So che è egoista, ma non voglio perderti

When I say, “I love you,” I am saying ‘forever’. When I say that I am afraid to lose you, I am saying that I have no idea how would my life andare avanti senza di te. It makes me sound as if I am seemingly desperate and I don’t actually mind.

Mi conosci troppo bene, quindi sai perché piango quando mi sdraio sul tuo petto, ascoltando il battito del tuo cuore. You know it’s because I’m afraid that your heart might stop and I will be left alone to fight with the idea that you’re no longer by my side.

Sono egoista, ma allo stesso tempo darei tutto per te. Sono egoista al punto da volerti tutta per me, solo per poterti dare me stessa e tutto ciò che sono.

It’s a contradiction that I face from day to day, trying to understand what my heart and mind are telling me.

It took me some time to realize that it’s nothing possessive but rather the fear of not being able to look at you or not being able to tell you how much I truly, deeply love you.

I am afraid to lose you because I can’t see myself loving anyone else and the thought that someone could possibly take your place one day is like poison to my mind because I don’t want that.

I don’t want to meet someone else and have to explain to them why I think that the stars are so beautiful.

I don’t want to have to explain myself to someone else when I start screaming how beautiful the sunset looks.

When I did all that in front of you, you just smiled, hugged me and kissed my forehead. It’s still my favorite kiss. It’s like you’re telling me that you’re not going anywhere and that mi proteggerai sempre.

Lo voglio. Lo voglio davvero. Voglio che tu rimanga al mio fianco per proteggerci a vicenda, perché non c'è nessuno là fuori che possa capirci come noi capiamo tutto nella vita dell'altro.

Se trovi un'altra persona (Dio non voglia) e capisci che sarai più felice con lei, lasciando me, porterai il mio cuore con te. Si lascerebbe dietro un guscio vuoto.

Ma voglio che tu sia felice. Se questo significa lasciarmi, fai pure. Ma sii felice. Proprio come tu vuoi che io sia felice.

These thoughts don’t change the fact that I’m still afraid of a life without you by my side. That’s why everything I am and everything I will ever be, I’m giving to you.

I am afraid of mornings where I won’t be able to wake up seeing your wonderful, innocent face.

I’m afraid of nights that I might fall asleep not being able to curl up next to you and not being able to feel your warm breath on my face and the warmth of your body, so close to mine. I don’t want to see any of those scenes happen.

And I know that you don’t want that either. My fears are based on previous experiences that told me that if you hold someone dear, they will leave.

Non mi hai mai dato motivo di pensare che mi avresti mostrato le tue spalle e che non avresti fatto nulla di male. allontanarsi. It’s just that I’ve learned that with loving someone, comes losing them.

Sorry that I’m so complicated. Sorry for telling you this for the hundredth time, but I am afraid to lose you.