Guida su come far sì che lui scelga voi invece di un'altra donna

When you’ve reached the point where you’re wondering how to make him choose you over the other woman , your love life is a real mess.

You know that you shouldn’t be competing with someone else for your man’s attention, but you just can’t help it. 

Tutto quello che volete è che l'uomo che amate si lasci con questa ragazza, in modo da poter diventare l'unica donna della sua vita. Tuttavia, è evidente che lui ha un problema a scegliere tra una donna e un'altra. 

Well, even though competing with some other girl is not something you should be doing, we’re not here to judge. Instead, we’re here to your rescue. 

Here is exactly what you should do to make him pick you over all other girls in his life. Read on and you’ll find out how to make him choose you over the other woman in no time. 

1. Essere coinvolgenti ma non bisognosi

La maggior parte delle donne commette sempre lo stesso errore quando si tratta di appuntamenti, indipendentemente dalla concorrenza.

Alcune ragazze diventano troppo appiccicoso quando trovano un ragazzo che gli piace.

Pensano che mostrare al proprio uomo molte attenzioni gli farà capire quanto sono innamorate di lui e, di conseguenza, gli farà scegliere loro rispetto a tutte le altre.

Secondo questa logica, ogni persona dotata di un po' di buon senso starebbe con chi si prende cura di lei e la ama. 

D'altra parte, alcune ragazze fanno troppo le difficili. 

They think that this way, a guy of their interest will be intrigued by them and they will play with his ego to the point where he’ll make it his mission to make them his. 

According to this logic, once this guy realizes that they’re actually in love with him, he’ll be head over heels for them.

Looking from two different perspectives, each one of these approaches is perfectly reasonable. Theoretically, they both make sense, despite the fact that they’re completely opposite.

However, somehow, in practice, neither of them works. Well, that’s why I’m here to reveal a trick that is actually efficient in real life.

Il segreto sta nel trovare l'equilibrio perfetto. In pratica, dovete trovare un compromesso tra l'essere coinvolgenti ma non troppo bisognosi. 

The moment a guy sees that you’re madly in love with him, he’ll start taking you for granted. In your situation, he’ll probably end up going to the other girl who is not giving him enough attention. 

D'altra parte, se si gioca troppo difficile da ottenere , it’s likely that he’ll get tired of constantly chasing you around. In your situation, he’ll go to the other girl who is giving him love and comfort. 

Pertanto, ciò che dovete fare è mostrare un certo interesse per quest'uomo. Mettete in chiaro che volete che sia vostro e che le vostre intenzioni non sono quelle di essere sue amiche.

However, don’t be on his back all the time. Give him space and show him that you’re a tolerant woman with a life of her own.

Dimostrategli che scegliere voi significherebbe avere una donna che si preoccupa profondamente per lui, ma che allo stesso tempo non cercherebbe mai di limitare la sua libertà.

Sounds like the perfect blend, right? Well, that’s exactly what every man thinks and what will far sì che ti insegua. 

2. Stuzzicarlo e flirtare con lui

A volte i fatti parlano più delle parole. Lo stesso vale per le relazioni sentimentali, soprattutto nelle fasi iniziali. 

What I’m trying to say is that you should allow your body language to speak on your behalf before you verbally make your emotions or intentions clear. Play a game of cat and mouse.

Per cominciare, usate il contatto visivo per flirtare con quest'uomo. Guardatelo profondamente e in modo seducente negli occhi. 

Then whenever he looks back at you, bite your lip and look away. This way, you’ll intrigue him and he won’t be certain about what you want from him, which will far sì che ti insegua ancora di più. 

Si sta immaginando le cose? Lo vedi davvero come qualcosa di più di un amico o è tutto nella sua testa?

I dilemmi che gli passano per la testa sono utili per voi. Dopotutto, volete che lui pensi a voi, perché questo è un modo sicuro per farlo innamorare di voi. 

Also, don’t forget to engage in physical contact with him. 

Now I’m not saying that you should be all over this guy. So, don’t kiss him all of a sudden. In fact, your job is to inspire him towards taking the first step. 

Instead, be as near to him as possible whenever you’re around. Talk to him quietly in the ear, touch his hand when you’re talking, and keep him in your arms for a bit longer every time you greet. 

At first glance, this doesn’t have to mean a lot. However, trust me when I tell you that men are big fans of physical affection. 

