15 cose che non dovreste mai fare per un uomo, a prescindere da quanto siate pazze di lui

I once had a friend I literally couldn’t recognize after one year. If she passed by me on the street, I wouldn’t realize it was her unless someone told me. And we’ve been friends for years!

It’s not only her appearance that suddenly changed, but also her behavior, opinions, and values she considered really important. We would talk to each other and I would think to myself, who is this person?!

And no, she didn’t go through some major change in her life or decide she wanted to be a completely different person. She just had a crazy boyfriend. Yes, you heard that right.

L'amore ci fa fare cose strane. Mi sono appena resa conto che anch'io mi sono persa completamente in una relazione quando ero innamoratissima.

Ora, quando mi guardo indietro, Mi rammarico di molti things I’ve done for him, but I’m not afraid to admit it. Figured I’d share my mistakes so at least you can learn from them.

Quindi ascoltatemi attentamente! Non dovreste mai, e dico MAI:

1. Cambiare il proprio aspetto

He thinks you should lose some weight or gain a couple of pounds? If you’re happy with yourself the way you are, then don’t change for him! Queste sono le cose che dovreste fare solo per voi stessi in modo che possiate sentirvi bene.

Lo stesso vale per tutto il resto, dalla testa alle dita dei piedi. Gli piacciono i capelli lunghi e biondi? Allora portatelo dal parrucchiere e potrà farsi fare l'acconciatura che vuole, su se stesso!

2. Abbandonare gli amici

A real man knows you need to have lives outside of your relationship. Being together 24/7 is not good for anyone! If you leave all your friends, then who’ll listen to your dramma del fidanzato/marito e ti darà sessioni di terapia gratuite? 

Probabilmente conoscete le vostre ragazze da più tempo di lui. Gli amici sono una parte inevitabile della nostra vita. They always support us and they’ve been there for us through our every relationship and heartbreak. Don’t leave them for a man you’re not even sure is the one.

3. Sacrificare il proprio benessere

When you’re feeling good and healthy, you immediately have more energy to put into other things, like your relationship.

Il vostro benessere deve essere sempre la vostra priorità numero uno e vengono prima di tutto e di tutti. Se si perde la sanità mentale o addirittura la salute fisica, non conta nient'altro.

You shouldn’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him. Your man needs to make your life easier, and always aim to make you feel happy, safe, and satisfied.

4. Accontentarsi di meno di quanto si merita

I think we’ve all been there – settling for some fast food place when in reality we wanted to dine in some fancy restaurant. Well, don’t do this when it comes to your partners!

Has he ever told you you’re too much to handle? If yes, the only right thing to do is lasciargli trovare qualcuno al suo livello. E tu, tesoro, dovresti puntare alle stelle.

Sometimes we desperately want to be loved, so much we’re ready to give up on our standards just so we’re not alone on a Friday night. But you and I both know this isn’t the right thing to do.

5. Scambiate la vostra libertà 

Se foste un uccello, scambiereste mai la vostra libertà per una piccola gabbia? Certo che no! Allora perché lo fareste per un uomo?

Love shouldn’t feel like a federal prison. Un vero uomo non ti impedirà mai di vivere la tua vitaesplorare le proprie passioni o fare quello che si vuole.

The first time he tries to stop you from going out with your friends or wearing that dress you love…girl, just leave and don’t look back.

6. Consentire un comportamento violento e irrispettoso.

Immaginate che una vostra amica venga da voi piangendo, dicendo che il suo ragazzo ha alzato le mani su di lei o anche solo la voce. So che le direste di fare le valigie e di andarsene! 

I don’t think we even need to explain this, but you should non giustificare mai questo comportamento, qualunque cosa accada! Questo è un altro motivo per avere amici che si possono chiamare nel cuore della notte, se necessario.

Se vi trovate in questa situazione, scappate per salvarvi. Questa è l'unica decisione giusta.

7. Dimenticare chi siete

I’m definitely guilty of this. I remember myself being full of life with an adventurous spirit and ambitions through the roof before I met him. I loved him madly and he was scared of my potential, so I made myself smaller to fit into his mold.

