We’ve all had those ‘quasi relazioni‘ that start with a fire burning in our chest but end up burning us alive. I’ve had one too many of these relationships in which I didn’t even know where I was at. We started with a flirt that soon turned into coffee dates and texting, making out and hoping that it will turn into something wonderful, something real. At that time, I was convinced that he meant business. In my head, he was all over me because he would shower me with compliments and little acts of kindness. Every time we would go out, I would get a little flower from him that made me smile a little wider and laugh a little louder.

Ma a un certo punto è sparito. È semplicemente scomparso dalla mia vita. Mi sono chiesta cosa fosse successo perché non ho mai ricevuto una spiegazione di cosa fosse andato storto. Tutto ciò che potevo fare allora era ricordare quel dolce sorriso, quegli occhi verdi e quella voce profonda. Non mi rimase altro che un cuore spezzato e le lacrime agli occhi.

Dopo averne avuto abbastanza dell'infelicità che mi ha fatto passare perché se n'è andato, ho deciso di lasciare andare l'uomo che non è mai stato mio. Ma come si fa?

1. Realise that it’s not your mistake

If you’re going through this same experience, please be aware that it’s not your mistake! You are one wonderful woman that needs to gain her confidence back. You need to realise that you did everything you could to maintain the relationship. All the effort and all the wonderful time you dedicated into making him happy and more in love with you simply didn’t work out. It’s their loss, not yours.

2. Prendersi del tempo per stare da soli

Take all the time you need in order to be better. Let those memories hurt for a little while longer and let your tears flow. There’s nothing bad about it. Go through everything that happened in your mind because that’s the only way you can realise that it was never meant to be. Take time to shatter because you are strong enough to put yourself back together again.

3. Don’t let him know

This one hurts the most. You are the only one hurt right now. You wanted them to stay in your life, but all they did was wanish without leaving a trace – except the one on your heart. He left and he simply didn’t want to see your wonderful soul and tender heart. Why would you want to give him the pleasure of knowing that you miss him? After you have cried all your tears out, it’s time to jump up and conquer the world again. Don’t let him know that he broke you.

4. Interruzione della comunicazione

You’ve been in contact for quite some time now, right? You’ve texted in the morning and right before you went to bed. Sometimes, he would even call you to talk to you. But in order to heal after he broke your heart, it’s crucial to interrompere qualsiasi tipo di comunicazione you two had. Delete his number. Block him on all the social media there is. Don’t even say “hi” to him when you meet him.

5. Meritate di più

Just stop for a moment and think about it: you deserve way better than to be with someone who doesn’t love you wholeheartedly. You deserve so much more in life in general. You were not the one who let go of all that and for some reason, that guy simply decided to move on in life without you. You deserve someone who knows how to cherish and appreciate you.

6. Non essere disponibile

Don’t worry about being mean. If he texts you wanting to start dating again, be unavailable for him. What does he think: he can come back at any given time because you’ll be waiting for him? No. That’s not an option. If he calls you to hang out together, just ignore it. He was the one to end the communication the first time. Now just follow his lead.

7. Don’t fool yourself

Remember that what you had wasn’t a real relationship. It wasn’t something serious, so it’s not something to mourn about forever. You can’t allow yourself to think that it was something serious and real because if you do, there’s a high possibility that you are going to start it all over again.

In the end, as an option, you can start dating again. I’m putting this at the end because it’s up to you if you’re ready for that or not. We tend to go out into the dating world when we simply want to take revenge on someone, but that’s not a solution and you know it.

You need to be kind to yourself. You need to follow your own instincts. If you’re not ready to date again it’s totally fine.

Prendetevi tutto il tempo di cui avete bisogno per guarire perché Mr. Right will be waiting for you no matter what. And what makes him different? He will never let go of you—no matter what happens.