No, I’m not talking about sleeping together here only. I’m talking about other forms of intimacy as well.

Volete che questo ragazzo si senta più sicuro accanto a voi rispetto alle altre donne del gioco. Volete che veda il vostro abbraccio più caloroso, le vostre battute più divertenti e il vostro sorriso più ampio. 

Well, every time you flirt with him, you’re impacting his subconsciousness. This way, when he remembers you, he’ll remember the butterflies he felt when you were looking at him.

3. Don’t obsess over the other woman…

When you’re trying to figure out how to make him choose you over the other woman , involuntarily this other woman becomes your obsession. 

After all, you can’t help but see her as your arch enemy and obstacle to happiness. So, you can’t stop thinking about her.

Ebbene, ciò che non dovreste mai fare è permettere al vostro uomo di notarlo.

I know you have the desire to talk trash about her, but trust me, it’s better to ignore her existence than to make her even more important than she already is.

Vedete, l'errore numero uno che le ragazze commettono in queste situazioni è quello di assillare il loro uomo per l'altra ragazza. 

This way, even when she is not present in his thoughts, you’re putting her there, by constantly bringing her name up. 

Consequently, you’re causing a counterproductive effect. After all, you want your guy to forget about her, don’t you?

How exactly do you plan to achieve that if you’re the one who keeps talking about her? Instead of achieving your final goal, you’re actually making her the third wheel in your relationship.

Besides, showing that you’re obsessed with this other woman will make this guy think that you’re insecure . 

You’ll show your jealousy and only succeed in boosting his ego and assuring him that he’s this big stud. 

4. …but investigate her

Nevertheless, just because you won’t mention this other girl to your man, it doesn’t mean that you should really ignore her existence.

In questa situazione, è una persona che dovete battere, il che significa che tutte le informazioni che potete avere su di lei sono preziose.

You can’t defeat your enemy when you don’t know what you’re battling against. That is exactly why it’s a good idea to investigate your opponent before making any moves. 

First and foremost, visit her social media profiles. This is where you’ll learn a lot about her personality, lifestyle, and appearance. 

Inoltre, provate a chiedere in giro informazioni su di lei. So che sembra ingiusto, ma scavare un po' nel marcio di questa donna sarebbe una fortuna. 

However, whatever you do, please be careful. You don’t want her to find out that you are investigating her because that would just boost her ego and make you look like a lunatic stalker.

Ricordate: il vostro obiettivo è essere migliori di lei in tutti i modi possibili. 

This is where you’ll need to be realistic. Try to disregard your jealousy and see this woman for who she is.

Ci sono due possibilità. In un caso, potresti vederla molto peggio di te. Questo non è altro che un meccanismo di difesa. 

Even though this approach will boost your ego, it’s not such a good thing since you’ll underestimate your enemy, which can be the cause of your final downfall.

In the other case, your insecurities might explode. You might see this girl as much better than you – more beautiful, smart, educated, interesting…

Se ciò accade, la vostra autostima sarà rovinata.

You won’t be able to show to your man how alta qualità di una donna e anche voi stessi penserete che lei lo merita più di voi che non siete abbastanza bravi.

Well, this is another situation where balance is required. That is why it’s important to be realistic about her since it’s the only way to see both her good and bad sides. 

5. …and bring up her flaws

Once you learn more about this girl’s weak spots and negative sides, it’s time to use them against her. However, you’ll have to be sneaky with this one as well.

At first, you might think that this is unfair. Nevertheless, don’t forget that this is a type of war – all is fair in love and war. 

Let’s put things this way: For example, you know that your guy can’t stand the fact that this other woman is nagging him about going out with his friends. 

The first impulse you have is to directly criticize her behavior. You want to tell him that she’s not right and you’d never treat him that way.

Wrong! If you do this, he’ll assume that this is just the jealousy talking.

He won’t believe in your honesty but think that you’re just trying to make her look bad. Which is exactly what you’re doing. However, he shouldn’t know that.

So instead of this direct approach, let’s try something else. You were advised against mentioning this girl and this is exactly what you’ll continue to do. 

In questo esempio concreto, siate pazienti e aspettate che venga fuori l'argomento della gelosia o del comportamento possessivo.

Or if that doesn’t happen, casually mention a situation your friend is in – of course, a situation you’ll make up. 

Either way, the point is that you’ll point out how you can’t understand women who are control freaks in their romantic relationships.

