I’ll be honest, I used to hate flirting and was bad at all kinds of love games. I thought it was just a waste of time. Until I met my hubby.
When we met, he was working for a company that was in some kind of partnership with mine, so the two of us had to interact a lot. At first, he was sending me mixed signals I would miss noticing (I’m telling you, at the time I was bad at it), but he was tireless.
During our business meetings, he would use the opportunity to give me THE STARE from time to time and then pretend that I wasn’t in the room for the rest of the meeting. Other times he would start chatting about random things and then leave abruptly.
I was puzzled but then I started playing the game. After a few weeks, I was a flirting pro! Long story short, we’ve been together for years and still find lots of joy in flirting.
Before I teach you how to become a flirting pro, I’ll remind you that flirting is an inevitable part of the dating experience. I know a possible rejection can be hurtful, but hey – no risk, no gain! A few times I too witnessed how the sting of rejection destroyed my confidence, but that’s just life.
If flirting seems frightening, you may wanna try its micro-version instead. I don’t know if you might have heard about it, but there’s a new dating trend – micro-flirting.
What on Earth is “micro-flirting”?!
I know, I was puzzled too, but it’s just a low-key, discrete, almost unnoticeable way to test if someone is interested in you.
Imagine waiting in line at the coffee shop, and the guy behind you makes fun of your choice of coffee, then says: Just kiddin’! and winks.
You can’t say he’s been hitting on you – he was just joking. Maybe you laughed at his joke, but you were also just polite, nothing more. If you didn’t catch the play, he wouldn’t be hurt as it was nothing but a random micro-chat.
However, if you continue chatting and joking, it’s on. Micro-flirting is now in play.
Skilled flirters will roll their eyes at this, but this technique is certainly not for them. If that guy was a skilled flirter he wouldn’t be so subtle. Maybe he’d buy you his favorite type of coffee or even invite you to talk about coffee flavors at his table.
Dating experts will say it is just flirting in a lowercase. (Such a funny trope! 😄) The way I see it, micro-flirting is the same as flirting but more cautious, and more between the lines. Try to imagine flirting wearing an itsy-bitsy disguise.
Finally, take it as a flirty play, and make sure to play it cool! Also, make sure not to overplay – don’t be too hard to get! Now you’re probably wondering: “But how do I know if this micro-flirting of yours is for me?”
Well, if you’re shy, then guuurl, this technique is made for you!
Being anxious and usually not very confident in my charm and looks, I found micro-flirting to be perfect for me. When I first tried it, I was amazed at the amount of attention I got and my self-esteem was waaay better.
It’s popular among young people too. I found out my 19-year-old cousin loves it. Sarah admits she enjoys playing without the burden or fear of rejection. That fear is usually the greatest obstacle in flirting, so this safer version feels more suitable.
Wanna be a micro-flirt pro? Stay with me and read on. You’ll know how to recognize the micro-signs and all the subtle non-verbal techniques. Check if your guy is:
1. Making eye contact using the 3-second rule
Does your crush give you the sly stare or use the 3-second rule? You can’t miss it: he looks at you once, looks away, and then within 3 seconds looks at you again.
2. Getting closer
If he seizes an opportunity to stand close to you and uses body language to convey appeal or an invitation, he’s probably micro-flirting. Or even if he discreetly touches you – that might be a sign too.
3. Poking fun at you
He playfully teases you for your typos or clumsiness. If his jokes are light-hearted and a bit corny it must be an indication of micro-flirting.
4. Emitting microfacial signals
Micro-this, micro-that, and now some microfacial signals to keep track of?!
So if you notice cues such as raising eyebrows, winking, lip biting, or a sneaky smile – there you are. Even a subtle facial expression of sweet nervousness might be a signal of micro-flirting.
5. Interviewing you
As soon as he bumps into you he turns on an interview mode and keeps asking a ton of questions. On the outside it seems like a random chat, but on the inside – a safe way to stare at you.
Tell me the benefits and downsides of micro-flirting!
One of the main flaws of micro-flirting is that it’s sometimes so subtle it goes unnoticed. You may think you’ve pitched the hook but he will have no idea and will miss out.
Also, as a very vague way of showing interest, it may seem unclear and cryptic. He will mistake your non-verbal signs and subtext with you being friendly, not flirty.
Micro-flirting can be a fun way of interaction at work or a good way to express politeness in social situations. The lack of clear meaning behind it will prevent any solid conclusion that you are really interested in him.
This applies to you too; it doesn’t mean every smiling, friendly person you meet is micro-flirting with you. That waiter is maybe just very good at his job and a genuinely nice person.
However, if you see potential in this flirting trend make sure to get a good use of micro-flirting. It’s only the initial hook but soon you’ll need to level up to old-fashioned flirting. Flirting is always a YES, be it micro or macro.