4 modi in cui un narcisista invalida le sue vittime

Ogni persona è unica e ha le proprie qualità e i propri difetti. Tuttavia, tutti coloro che soffrono di disturbo narcisistico di personalità hanno alcuni elementi in comune.

Each narcissist has one primary goal: To humiliate and put down his victim. After all, it’s the only way they can feel better about themselves.

Invalidating his victims pumps a narcissist’s ego. It gives him control and incredible satisfaction.

Questo è esattamente il modo in cui lo fanno:

Autoironico

Tutti i narcisisti si auto-illudono, senza eccezioni. O almeno, questo è il modo in cui vogliono essere visti dagli altri, soprattutto da coloro che vogliono invalidare.

Esagerano quando si tratta dei loro risultati. Tutto ciò che ottengono è grande e importante.

When a narcissist talks about himself, he’ll always use superlative only. He’ll present himself as flawless and almost perfect.

At first, you’ll probably admire this man’s high level of self-confidence. You’ll be knocked off your feet by the faith he has in himself.

Tuttavia, questa è solo una maschera. Infatti, sta facendo tutto questo solo per dimostrare a entrambi che è migliore di voi.

Senza che ve ne rendiate conto, quest'uomo è in realtà in competizione con voi. Sta paragonando i vostri successi e vi sta dicendo sottilmente che è superiore a voi in tutti i campi della vita. In altre parole, he’s trying to destroy your self-esteem. 

When he does this, he doesn’t have to tell you directly that you’re non abbastanza buono. Invece, il suo vantarsi ti mette indirettamente in difficoltà.

Illuminazione a gas

I’m sure you’ve heard about the term, “gaslighting”. It’s a common tactic almost all narcissists use in an attempt to brainwash their victims.

In pratica, gaslighting isn’t typical lying. Instead, it’s more about twisting the truth. 

For example, after your fight with a narcissist is over, he’ll do his best to convince you that things didn’t go the way you remember them.

Even though you know very well what you said or heard, he’ll work at changing your memory and making you believe what he wants you to believe.

If you have never experienced something like this, you’ll probably think it’s utterly impossible. However, trust me, this works more often than you might think.

This way, your abuser places a tiny voice at the back of your mind. A voice that keeps on telling you that you’re the crazy one.

Obviously, you can’t be trusted; you misinterpret things and your brain is playing with you.

Questo è esattamente ciò che il manipolatore vuole farvi credere. Vuole che vi fidiate di lui più di quanto vi fidiate di voi stessi.

Consequently, you’ll start thinking poorly about yourself. You’ll have doubts about your judgment making skills and you’ll fall into this trap.

Corruzione emotiva

When someone does nice things for you, you assume that they do it because they’re kind, or you see it as proof of their love for you.

However, in the case of a narcissistic person, things are never what they seem. In fact, whenever a narcissist treats you well, it’s all a part of his emotional bribery.

È la persona che vi farà sperimentare sia le cose peggiori che quelle migliori del mondo. La persona che abuso emotivo e poi ti compra un regalo costoso.

The person who will make you feel like you’re good for nothing and then surprise you with something you’ve always wanted.

No, this doesn’t mean that he loves you. It’s just this man’s way of playing tricks on you.

Vuole tenervi al suo fianco, nonostante il pessimo trattamento che ricevete da lui. Non solo: Vuole anche che vi sentiate in colpa per aver dubitato delle sue intenzioni e delle sue emozioni.

Inoltre, when a narcissistic person is emotionally bribing you, they want to make themselves needed. They’re making you emotionally dependent on them.

Also, they’re invalidating everything you’ve ever done for them. Every time a narcissist buys you a fancy present or does something nice for you, he wants you to see that he is better than you.

Ti tratta meglio di quanto tu abbia mai trattato lui. È il tipo di partner che non potrete mai diventare.

Smentire i propri sentimenti

“You’re too weak. You’re overly emotional. You’re exaggerating. You’re a real drama queen. You get insulted easily.”

Se siete mai stati coinvolti in un manipolatore narcisista, I’m sure that you’ve heard each one of these sentences. Basically, the problem is no longer his treatment of you – it’s your reaction to it.

Invece di vedere il suo errore e fare tutto il possibile per correggerlo, il narcisista smentisce i vostri sentimenti. Rovescia la situazione e mette l'accento sulla vostra reazione al suo comportamento dannoso.

Instead of apologizing, he tells you to toughen up. Instead of admitting that he is the one who is wrong, he convinces you that you’re the problem!

Comodo, vero?

Whatever happens and whatever tactic a narcissist tries to use on you – don’t ever forget that you’re worthy. Your feelings, thoughts, and memories have value and they’re real, no matter what he says.

I know it’s tough, but you have to learn how to recognize these techniques so you can turn on your defense mechanisms in time and run for your life.