You’ll tell him how you enjoy your freedom and how you like it when your partner has friends.

I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. The bottom line is that you act completely clueless to the way the other woman behaves. 

However, you’re subtly painting a difference between the two of you. All of a sudden, you present yourself as his dream girl who has none of the flaws that annoy him most. 

6. Give him what she can’t

Now that you’re armed with information, this is the moment where you should use them to your own advantage. 

The bottom line is that you’re competing with this woman and the only way to defeat her is to give your man everything she can’t. 

Ad esempio, se sapete che gli mancano le attenzioni, è proprio questo che dovrebbe ricevere da voi. 

Molte donne commettono l'errore di cercare di copiare l'altra donna . Don’t live your own life as her clone. Instead, do the opposite of whatever she’s doing. 

Soprattutto, ascoltate il vostro uomo. Dimostrategli che tutto ciò che ha da dire è importante e che prestate attenzione alle sue esigenze. 

Fill the voids this girl has left. Trust me: This way, he’ll feel complete next to you and realize you’re just the girl he needs. 

7. Non affrontarla mai

When you’re wondering how to make him choose you over the other woman , you know you have to remove her from the equation, for the sake of happiness in your own life . 

After all, your triangle toxic relationship can’t carry on like this forever, can’t it? You want a relazione impegnata con quest'uomo, il che significa che c'è posto solo per voi due in questa storia.  

No, this doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means that you’re putting yourself first and this is exactly what you should be doing. 

Quindi, il primo impulso che avete è quello di affrontarla. Vedete questa ragazza come un nemico. Potreste addirittura iniziare a odiarla. 

Avete il desiderio di combatterla e di dirle di lasciare in pace il vostro uomo. Volete buttarla fuori dalla sua vita, in un modo o nell'altro, per permettere a voi due di essere felici. 

Well, let me tell you that this is one of the worst mistakes you could ever think of making. By doing this, you’ll make her feel more relevant than she really is.

Also, you’ll show both of them that you feel threatened by her. You’ll give her power by showing her your insecurities.

Besides, your man will see you as rude and impolite, thinking you have no manners and that you’re ready to ruin your dignity just to have him.

Naturally, he won’t appreciate you afterward, even if he happens to choose you over her .

Quindi, per favore, continuate a ignorarla. Anzi, sarebbe bello se riusciste a fare qualcosa di sottile per provocare una sua reazione. 

This way, you’ll appear as the victim. You’ll be in a position to ask protection from your guy while she’ll look like a true villain who is trying to destroy your true love and romance. 

In fin dei conti, sarebbe bello se riusciste a far rinunciare questa ragazza al vostro uomo.

Per esempio, potete fare in modo che lei pensi che lui voglia avere una relazione a lungo termine con voi e che lei non sia altro che un terzo incomodo nella vostra storia d'amore perfetta. 

Tuttavia, anche se decidete di fare una cosa del genere, dovete essere il più discreti possibile. 

Mandatele suggerimenti indiretti attraverso i vostri profili sui social media o con l'aiuto dei vostri amici o conoscenti comuni.

Don’t do anything directly and, whatever you do, don’t reach out to her, even if your life depended on it. 

8. Show him that you’re a unique donna di alto valore

If you want a guy to see you as committed relationship material, you have to make him understand that you’re one of a kind.

You have to make him realize that you’re special, unique, and high-value .

That you’re nowhere else to be found and that he’ll spend the rest of his life searching for you in other women if he makes the mistake of losing you or letting you go. 

So, don’t investigate the other woman you’re competing against now. Instead, widen your search to all other girls in his life. 

Cercate di scoprire il più possibile sulle sue ex ragazze (o sulla sua ex moglie, se ne ha una).

You don’t have to necessarily show him that you’re better than them – it will be enough to convince him that you’re different. 

Questo dovrebbe incuriosirlo abbastanza da dargli almeno una possibilità. Sarà curioso di vedere cosa avete da offrire. 

Quindi, per favore, fate del vostro meglio per non confondervi con la massa. Dimostrategli che vi distinguete, in un modo o nell'altro. 

Of course, in order to do this in a successful manner, you have to get to the bottom of your man’s personality. You see, not all men are fascinated by the same things. 

Tuttavia, ognuno di loro ama l'unicità ed è proprio questo che dovete offrire se volete che vi scelga come unica donna per lui. 

