merito del mio lavoro. Volevi essere il motivo del mio successo.

The truth is I’m successful BECAUSE I had to do it all by myself.

I never could rely on you for anything—from the smallest details to bigger commitments. I guess what I want to say to you now is… thank you.

BS No.4 – Your jealousy was too much to handle

It became an obsession, really. It wasn’t cute anymore. Instead, it became horrific.

Over time, I felt like I needed to dedicate my life to you only, leaving no room for anyone else—friends or what’s even worse, family.

How could a person be jealous of the other’s mother and their perfectly healthy relationship?

Beh, sei riuscito a entrare in un'altra sfera di gelosia, a superare un altro livello e purtroppo ha distrutto la nostra possibilità di essere felici.

Hai perso il controllo e mi hai bandito dalla tua vita, per sempre.

BS No.5 – Poor you, you were always the victim

Davvero, dopo un po' diventa vecchio. Sapevo esattamente quali sarebbero state le tue scuse e quali battute avresti usato dopo un litigio.

Le conoscevo a memoria perché era sempre la stessa storia.

You were never guilty, it was always someone else’s fault and you just happened to be there to take the blame.

It’s impossible to believe that you’re such a saint while everyone around you is faulty in a way.

It’s even more impossible to believe that everyone else is stupid and wrong, only your opinion matters and only you are right.

C’mon… seriously?! That is a load of BS listed as No. 5 on my list which I’ve put up for such a long time but even that trace of love I had for you, the familiarity and warmth I used to feel around you couldn’t justify your behavior and your claims.

Tutto era semplicemente troppo.

BS No.6 – Your negativity drove me insane

It was impossible to ‘Always Look on the Bright Side of Life’, as sung in ‘Monty Python’, with you by my side.

It was always about negativity. All you could talk about were some insane conspiracy theories in which every scenario ended up the same—we were all going to die horrible deaths.

You know what?! I don’t give a shit! I’m going to die anyway.

Quindi, se Dio ha voluto che io morissi in una morte orribile, caotica, da fine del mondo, così sia!

I didn’t want to live my life in fear and regret something that might just happen but which you had no proof that it actually would.

La vostra negatività mi ha cambiato ogni giorno un po' di più.

Quella stronzata si è ancorata nella parte posteriore della mia mente; man mano che si stabiliva nel mio cervello, ho iniziato ad averne paura.

Ho iniziato a credere che tutte le cose che hai detto sarebbero accadute.

BS No. 7 – You destroyed my hope of better days

Intendo dire giorni migliori con te. Durante la parte centrale della nostra relazione, avevo ancora la speranza che i giorni migliori dovessero ancora arrivare.

Needless to say, I couldn’t have been more wrong. That hope slowly vanished as you showed absolutely no intention of changing.

Not just that you refused to change, you didn’t even notice that you had a problem. It was so much easier to blame me or anyone else.

Era molto più facile dire stronzate che essere un uomo, allacciarsi le cinture e mettere ordine nella propria vita.

There you go… This is what you got for what you served.