Ecco come l'uomo che avevo scartato si è rivelato il mio partner perfetto

A few years back, I was dating this man whom I initially really liked and had a surprisingly good feeling about… but for various reasons, I ended up breaking it off too soon.

Nella mia testa ho sempre avuto l'idea di come dovesse essere il mio uomo ideale, e anche se mi sentivo un po' come se fosse un uomo. connessione emotiva with him and had developed deep feelings towards him, I didn’t feel he checked every single box of my ‘’perfect’’ man, so I foolishly jumped the gun with him.

Ma con il tempo ho capito che non esiste una corrispondenza perfetta.

We all hype this up in our heads so much, and picture this fairytale relationship in which things just click on every level, and we both just know that this is ‘it’ while riding off into the sunset with nothing but happiness and bliss on our faces.

In reality, that’s not quite how it happens.

Nel mondo reale, le cose sono incasinate e nulla è privo di problemi. E questa consapevolezza mi ha aiutato a capire l'errore che avevo commesso con il mio ex di allora.

See, I’m a self-proclaimed introvert, and my ideal day consists of spending the day on my couch, watching Real Housewives, eating all the potato chips I can get my hands on, and having my girls over for a girly, catch-up session.

When I’m in a relationship, I really like to stay in, watch a movie, and end the night snuggling on my sofa in the arms of l'uomo che amo. Sure, I’m okay with an occasional night out, but I’m not a big fan of staying out late, so I often clashed with my boyfriend in this department.

He’s really big on hanging out with friends, going out every weekend, and staying out quite late. There’s really nothing wrong with that… it’s just that I’m his polar opposite, so my unwillingness to meet him hallway contributed to our eventual break-up.

In addition to that, he was never the ‘’cheesy’’ type, one who would tell me ‘’Ti amo’’ a lot, while embracing me with his loving hands, making me feel all loved up and safe.. and I quietly resented that.

I’m a real cheeseball, what can I say… I love to be told that I’m loved, and I really enjoy cuddling and engaging in romantic, late-night pillow-talk.

Il mio ragazzo non è mai stato il tipo da farlo, e anche se sapevo che mi amava e che mi trattava come se fossi una persona che non si fa mai mancare nulla. un vero uomo should, I couldn’t bear being with someone so different to what I expected.

Ero così persa nella mia testa, con i miei ideali romantici ma sciocchi e i miei gesti romantici inverosimili, che ho finito per rovinare una cosa perfettamente buona per me stessa.

Era tutto ciò che un vero uomo dovrebbe essere. Mi trattava come una persona alla pari e non come una principessa bisognosa di un cavaliere bianco. Sapeva che avevo le mie aspirazioni nella vita e mi rispettava e ammirava per questo, coprendomi sempre le spalle ed essendo la mia cheerleader.

I always felt his support and love. Sure, he wasn’t the most vocal person when it came to expressing it with words, but honestly, if the guy shows up every time you need him and never leaves you hanging, what is there to doubt?

In addition to that, he would always be straight with me. He never felt the need to lie to me, thinking I couldn’t handle it. If I asked him if my ass looked too big in my new jeans, he would straight up dish it to me.

If I did something wrong without necessarily being aware of it, he would call me on it. And honestly, I love that. If he felt he could be completely honest and transparent with me, knowing I’d never love him less for it, he was the real deal, right?

That’s what we all aspire to! A guy with balls, who loves us with his whole heart, but who isn’t afraid of being his true self and saying it how it is. And at the time, this was completely lost on me.

I’d get offended when he was too honest. I’d resent him not telling me he loved me all the time, even though he showed it every single day with his actions.

I hated his need to always go out, spend so much time with friends, and try to get me to join in. I just felt we weren’t right for each other, and I ended it, even though it killed me.

After the break-up… I started dating again. Not one guy could match up to my expectations. Not one guy was the perfect thing that I believed I could find. And what was the most surprising thing to me, not one guy was lui.

During that little break, I had a lot of time to think. To think about what it is that we as women really want in a man, and how far we’re willing to go and miss out on in order to have all of our needs met.

Ho capito che nel mio ex c'era tutto quello di cui avevo bisogno in un uomo. Finalmente capii quanto sarebbe stato folle perdere questa fantastica relazione a causa dei miei modi arroganti e della mia riluttanza a fare le cose più semplici.

And that’s when my life started to change for the better.

Dopo averci pensato attentamente, alla fine l'ho contattato e gli ho chiesto se volesse ancora darci una possibilità. Gli ho spiegato quanto fosse sciocco da parte mia aspettarmi che cambiasse quando era già un uomo e un partner piuttosto straordinario.

I was really emotional and hopeful that he would see the potential in us, and luckily… he did. He beamed with happiness to hear those words from me as he had never stopped loving me. I cried… and hugged him so tightly.

When you feel it in your bones that the man beside you is the man you’re supposed to be with, it’s not that hard meeting him halfway. After all, compromise is the key to any long-lasting relationship.

Nobody is perfect, and you will never find somebody who will check all of your boxes and fit your profile. That’s not life; that’s fantasy.

Real life is finding a guy who is imperfectly perfect, but loving the shit out of him anyway. You can’t change a man, but you CAN change your presumptions, and boy am I glad I changed mine.