9. Creare un legame con lui

Regardless of whether you two are in a short term or long term relationship (or if you’re in a relationship at all), please do your best to make a deep connection with this man. 

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is to become friends with him without entering the friend zone. At the end of the day , this is what every man needs : a girlfriend who is also his friend. 

Sembra difficile, lo so. Tuttavia, è possibile farlo se si giocano bene le proprie carte.

When I say that you should be his friend, I’m not telling you to become one of his pals like his male friends. 

Don’t comment on other girls with him, don’t spend all of your time together watching football games and drinking beer, and definitely don’t act like a dude in front of him.

Instead, show him that you’re someone he can count on – that you’re the only person in this world who truly gets him.

Siate la ragazza che legge la sua mente. La ragazza che presta attenzione alle piccole e semplici cose della sua vita e che ascolta veramente ciò che ha da dire. 

The girl who knows what he’s thinking just by looking at him. The girl who remembers everything he’s ever told her and appreciates him. 

Dimostrategli che l'intimità va ben oltre l'attività in camera da letto. Mostrategli la bellezza di tenersi per mano e abbracci. 

Soprattutto, dimostrategli il valore di avervi accanto, a prescindere da tutto.

Convince this guy that you’re his soulmate. Make him believe that you’ve both spent your entire lives until this moment searching for each other. 

Show him that you’re his other half and that he needs your presence like the air he breathes. 

10. Occupare il suo tempo

When you want a girl out of your man’s life, for starters you can’t allow her to be physically present next to them. You know how they say: Out of sight, out of mind. 

Trust me, he’ll start to forget all about her the moment he spends less and less time with her. This is especially true if you’re around so he is not alone with his thoughts and has no time to think about her. 

I won’t lie to you. This is a difficult step when we’re talking about a coworker or someone he is friends with . 

Either way, what you should do is occupy your guy’s time as much as possible. Make sure he spends all of his free hours and days with you so he doesn’t get the chance to reach out to this other girl.

Nevertheless, this is where you have to play it smart. You can’t be too pushy because that will just chase him away.

La migliore opzione possibile è costringerlo a chiamarvi. Trovate un modo per manipolarlo in modo che sia lui a contattarvi per primo. 

If that doesn’t work out, make excuses to be near him. Instead of directly calling him out on a primo appuntamento , chiedere il suo aiuto.

Call him to ask him to give you advice about some made up emergency you have. Tell him that you’re in the middle of nowhere and ask him to come because you have a flat tire.

Sarebbe bello se sapeste quando passa il tempo con lei. Utilizzate questa informazione e chiamatelo a quell'ora specifica.

Sooner or later, she’ll get tired of your presence and will leave him, even if he doesn’t fall for your bait. 

11. Comportarsi come una sfida

Men love challenges. There’s no doubt about that. Men love to feel like they’ve won you over due to their incredible courting skills. 

Well, this is how you should behave – like a challenge – because this is exactly what every guy needs in his life. No, this doesn’t only mean playing hot-and-cold games.

It means stepping back from him a bit the moment he thinks he’s sealed the deal. It means not being too available and never allowing this man to think that you’re not going anywhere, no matter what he does.

Basically, he can never be certain about you. Because if he is, he’ll assume that you won’t leave him and invest all of his energy into chasing this other girl. 

12. Mostrare il proprio lato femminile

Un'altra cosa di cui ogni uomo ha bisogno è sentirsi un grande macho. Ogni bisogni dell'uomo alfa la sua donna a vederlo come salvatore e protettore.

You want to know how to make him choose you over another girl ? Show him your feminine side. Make him think that you’re vulnerable and that you need him to guide you through life. 

Of course, this is nowhere near the truth. However, trust me when I tell you he will be enchanted by the fact that you’re fascinated by him.

You see, men have a very fragile ego. Knowing this, you understand why it’s crucial to pump their ego and self-esteem in order for them to feel good about themselves. 

Dopo tutto, sapete come funzionano tutte le favole. C'è la principessa in difficoltà e poi il Principe Azzurro che la soccorre. 

Ebbene, questa è l'illusione che dovete creare se volete che questo ragazzo scelga voi piuttosto che lei per una relazione seria. Se necessario, usate qualche bugia bianca per farlo sentire meglio con se stesso. 

Tell him that he’s the best man you’ve ever had. Convince him that you’d be lost without his help. 

