Ecco perché non fa più finta di stare bene

Sapete cosa vuol dire essere costantemente quello che tira la parte più corta del bastone nella vita?

Sapete com'è essere sempre colui che ama di più, to be the one who gives more and to be the one who’s always there for people but never to have anyone to hold you when you’re breaking? Well, this girl does.

This girl has been through so much in life. If you lived a heartbreak, she had three of those. If you cried yourself to sleep once, she’s done it a thousand times before.

If you felt lonely and how you have no one in your life to guard your back, she’s been feeling like this a lot lately.

Yet, she never let anyone know how much she’s hurting. She never did that.

When someone remembered to ask how she was doing, despite the pain she felt, she’d always smile and offer the one, the solo acceptable answer—fine.

From the time we are little, we’re taught that we need to be polite and how the only appropriate answer to question about how you are is, “I am fine.”

Ebbene, al diavolo l'educazione e l'appropriatezza, ma soprattutto al diavolo il bene! Nessuno dovrebbe sentirsi obbligato a mentire sui propri sentimenti o a sentirsi in dovere di imbottigliarli.

She’s a sensitive human being. I don’t know what others thought about how much pain she can take, but she was brought to the breaking point.

Actions of others broke her sensitive heart and everything everything that was bottled inside—it all started pouring out. The avalanche was started.

You know, when you’ve been shaking off the tears in your eyes for a long time, when you’ve been constantly on the edge of falling into the abyss but pulling yourself back, when you were one second away from screaming from the top of your lungs but you felt you had no other choice besides smiling, then it doesn’t take much to launch the avalanche and to show how you feel, how you’ve actually been feeling for a while.

Bene non è mai una risposta appropriata. Neanche lei si sente bene.

Non è a questo che vuole rispondere quando altri chiedere come si sente. She is not fine and she’s done pretending that she is.

How about we start being honest with each other? How about we start asking people how they’ve been and actually be interested in hearing a genuine answer?

Che ne dite di iniziare a vedere quelli che non stanno bene e di chiamarli in causa? E se prendessimo quelli che iniziano a rompere?

Can we start being more human again and start being less robotic, please? That’s exactly what she needs.

She is tired of pretending she’s fine. She’s tired of smiling when her heart is breaking.

She is exhausted from listening to other people’s problems, being there for them and then going back home to a cold bed with having no one who’d want to hear her problems or hold her while she cries.

She stopped convincing herself how she’s fine, too. She stopped telling herself how everything is okay and how she is not broken.

How her heart is not aching. How she is happy. How it’s all okay and how it will disappear when she wakes up.

She stopped pretending she’s whole when she’s not.

Non vuole più mentire. Non vuole più sembrare che stia bene, ma che dentro di sé cada a pezzi. Vuole urlare e vuole piangere.

Vuole crollare. Vuole sfogarsi.

You know why? Because she’s been holding it in for too long.

She didn’t want to burden other people with her troubles. She didn’t want to bore others or make them worry about her. She didn’t want them to be hurting because of her.

That’s how selfless she is. But the time has come for her to take care of herself.

The time has come to pause everything else and make sure she is really okay. That’s why she no longer pretends she’s fine.

Vuole stare bene e vuole essere di nuovo felice.

And admitting to yourself you’re not is the first step towards healing. She is not fine now, but she will be again one day.