God, I was so stupid. And the worst thing? It’s absolutely never worth the guy you’re doing this for. Siate sempre autentici e fedeli a voi stessi!

When you lose the things that make you who you are, it’s so easy to lose everything else without realizing it.

8. Lasciare i propri hobby

Have you always loved to silence the world while you’re painting or get your frustrations out by going to the gym? Well, what changed?

I nostri hobby e le nostre passioni sono ciò che ci fa andare avanti and bring happiness to our lives. We can’t throw everything away just because we are also committing our time to someone else.

The fact you’re in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you have to become the same person. If he loves lazy Sundays and watching football, but you prefer to go out in nature, fai tu, ragazza! 

9. Rinunciare ai propri obiettivi

Ricordate i vostri sogni prima di incontrarlo? Volevate laurearvi, viaggiare per il mondo e avviare un'attività in proprio. Indovinate un po'? Potete ancora fare tutto ciò che avete sempre sognato!

You don’t have a child you have to dedicate 100% of your time, damn it. Although men sometimes do act like kids. But that’s a story for another time. 

Un vero uomo vi incoraggerà a perseguire le vostre passioni. and he’ll be happy to support all your goals even if that’s not something he would do. But your life is your life only. Do what makes you happy!

10. Silenziare la voce

Don’t hold back your opinions just because he might not agree with you. A healthy relationship means you can agree to disagree and still love each other. 

Le vostre opinioni sono importanti e i vostri sentimenti sono validi. Non permettete mai a nessuno di dirvi qualcosa di diverso. E se lo fanno, beh, sapete cosa fare.

Love can be a beautiful thing when you’re with the right person who loves you exactly as you are.

Quella cosa che gli dà fastidio e che vuole che tu cambi, qualcuno la cerca in ogni persona che incontra. Ci sono 8 miliardi di persone al mondo, credetemi, you’ll find someone who will appreciate every part of you.

11. Apologize for things that aren’t your fault

Look, we’ve all been there—saying “sorry” just to keep the peace. But if you start apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, it’s a slippery slope. Before you know it, you’re apologizing for having emotions, for needing support, for existing.

A man who truly loves you won’t make you feel guilty for expressing your feelings or having boundaries.

I vostri sentimenti sono validi quanto i suoi e una relazione dovrebbe essere una strada a doppio senso, non un senso di colpa.

12. Trovare scuse per il suo cattivo comportamento

Oh, he’s just stressed. He had a tough childhood. He’s going through a lot right now. Sound familiar? I used to be the regina della giustificazione del cattivo comportamento, but at the end of the day, we’re all responsible for our own actions.

If he treats you poorly, that’s on him—not on his past, not on his job, not on you. The moment you find yourself constantly making excuses for him, take a step back and ask yourself: Would he do the same for you? Or would he just call you “too emotional”?

13. Cambiare le proprie convinzioni per adattarle alle sue

One minute, you’re standing firm in what you believe in. The next, you’re nodding along to his opinions even though they make your stomach turn. No, ragazza. No e basta.

It’s okay to have different opinions, but it’s not okay to erase yours just to avoid conflict. If you have to reshape your entire belief system to keep him around, then he’s not with voi—he’s with a version of you that he created. And that’s not love.

14. Lasciategli controllare il vostro denaro

This one’s tricky because relationships often involve shared expenses. But if he’s deciding what you should spend, how much you can save, or questioning every little purchase, that’s a red flag the size of a football field.

Your financial independence matters. Even if you’re in a relationship, you should always have control over your own money. You work hard for it, and no one gets to dictate how you use it.

15. Perdere la propria indipendenza

Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you stop being an individual. YAvevate una vita prima di lui e dovreste avere ancora una vita con lui.

If he gets upset when you do things on your own—whether that’s taking a solo trip, making a big decision, or even just going out without him—he’s not looking for a partner, he’s looking for control. A man who truly loves you will celebrate your independence, not try to take it away.