Qualunque cosa facciate, non mettete in pericolo la sua mascolinità a nessun costo. 

13. Essere positivi

If you want a healthy relationship , you have to build it in a positive environment. Therefore, it’s about time to put a smile on your face and embrace optimism as your lifestyle.

I know that we all have moments when we’re negative or nervous. However, while you’re in the process of winning this man over, don’t let him see this side of you.

Siate invece la luce per le sue tenebre. Portate con voi la positività ovunque andiate e siate colui che ha la capacità di portare la gioia nella sua giornata peggiore.

Fidatevi di me. A nessun uomo piace quando vi lamentate. Infatti, ogni volta che entrate in questa modalità, lui smette di ascoltare qualsiasi cosa abbiate da dire e si chiude completamente in se stesso.

So, even if you want to call this guy on his actions, try to do so in a peaceful way. Don’t be the one picking fights all the time or be a drama queen.

Ridete invece alle sue battute e cercate di farlo ridere. Quando si trova in una situazione di stress, siate voi a dirgli che andrà tutto bene.

This way, your guy will connect the feeling of happiness with you. He’ll see you as the silver lining to his cloud. And who wouldn’t want that?

14. Apparire al meglio

Che vi piaccia o meno ammetterlo, la prima impressione che i ragazzi hanno di voi si basa soprattutto sul vostro aspetto.

No, this doesn’t make them shallow. It’s just how things are: Every guy wants an attractive girlfriend.

Dopo tutto, bisogna considerare un uomo fisicamente attraente e bello prima ancora di dargli una possibilità. Allora non ci dovrebbero essere rancori quando i ragazzi si comportano allo stesso modo.

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to conquistare quest'uomo with your amazing personality and show him that you’re a high-value woman.

Per il momento, però, fate del vostro meglio per fargli perdere la testa con il vostro aspetto da bomba. 

Basically, what you have to do is try hard to look your best whenever you know you’ll see the object of your interest. Dress your best, always have makeup on, and don’t forget to smell great.

Nevertheless, there is a hidden trick in all of this. The point is that he shouldn’t notice the effort you’re putting into your appearance. 

Yes, you’ll be in full makeup. However, it should all look natural.

Quindi, invece di indossare un rossetto rosso in tutte le occasioni, scegliete un lucidalabbra. Invece di uno smokey eyes di giorno, scegliete un ombretto nei toni della terra.

The last thing you want is for this guy to think that you’re obsessed with your appearance. 

Trust me, most men will perceive you as “fake” if they see you’re going all out when it comes to makeup and clothes. 

Al contrario, volete che lui pensi che questo sia il vostro look naturale. 

The same goes for clothing. No matter what, always make sure you’re dressed for the occasion.

The thing is to never allow him to realize you’ve spent hours trying on different outfits until you’ve found your perfect one. 

Another important thing is to be perfectly aware of your imperfections. Don’t worry, we all have them and they certainly won’t prevent this guy from trying to chase you . 

Please, don’t allow your insecurities to ruin your entire looks. Instead, be smart enough to hide your flaws and highlight your most appealing features. 

Also, I’m begging you: Never look vulgar. You might think that you’ll attract your guy by showing too much skin, but trust me on this, that attraction is not a long term thing. 

Whatever you wear, don’t forget that you’re a lady.

15. Farlo ingelosire

Finally, when you’re trying to figure out how to make him choose you over the other woman , don’t forget to turn the tables a little bit. For a change, play a game . 

In your situation, he’s the desirable one. He’s the one who has two women fighting over him – the one in the position to choose. 

Well, show him that two can play that game. Show him that you’re also in high demand and farlo ingelosire . 

Make this man realize that he could lose you in no time if he doesn’t make up his mind and choose you for real. Show him that you have a lot of options open.

Ci sono uomini là fuori che vogliono avere una relazione sana con te, ma tu sei qui, intrappolata in questa relazione triangolare tossica. 

I’m not saying that you should change your behavior and suddenly become promiscuous. 

However, it will be enough for him to see that other guys are trying to reach out to you and that your love life doesn’t depend solely on him. If nothing else, let him see that men are texting and calling you. 

Most importantly, show him that you won’t spend the rest of your life waiting for him to make the decision to break up with her. 

Dimostrategli che, per quanto vi interessi, il vostro amore per voi stessi sarà sempre più grande di quello che potreste provare per lui.