I used to think relazioni a distanza were reserved for college sweethearts separated by study abroad programs, military couples, and people who met on vacation and swore they’d “make it work.” I never thought I’d be part of that club. And yet, here I am—refreshing my messages like a teenager, scheduling FaceTime calls like a CEO, and suddenly having very strong opinions about Wi-Fi strength.
My partner and I didn’t start out long-distance. Oh no, we were perfectly content, living our everyday, in-person, “hey, can you grab more coffee?” kind of life. And then—boom—circumstances happened. Life did what it does best: threw a curveball and smirked while we scrambled to catch it.
Quindi ora, here we are, counting down days, navigating different time zones (or at least it sensazioni like we are), and learning a thing or two about trust and communication. And let me tell you, I thought we were solid before? Ha. Long-distance said, “Let’s test that theory.”
When Your Love Language Becomes “Read Receipts”
I never knew how much I relied on nonverbal cues until I didn’t have them. Gone were the casual shoulder squeezes, the eye rolls exchanged across the room, the ability to physically nudge him when he said something ridiculous. Instead, I found myself reading into text tones like I was decoding an ancient manuscript.
Is “ok.” different from “okay”? What does it media when he takes longer to reply? Why did he react to my message with a thumbs-up instead of words?
Let’s just say, overthinking became my side hustle.
But then, something wild happened. Instead of sending passive-aggressive “…” texts (don’t judge me), I started asking things. You know, like a functional adult. “Hey, when you reply with just ‘okay,’ are you annoyed or just busy?” Turns out, he was usually just busy. Mind-blowing.
This long-distance setup forced us to say what we meant instead of relying on facial expressions, sarcastic eyebrow raises, and that sixth sense you develop when you’re around someone all the time. And honestly? It’s been game-changing. No guessing, no decoding—just straight-up communication. Who knew?
Trust: The Unofficial Long-Distance Currency
Let’s talk about the thing that makes or breaks every long-distance relationship: trust.
Now, I’ve never been the type to demand a live feed of my partner’s every move, but there’s something about being physically apart that makes your brain go, hmm, what’s he doing right now? And that’s where trust comes in—not the fluffy, Pinterest-quote kind, but the real, sometimes uncomfortable, “I have no choice but to believe in this” kind.
Long-distance made me realize that trust isn’t about knowing everything—it’s about not needing to. I don’t need to know exactly where he is or what he’s doing every second. I don’t need constant reassurance. What I fare need is confidence in our relationship, security in how we communicate, and the ability to check myself when unnecessary doubts creep in.
Of course, it helps that we’ve set some ground rules—things like daily check-ins, voice notes when we’re too tired to text, and a mutual agreement that “going MIA for 12 hours” is not an option. But the biggest thing? Trusting that we’re still noi, no matter how many miles are between us.
The Art of Making Boring Texts Romantic
Once upon a time, I thought romance was fancy date nights, forehead kisses, and those I just saw you, but I already miss you kind of hugs. Turns out, romance in a relazione a distanza looks a little different.
E' random voice notes when one of us hears a song we both love.
E' a mid-day “thinking of you” text that takes five seconds but makes the whole day better.
E' a poorly lit FaceTime call where we both look exhausted but still stay up talking because it’s the only time we can.
And yes, sometimes it’s making “Good morning” texts sound less robotic because let’s be real, they can get repetitive. So instead of the standard “Morning babe,” we mix it up. One day it’s “Rise and shine, superstar.” Another day, it’s “Hope you didn’t hit snooze 12 times.” Keeps things fresh.
Arguments? Oh, They Hit Different
Let’s get real—fighting in a long-distance relationship is its own special kind of frustrating. When you’re together, arguments can end with a hug, a shared meal, or a fine, but I’m stealing your blanket tonight level of pettiness. When you’re apart? Oh, no. It’s texts left on read, calls that potrebbe happen but don’t, and the horror of trying to resolve things through a screen.
Early on, we realized that long-distance arguments have to be handled differently. No vague “we’ll talk later” messages (because later could be hours away). No hanging up mid-call and leaving the other person wondering if they should reach out or let things cool down.
Instead, we set a rule: If we fight, we finish it. Not in an unhealthy, force-the-conversation way, but in a let’s not let this fester kind of way. Because holding onto frustration when you non può physically be near someone? Not fun.
So, Is It Worth It?
Short answer: Yes.
Long answer: It’s not easy, but nothing worth having ever is. (Okay, I know I sound like someone’s wise grandmother, but stay with me.)
This long-distance chapter has made us stronger, better communicators, and, oddly enough, even more connected. It’s shown me that a relationship isn’t just about proximity—it’s about effort. And as much as I miss the small, everyday things, I know that when we’re finally back in the same place, we’ll appreciate them so much more.
So, for now? We make it work. With humor. With trust. With weirdly creative goodnight texts. And, let’s be honest, with a countdown to when long-distance is finally a thing of the past.